HE WILL BE NOWHERE...




















A friend of mine called me, yesterday. He sounded distressed. He had been having a rough time with his 16-year-old son, who is in eleventh standard, Science. Obviously, the reason for the conflict was that the young one, according to my friend, had not been serious about his studies and goal. “He can not go about this way,” my friend kept insisting, “it is Science and not Commerce or Arts… He will be nowhere!”


So, the conflict. The arguments. The resistance. The ego-hassles. Confrontations… and, finally, some ‘physical treatment’!


Apparently, nothing of these had worked for my friend… The young one was throwing more and more resistance… Things had just nosedived, and badly.


The young one was the only son of my friend. I could imagine how isolating the experience was. As a teenager, for the son… as a parent, for the father. 


“He will be nowhere!”


How true is that?


Science kids have to put in extra-ordinary effort; they need to be extremely focused… Goal-driven. Agreed. But, even if this Youngman goofs-up, scores less… and, obviously, cannot get into Engineering or Medicine or whatever that a Science kid is traditionally expected to get into, yes, even if he can not get into any of these – can my friend declare – “He will be nowhere”?


Last evening, I allowed my friend to empty all his pent-up frustration. When he had done with, I told him this: “Your son will be somewhere… as you and I are, today.”


I did find a little disagreement from my friend, “But, we had taken Commerce… whereas, my son is doing his Science… and, you know how tough it is outside.”


“It was tough at our times, too, my friend,” I reminded my friend, “just learn to trust your son, the Good Lord… He will do well in life.”


The resistance had much come down. “I still feel he has to put in more efforts, he has to be serious… I am really scared,” said my friend.




“Can you let go your urge 


to be after him for a few days?” 


I asked my friend, “Just see what happens.”
 


There was silence…


"My friend, you are scared not because of your son’s casual approach to studies,” I told my friend, “You are scared because you don’t feel close to him when you are in conflict with him… It is very isolating, very lonely… very, very scary!”


In the prolonged silence from the other end, I heard my friend sobbing like a little child…


“Thank you so much,” he managed to tell, before it all ended…



GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Vinod Korgaonkar


Comments

Rashid Hussain said…
Wow! Touching! Rashid
October 10, 2012 at 3:45 PM
Akshat Rai said…
We fear losing our dear ones more than they losing their focus in life. A wake-up call!n Thanks.

Akshat
October 10, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

MUTHU KODI KAWARI HADA

Image
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi...
Read more

SELLING MIRRORS IN THE CITY OF THE BLIND

Image
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes,  gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is:  one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God?  How ...
Read more

"HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS NOT A FAIRY-TALE... IT IS A CHOICE"

Image
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin,  The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’…  Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or pain...
Read more
THE WILD, WAYSIDE FLOWERS
There is, always, something extra-ordinary in the wild, wayside flowers...