DAMNED IF YOU DO, DAMNED IF YOU DON'T

Whenever I see myself criticizing someone, I experience a strange feeling inside me… If the need to criticize the other person comes from my weakness – dislike, insecurity, jealousy or sourness - it leaves my spirit poorer. On the other hand, if it comes from my strength - my love, care and true concern to help - it leaves my spirit richer.

“He has a right to criticize,” said Abraham Lincoln, “who has a heart to help.” So, where is my need to criticize someone coming from – from my dislike or care? From my strength or weakness? In our PD sessions, I, often, explain to young ones as to how lack of encouragement and more of criticism cause cracks in our self-confidence mirror. When we are little children, we do not know how to handle criticism. Most of us, slowly and steadily, allow ourselves to sulk because of it… Or, we learn to react negatively. Both end up making us ‘touchy’… Sulk or react!  

“The trouble with most of us is,” said Norman Vincent Peale, “that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”

Little children must be taught to take criticism correctly. They must be taught to filter it out. It is important to teach them, that all criticism is not bad… That, the good one – the constructive one – will help them become fine individuals in life… That, their flaws can be corrected, only by accepting them when someone, who cares for them, points out.

…

I strongly feel, that fear of being criticized is one of the biggest reasons for our underperformance. The child in us has learnt to protect itself from being criticized… yes, by hiding inside the shell. The shell needs to be broken, you see. For, it’s the nature of this world to criticize you, whether you do right things or wrong things. As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right. For, you will be criticized anyway… You’ll be damned if you do; and damned if you don’t.”

So, let’s do it… Let’s be ‘saved’ through criticism!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: pixabay.com