Gerald D'Cunha

  “Stillness is the language God speaks, and all else is a bad translation.” — Eckhart Tolle   I met this doctor friend of mine after many years when I rejoined the Tai Chi classes. He is a gentle soul; and his presence and speech, always, have a   calming effect on me. Every Sunday morning, after our Tai Chi session, we both sit in a nearby Mani’s restaurant for a simple cup of tea… During those few minutes there, we discuss anything that is simple and light… But, I don’t know if what we discussed this morning was simple and light… One of the relatives of my doctor friend (Age 56) is at a terminal stage of cancer. She and her husband have come (from Dubai) to stay at the residence of my doctor friend for undergoing Chemotherapy in one of the hospitals in Mumbai. “Presence of loved ones around can help the recovery process,” I said. “That’s true,” said my friend, “However, one can be lonely even when surrounded by several loved ones around. Inner issues ne...

Pic.: Amrita Jeurkar I t is more than a month now since our young-ones started attending this PD course. One of the most common concerns of all parents is the conflict with heir young children at home. That’s the concern of the young-ones, too. There is conflict at home… loud arguments, anger, frustration and sulking. Parents complain that their young children do not listen to them, they are insensitive. The children, on the other hand, think that their parents do not understand their feelings, they are insensitive. So, to help reduce this conflict, I make them speak on the subject, both, on stage and in GD’s. “When you go out with your friends, particularly at night, if parents want to know – where you go, why you go, with whom you go and at what time you will be back, is it fair on their part to do so… Or, is it too much of controlling?” I asked our young-ones to discuss in the GD, today. I was impressed with what I heard. Though, almost all of them voi...

Pic.: Neetu Sharma Sachdeva I insist that none of my students remains absent whenever I start a new chapter. “You will find it very difficult to build it afterwards,” I remind them, repeatedly, “Please don’t miss the basics.” Well, I, always, convey that in a very, very honest, firm and gentle way. I have, always, believed that appealing to the hearts is more effective than appealing to the heads. When hearts change, heads do, too. So, eight out of ten understand the significance of my words and they don’t miss the basics. They try their level best not to get dragged away by their peers’ or others’ priorities. Yes, the appeal to heart works. And, what about the remaining two? Am I compelled to use ‘force’ with them? Yes, they are still casual… still do not understand the value of my words. So, what works with them? I have tried force and failed! Our ego doesn’t let us drop our sense of control. We feel helpless – impotent –...

A friend of mine called me, yesterday. He sounded distressed. He had been having a rough time with his 16-year-old son, who is in eleventh standard, Science. Obviously, the reason for the conflict was that the young one, according to my friend, had not been serious about his studies and goal. “He can not go about this way,” my friend kept insisting, “it is Science and not Commerce or Arts… He will be nowhere!” So, the conflict. The arguments. The resistance. The ego-hassles. Confrontations… and, finally, some ‘physical treatment’! Apparently, nothing of these had worked for my friend… The young one was throwing more and more resistance… Things had just nosedived, and badly. The young one was the only son of my friend. I could imagine how isolating the experience was. As a teenager, for the son… as a parent, for the father.  “He will be nowhere!” How true is that? Science kids have to put in extra-ordinary effort; t...