Gerald D'Cunha

  “We must live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” Martin Luther King Jr. M ost of us have two faces: One reflects our inherent selves as gentle humans. The other reflects our superimposed selves as ‘politicians’. I think, this is true for all of us. It means, that I am no exception. In the heart of my hearts, I know everyone around me is just like me – a human being, my brother or sister, as we all are children of the same God. So, there is no difference at all between ‘them’ and ‘us’… What they eat, wear and pray to and what we eat, wear and pray to – yes, for the gentle soul in me, it never matters. My ideals spring from this space – It’s so beautiful… so Life-enriching! But, the moment I become a ‘politician’, I am compelled to walk around wearing the other face… the superimposed, dishonest, false face. I am compelled to hide my true feelings of love brotherhood… I am compelled to take hard stands… I am compelled to express my divisive and hateful word...

  “The greatest single achievement of Nature to date   was surely the invention of the molecule DNA.” Lewis Thomas H ow big is really big? And how much is really much? The ‘bigness’ and ‘muchness’, somehow, don’t lure me anymore. But, it wasn’t so, many years ago, when success meant ‘how big’ the numbers were… How many students I had (How many branches), how much I earned, how popular and widely known I was… What I began to realize, over time, was this: If I let ‘size’ and ‘popularity’ to decide the state of my happiness, then, that very need could become a constant source of my anxiety and worry. Because, deep in in my heart, I knew, that ‘size’ and ‘popularity’ would slide… When they did, would I be prepared to ‘accept’ the reality? “What goes up comes down!” It’s not just a Law in Physics, it’s a Law in Life, too. The most beautiful pageants - ‘Miss Universe’ and ‘Miss World’ - and ‘The Strongest Man on Earth’ – haven’t they all shrunken? What about ‘The Fas...

  “Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For, only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.” Kahlil Gibran in ‘The Prophet’ (First published in1923)   A dear friend of mine, after her marriage has been living in one of North Indian states for close to thirty years. She has two grown up daughters. Almost every member in the family is well-educated. They are financially well-off, as well. Three nights ago, I saw this message in my inbox sent by this friend: “Will marriage of a Hindu girl with a Christian boy be successful - if girl’s parents are not ready for it and don’t agree for inter-community marriage? They are least ready to support. A similar family-situation has come up for my niece. Wanted to get a realist opinion on this. Do major conflicts arise in inter-community marriages from your experience?” It’s sheer co-incidence, that this anxious message had come to me against the backdrop of Tanishq-ad controversy? When two young adults deci...

  “But, there was a difference between being stuck and choosing to stay. Between being found and finding yourself.” Martina Boone O ur compulsions and our commitments are not same. Yet, if we aren’t mindful, our commitments can easily become our compulsions. I, sometimes, forget this truth and put myself under unnecessary mental pressure. Commitment to my plans and ideals are what go in making me a fine, efficient and trustworthy person. But, unless I re-examine my commitments, time to time, yes, they can become my compulsions and cause unnecessary stress in my life… Nothing is perfect in Life. No plan is foolproof. Loyalty doesn’t come with a guarantee. Health can cheat us, no matter how cautious we try to be. Our children are not our possessions. Our work is not our Life… It’s just a part. And, we all know how important money in Life is. But, we also know this: our inner security doesn’t depend on the money in our Bank… The deep understanding in our hearts, that we wi...

  “Aggression has no ears.” Mahrukh Memon I am a believer in ambition. Honestly, to realize any of our dreams – whether it means academic excellence, good health, good relationships, success in business, or even conquering the world like Alexander-the-Great – yes, the way through is only ambition. Saints and Satans, both, are driven by the same fuel - ambition… But, but, but… The difference in our approach lies in the ‘means’ we adopt to achieve our respective ‘ends’… As Mahatma Gandhi said, our means are as important as our ends. I would go a step further and say, our means are more important than our ends! As humans, you and I want to progress in life. None of us looks below for our inspiration; we all look above. So, the rich and the famous, the bold and the beautiful have always been our weakness. And, along that route, some of us lose our way… Some of us, mercifully, don’t… Dhirubhai Ambani built the largest business-empire in a very short time. But, his means, a...

  “One of the keys to our happiness is bad memory.” Rita Mae Brown   A lmost all the viral videos become so viral, because, someone simply shoots them without stressing out, and uploads them without expecting anything in return. Ask anyone, whose videos have gone insanely viral, and you will see a simple, joyful heart behind it! On the other hand, if I write something or create a piece of art and attempt to make it viral, it mostly doesn’t even take off! The best things in life are simply spontaneous… Unplanned and done with no expectations. I am sure, many of us have come across this video, lately:     Then, someone added these rustic beats and made it even more heart-warming!   “With mirth and laughter, let old wrinkles come.” This is what William Shakespeare tells us through ‘The Merchant of Venice’. Well, I think, our old wrinkles come not through mirth and laughter alone; the sorrows and anxieties, too, pave way for them!   W hen 20...

  “A thousand sorrows prepares a man to preach.” John Piper   I think, one of the most misunderstood – and misused – interpretations of the teachings of Christianity is this: Jesus died for us… He was sent down by His Father, The God, to redeem us from our sins… So, He is our Redeemer, the Salvador, the Saviour and so on… How nicely, we have washed our hands of our sins and responsibilities! How nicely we have used Jesus as our cross-bearer! What a flawed logic: We are the sinners; but, He has to carry the cross… We are the criminals; but, He has to be nailed on the cross! I can’t swallow this teaching, Sir! Each one of us, here on this earth, is supposed to carry our own personal cross. Yes, God or His Son will come to our help only when we perform our personal responsibilities. “God saves only those who help themselves.” Why on earth, do you think, that this old proverb still floats around? So, if I wake up to my personal responsibility towards my life, the te...

  “Be kind to others. Because, the world is dealing with three pandemics same time: Greed, Corruption and Corona Virus.” De philosopher, DJ Kyos   “H ello Sir, how’re you? This is my new number; please save. Please do get in touch with me whenever you plan to visit our beautiful land.” Who was this man, and which beautiful land was he referring to? Both, my wife and I, had a desire to visit beautiful Kashmir – which was, always, hailed as ‘The Heaven on Earth’ - for a long time. But, for a very long time, our desire was crushed under the painful reality of endless insurgency on the one side and the merciless deluge on the other. It took decades for the people of Kashmir – whose main livelihood depended on tourism – to limp their way back to normalcy. So, in the summer of 2016, when our 25 th wedding anniversary was approaching, we both decided to fulfil one of our long-cherished-but-buried wishes. By then, tourism was substantially back. A couple of our family...

  “Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” Chili Davis   W hat would you call this: When my son was a little boy, I shouted and he shut his mouth; and, today, when he is a young man, he shouts and I shut my mouth? And, what would you call this: When, as a little boy, I screamed and woke up through my nightmares, my mom would put a holy rosary around my neck; today, at 62, when I still scream and wake up in my nightmares, I feel ashamed to talk about it? And, when that happens inside me, if my heart still feels the gentle comfort of my mom’s hands, even though, she is no more around me… Yes, what would you call it? D o we ever ‘grow up’ in life, or we simply claim we do? Or, as Chili Davis says, do we all ‘grow old’, by default, compulsorily, and choose to ‘grow up’ or not? I am confused, Sir! The child in me should never grow up, I feel. I don’t want to feel numb when there is a gentle touch, and, I don’t want to feel like a stone when the Sun goes...