THE COURAGE TO LIVE
“Sometimes, even to
live is an act of courage.”
Lucius Annaeus
Seneca
I seriously
think, that the most valuable gift you and I can give to ourselves – is to be
kind to ourselves! And, I, also, think, that you and I have never seriously paused
to reflect on what ‘being kind to oneself’ means…
For each one of
us, there are two kinds of pressures to deal with.
The first kind
of pressure is the one which others put on us: to perform better, and even
better… to excel, shine, beat, stand out, earn more, become ‘number one’, crack
this and crack that… become famous, rich and everything that ‘shows, glows,
shines’…
Yes, this kind
of pressure is from outside. Teachers, parents, coaches, team leaders, bosses –
we all know what such pressure is… how it can work as a double-edged sword… make
it or break it.
We justify,
saying, “How can anyone excel unless and until put under such pressure?”
The point taken,
Sir. “Diamonds are cut under pressure” … Yes, ‘Diamonds’. But, diamonds are lifeless…
They have no heart or soul, no emotions. Humans are living beings; they have
fragile emotions… Thus, before we think, that we can cut them like diamonds, let
us – parents, teachers, coaches, team leaders, bosses, all – please step back
and take a long breath…
You see, some humans
can’t take the pressure… They break!
The
second kind of pressure is the one you and I put on ourselves – self-exerted.
Here, the parents, teachers, coaches, team leaders, bosses and everyone else
around may keep telling us, “Relax, it’s okay… Take it easy.” But, what we tell
ourselves, mercilessly, is “It’s not okay, it’s not enough.”
This kind of pressure,
I think, is more burdensome, more crushing… Its is invisible, and, often, left
unexpressed and unshared. Obviously, the weight of this pressure is unbearable… and, so are its consequences.
One
of my Class-12 students is a national-level sportsman. He tours frequently to
play tournaments all over the country. Due to this, he has to regularly miss my
classes. But, being a sportsman, he knows how much to expect in his exams and
how much to expect in his matches. He knows, that, in life, we can’t have it
all. So, some matches, he wins, and some, he loses. In exams, some he scores
very low, even fails; but, mostly, he does decently well… But, importantly, he
enjoys. At the end of the day, he comes home and feels - ‘I am home’!
Last week, my
student had to miss one of my 8-am classes for another reason. He had sent a
message to me early in the morning, saying, that one of his cousins had died of
suicide!
“Very sad to
hear that news, dear,” I sent an immediate reply, “My deepest condolences… Don’t
worry about my class. Meanwhile, please call me whenever you can.”
The reason I had
asked my student to call (whenever he could) was to know what had triggered his
cousin’s suicide…
The next morning,
my student’s mother (who holds a good position in a reputed organization)
called me up to describe what had happened…
Apparently, the
young man, her nephew, had been an exceptionally bright kid… He scored around
97-98 percent both in his tenth and twelfth Board-exams. Post that, he had
joined Symbiosis (Pune) to pursue Economics and done exceptionally well in his
first year. Now, in his second year, all was visibly going extremely well… His
parents, grandparents and relatives – who had always encouraged him to take it
easy – had never, ever sensed anything amiss in the life of this young man. He
had come home (Mumbai) for Diwali… Spent good time with his parents and
grandparents… He had spent a night at my student’s house… given him lots of
tips on what books to read, and how to plan in life etc. And, then, he had returned to his college
hostel in Pune, late that evening. As the hostel mess was closed for the night,
his parents ordered food for him through an App…
At night, around
2.30 or so, the phone rang and parents were given the tragic news… Their bright
son had jumped from the fifth floor of his hostel building, and ended his life!
No foul play,
nothing as external trigger… The trigger, it was clear, was internal!
My student only
missed that one class... The next one, he joined online; and, the one after that,
he came to attend in person…
There is sadness
in the family… There is incredible pain to deal with…
But, then, it’s
life. As Lucius Annaeus Seneca says, “Sometimes, even to live is an act of
courage.”
Prayers.
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic’s: Pixels/ 1. Kamaji Ojino 2. Tatiana Syrikova
Video: Zee Music Company
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