LOVE IS PATIENT... IT ALWAYS WAITS
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One of the most comforting lines in the Bible is: “Love is patient, love is kind… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.”
Always. Yes, Love is patient… It always waits!
Two days ago, a parent brought along his 16-year-old daughter to enroll for our P.D. course. Though hadn’t studied beyond tenth standard, he came about as one of the most educated and encouraging parents. During the course of our discussion, he spoke about his older daughter. “She is our darling,” he showed her picture from his phone, “She will complete 25 years on 16th of this month and I will be completing 50 on the 18th. So, we will be celebrating in a grand way. Do come Sir.”
It did not take me even a single second to understand the situation. The older girl was born with some physical and mental challenge and has remained confined to the wheelchair for twenty-five years. I was told – and I could feel – that, she was truly a darling of their family!
Acceptance must have taken a long, long time to come. But, it has come so beautifully… There is peace. Pain is inevitable… But, suffering is, indeed, optional!
The same night, I found a message sent by my dear friend, Kiran,* who lives abroad. Her journey with her young son’s drug addiction is a roller-coaster journey. She is a mother and she will never give up on her son… The recovery seems so illusive… so near yet so far. There are moments of hope and there are moments of despair. But, as the words in the Bible remind, Love is patient… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Yes, it waits! I wish to share in my Post our conversation…
“After celebrating that Akshay successfully completed the Rehab Programme and stayed sober for sixty days, I am devastated and heart-broken to share with you that Akshay has relapsed!
Our counselor and programme director at the Rehab had, always, impressed upon us that it is very common in the world of addiction for the relapse to happen. But, we believed that Akshay would beat the odds... We start all over again… I don’t know if I have the strength to do it again. Keep us in your prayers and keep sending good energy to Akshay.”
“Sorry Kiran, for the delayed response… Well, you know how it is! It’s easy for me and your friends to say, ‘Don’t worry, all will be fine.’ But, it is not easy for you, Kiran. I had no words to express my concern… I took some time, therefore. You are Askhay’s mother, and no matter what, you will not give up on him… You will try every possible means and you will try to hold on to every slender branch for his recovery. I think, in that very passion lies the secret of your peace. Akshay will bounce back, Kiran… He will… His mother, too, will! I am not just using words to make you feel good… Trust me… Hold the fort, dear. Love and best wishes.”
“Thanks for your king and thoughtful words of comfort. Our counselor says, that each time an individual has relapsed, he is that much closer to recovery. That was encouraging to know… Appreciate you allowing me to share all the updates – some great and some not so great.
“At the gym I go to, one of my favourite trainers, always, says, “Show up each day… Some days you are capable of lifting the heavier weights and some other days you can do only the lightest weights. But, by showing up, you are getting a bit stronger each time…Not showing up or quitting or being afraid will not make you stronger… That’s my motivational talk to myself… To show up for Akshay and our family. I cannot quit or allow my fears to hold me from showing up.”
“Kiran, that’s the true reason why we should hang on… and, that’s, also, the true definition of ‘Courage’: ‘Courage is not absence of fear. It’s doing the seemingly impossible things despite fear, with a quaking heart.’ My love and prayers.”
Last evening, my wife and I watched the Hindi movie ‘October’. It’s a beautiful story about love… Yes, the love which is patient and kind. Love that protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. And, yes, Love that waits. I suggest you watch the movie and let your hearts feel the strength of Love…
True. You need to show up, no matter how you feel inside. There is no other way to love.
* Names changed