REMEMBERING OUR MAHABALESHWAR HONEYMOONS









A wedding in the family is a wedding in the family. A lot of pressure, you see… I mean the social pressure…

I hear some of you react, “What social pressure? It’s a wedding in ‘our’ family, it’s ‘our’ money, ‘our’ likes and dislikes… So, why should we care about what other people think of us?”

Chalo… Blessed are those who really can go about handling the wedding in their family without caring for what other people think of them. They, in my opinion, are the strongest, wisest and the most peaceful people in the world…

The rest of us, including myself, are just mortals… We battle with that ghost -  ‘Log kya kahenge?”


Some twenty five (or so) years ago, when a young boy and girl from a middle-class of a Mumbai family married, the honeymoon destinations used to be Mahabaleshwar, Matheran, Kandala or Lonavala. For the richer lot, it was Kashmir, Simla, Kulu-Manali, Ooti, Kodai Kanal, Mysore-Bangalore, Mount Abu etc. ‘Destination weddings’ was an alien idea…

And now? Let’s be honest… Will we – the so-called ‘middle class, the salaried – think of a Mahabaleshwar or Kandala-Lonavala honeymoon when wedding happens in the family?

Come on, Come on… Let’s be honest…

As I said, blessed are those, who really keep the ‘other peoples’ opinion out of their family affairs. They know, wedding is  only a day (an occasion) and marriage is a lifetime… They know, the world – the who-is-who of this world – will not be there for the couple, tomorrow, during their good times and bad times, the health and sickness. The who-is-who attending the wedding party ( sorry ‘parties’), the glitter and the extravaganza, the dreamlike destination- weddings and those exotic honeymoons… hello, they really know, that, at the end of the day, it takes just two little hearts to make a wedding a true marriage…

The world – the who-is-who – is irrelevant… The dreamlike castle-weddings, the exotic honeymoons, the countless royal ceremonies and the talk-of-the-town addiction – yes, the strong and wise ones know, that none of these matter…

But then, you and me are just mortals, you see… We are yet to gain that strength and wisdom… So, even if we live, here, in our humble chawls or one-or-two-bedroom houses, even if we perennially juggle every month with our meager income, when it comes to a wedding in the family, God save us… And, if we happen to be raised in some ‘kattar communities’ – God, please interfere, and urgently!

Beg, borrow or steal… You know now what this phrase really means, and why! It just takes a wedding – for that matter even the b’day of your toddler or a wedding anniversary – to grasp the deep meaning of it…


How much is ‘enough’? That’s, in my view, the toughest question. I am still struggling to find an answer… It’s tough to make our own choices by withstanding all the ‘Log-kya-kahenge’ pressures… We are scared of being judged, misunderstood, ridiculed, or looked-down upon… But, we all know that’s not true… It’s all in the mind, in our assumptions and presumptions… It’s all there, because we are not strong and wise…

So, there we are… Beg, borrow or steal, we will do it… We will blow it out… We will try desperately to keep up with the Ambanis…
And, the Ambanis, meanwhile, are trying desperately to keep up with someone out there… I don’t know who!

But, when it comes to a wedding in the family, we all do it… Yes, in our own ‘Little Ambani Way’…
By the way, anybody is getting married in your family, one of these days? Are you feeling the pressure – ‘Log Kya Kahenge’?

Chill… You are not alone… and, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You will remember me when the day comes…

Only Blessings!!!



GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Blessings on the net



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi...
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How ...
Read more

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"

Image
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or pain...
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...