REMEMBERING OUR MAHABALESHWAR HONEYMOONS









A wedding in the family is a wedding in the family. A lot of pressure, you see… I mean the social pressure…

I hear some of you react, “What social pressure? It’s a wedding in ‘our’ family, it’s ‘our’ money, ‘our’ likes and dislikes… So, why should we care about what other people think of us?”

Chalo… Blessed are those who really can go about handling the wedding in their family without caring for what other people think of them. They, in my opinion, are the strongest, wisest and the most peaceful people in the world…

The rest of us, including myself, are just mortals… We battle with that ghost -  ‘Log kya kahenge?”


Some twenty five (or so) years ago, when a young boy and girl from a middle-class of a Mumbai family married, the honeymoon destinations used to be Mahabaleshwar, Matheran, Kandala or Lonavala. For the richer lot, it was Kashmir, Simla, Kulu-Manali, Ooti, Kodai Kanal, Mysore-Bangalore, Mount Abu etc. ‘Destination weddings’ was an alien idea…

And now? Let’s be honest… Will we – the so-called ‘middle class, the salaried – think of a Mahabaleshwar or Kandala-Lonavala honeymoon when wedding happens in the family?

Come on, Come on… Let’s be honest…

As I said, blessed are those, who really keep the ‘other peoples’ opinion out of their family affairs. They know, wedding is  only a day (an occasion) and marriage is a lifetime… They know, the world – the who-is-who of this world – will not be there for the couple, tomorrow, during their good times and bad times, the health and sickness. The who-is-who attending the wedding party ( sorry ‘parties’), the glitter and the extravaganza, the dreamlike destination- weddings and those exotic honeymoons… hello, they really know, that, at the end of the day, it takes just two little hearts to make a wedding a true marriage…

The world – the who-is-who – is irrelevant… The dreamlike castle-weddings, the exotic honeymoons, the countless royal ceremonies and the talk-of-the-town addiction – yes, the strong and wise ones know, that none of these matter…

But then, you and me are just mortals, you see… We are yet to gain that strength and wisdom… So, even if we live, here, in our humble chawls or one-or-two-bedroom houses, even if we perennially juggle every month with our meager income, when it comes to a wedding in the family, God save us… And, if we happen to be raised in some ‘kattar communities’ – God, please interfere, and urgently!

Beg, borrow or steal… You know now what this phrase really means, and why! It just takes a wedding – for that matter even the b’day of your toddler or a wedding anniversary – to grasp the deep meaning of it…


How much is ‘enough’? That’s, in my view, the toughest question. I am still struggling to find an answer… It’s tough to make our own choices by withstanding all the ‘Log-kya-kahenge’ pressures… We are scared of being judged, misunderstood, ridiculed, or looked-down upon… But, we all know that’s not true… It’s all in the mind, in our assumptions and presumptions… It’s all there, because we are not strong and wise…

So, there we are… Beg, borrow or steal, we will do it… We will blow it out… We will try desperately to keep up with the Ambanis…
And, the Ambanis, meanwhile, are trying desperately to keep up with someone out there… I don’t know who!

But, when it comes to a wedding in the family, we all do it… Yes, in our own ‘Little Ambani Way’…
By the way, anybody is getting married in your family, one of these days? Are you feeling the pressure – ‘Log Kya Kahenge’?

Chill… You are not alone… and, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You will remember me when the day comes…

Only Blessings!!!



GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Blessings on the net



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