PARKHI MAA KAAN VINDHE
A 16-year-old boy, by the name Aarya, called
me up, last afternoon. He wanted to join our ongoing Personality Development course.
He said, “Sir, can you give me all the details so that I can discuss them with
my parents?”
I gave Aarya all the details, and, within
the next two hours, his mother called me up. “Sir, my husband and I will come along
with Aarya tomorrow morning at 9 to enroll him. Is that fine?”
“Perfectly fine, ma’am,” I said.
Today. Sharp at 9, Aarya - a lean-and-tall boy
who has just given his tenth-standard Board-exams – was here in my office
accompanied by his parents.
This was a different experience for me, today.
Normally, the parents ask me a dozen questions, like: “Sir, what do you teach
in PD?”… “How do you go about it?”… “Will they be confident after the course?”…
“Do you take out fear from them?”… “What about English - Will they be fluent…
Will you teach them good vocabulary and diction?”… “Will they be ‘perfect’?... “Do
you give us guarantee?”… And, even, this: “Can they sit for a ‘Demo’ session?”
I go crazy.
I promise them nothing. Guarantee, Demo session, English, Perfection…
all these myth and misgivings I demolish in my own way within few minutes into
our discussion. A lot of rubbish is being floated in the name of ‘Personality
Development’… The concept is too glamorized and commercialized. I tell them the
reason why I started all these activities, and, how was my state when I was a
young boy. So, if I hadn’t been to any of these sessions as a young boy and
still done fairly well in life, what business do I have to ‘brain-wash’ the
parents and young one?
I make it very clear: “They do not need any
of these… Personality Development is a long-drawn process and a course like
this one will not bring out a tree out of the sapling in a few days or weeks.
The sapling has to stand the test of time… The bud has to wait to become a
rose. Yes, meanwhile, we, parents and teachers, can do our bit. But, certainly
not against the Nature’s Grand Design for our young ones… Who knows what they
will turn out to be? Who knows how many apples will come out of a seed?”
So, this morning, I had a different t kind
of experience. I gave the form to Aarya, “Beta, please fill it.”
“What’s today’s date, mom?” Aarya asked his
mother.
I was tempted to answer, “13th April, beta.”
But, before that, I heard the mother telling her son, “Recall and decide
yourself.”
“13th April?” Aarya wanted to confirm with
his mother.
“Imagine, I am not there, here, to help you.
So, what is today’s date… Find out on your own?”
“Papa, 13th April?” Aarya looked
at his father.
“I don’t know, Aarya,” the father said, “Decide,
trust your decision.”
Aarya wrote, “13th April, 2018.”
I smiled!
The next was the cheque. The father only
signed it and he wanted Aarya to write the rest. “He will learn making his
mistakes,” I was told.
“Wow!” I declared.
Aarya’s mother told me that she has been
helping him in her own way to become self-confident in life. “I want him to
become self-dependent when it comes to taking his day-to-day decisions,” she
said. She pointed to two day-to-day areas. “Sir, he loves to play with his
friends outside. Even during the Board exams, he did not stop playing for three
hours every day. But, he did his studies. But, I had to call him up… Raise my
voice. too. The other day, I said to him, “Aarya, I will allow you to play
outside 24/7. But, tell me, when will you come up – when you become completely exhausted
or when all your friends go away?’… He said, ‘When all my friends go away’!
Similarly, at home he sits before the ’Idiot Box’ till all others stop watching
it. I want him to decide for himself… and not go by others’ decisions’.”
I was impressed.
The mother continued, “Tomorrow morning my
husband and I will be going to Pune for two days. Aarya too was supposed to
come with us. But, we are leaving him behind.”
“What about his food?” I asked.
“He knows to cook… He does a good job,” the
mother said. “If there is a picnic, he gets up on his own… Let him get up on
his own for school and other things too,” the mother explained.
“That’s Personality Development’ ma’am… You
have been doing it so amazingly,” I complimented.
“I know,” the mother laughed, “But, in Gujarati, we have a saying, “Parkhi, maa kaan vindhe,”
“What does that mean?” I was curious.
“To pierce my child’s ears, another mother can
be more effective!” Aarya’s mother explained, holding his soft ear…
So, the child is in my custody now… I am
expected to do a very effective ear-piercing job!
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic.: Rashmi Sondhi
Video: YouTube/Gaur Gopal Das
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