Gerald D'Cunha

    “Some say the world will end in fire; some say in ice.” Robert Frost C an we, humans, ever be free from forming opinions about people and events around us - about anything and everything, whether they are happening right next to us or oceans afar, or whether they are about living or dead beings? I don’t think, we are that evolved to be free from such a temptation… It seems, we get instinctively tuned into it. Yes, an opinion is something the human mind instinctively forms… Maybe, it must’ve come in us due to the ‘original sin’… So, blame it on Adam and his wife, Eve… It’s all because of the sin they committed, the original sin – that irresistible temptation… Sounds nice… We are born with this temptation called ‘opinions’… But, then, I wonder: Despite a thousand opinions popping up inside our heads, can we be discreet when it comes to voicing them out – yes, loud in the open? Mercifully, we can… We are bestowed with that freedom of choice… That, we needn’t b...

“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.” ―  Marcus Aurelius ,  Meditations T he ability to remain calm and composed in all situations in life is called ‘Equanimity’. Well, I have a long way to go before I can reach there! But, I am trying my best… Along my way to this place called ‘equanimity’, I have recognized some of my roadblocks… At times, I tend to take others’ problems on my shoulders… At times, I worry about ‘outside situations’ which are beyond my control – wars, earthquakes, plane crash, hurricanes, riots, gang rapes and gang wars, elections, political and religious discord… At times, I take praise to my head and abuse to my heart… I take them personally… At times, I fall prey to propaganda… It makes me take sides, become biased...

Pic:. Anima D'Cunha Y ears ago, when I had decided to do something about my poor English, one of the things I did – and found very effective – was telling a nice story in two tenses… the Present and the Past. Over the years, I have helped hundreds of people, who were earnest about improving their English, with the same method… Yes, write a nice story down in both the tenses… and, then, tell it to someone! The  story below is one of my favorite childhood stories… I love to call it the story of ‘THREE DONKEYS’!!! THE STORY OF ‘THREE DONKEYS’ PAST: One day, a father and his son went to the marketplace to sell some goods. Their donkey had carried the goods for them. By noon, they had sold off their goods and they were on their way home. As goods were not there, the son was sitting on the donkey. A passerby saw this and exclaimed, “How bad… The young man is enjoying the ride and the poor old-father is made to walk in the hot sun!” On...

The other day, when I told someone that I had watched the critically-acclaimed film, ’Ship of Theseus’, his reaction was immediate: “Did you watch it? It is a strain on your brain, everybody says.” “Well, not everybody says so,” I said to my friend, and asked him, “Have you watched it?” “No,” my friend quipped, “I don’t find sense in adding more stress by paying for it.” I haven’t watched ‘Chennai Express’… and, I won’t. Probably, if my friend asks me if I have watched this Madras-Mumbai pot-boiler, my answer would be something like this: “No; I don’t like to go to a cinema hall leaving my brain behind!” Both of us, my friend and I, are on two sides of the same spectrum… both of us have highly preconceived ideas… our respective prejudices… We have allowed others to influence us, chosen to operate from hearsay, past experiences, personal biases and so on… In my case, I have a pre-conceived notion that SRK overacts… I don’t like his dialogue...

In many of us, the need to win an argument is more compelling than the need to win a friend! Of the many attachments we have in life, the attachment to our opinions, often, seems be the strongest one. Our compelling need to win our arguments – prove ourselves right, score a point – yes, this stems from our innate attachment to our own opinions.  It is difficult to get off a tiger’s back, once we have climbed it! Our tendency to argue with others – ironically, most of them are with our own dear and near ones – just reminds us of this tiger-safari… It is sensible to leave the tiger alone… I come across this man very regularly. He is highly qualified, holds a doctorate and a high post in a multinational company… earns a handsome package; his wife, even more qualified, earns more than her husband. I know both of them. What puzzles me is this: the husband has an opinion on every subject, every event, every person… yes...

In my last Post, I had narrated the story of a little bird who tried desperately to advise a monkey. The monkey was an idiot. But, he thought the bird was an idiot. In the end, it was clear to us: We should give advice to others… only when it is asked for. Else, we end up inviting trouble for us – the grave one, some times – as the little bird did. Today, I have another popular story to tell. The story of ‘three donkeys’. One day, a father and son loaded goods on the back of their donkey and went to the market to sell. By the afternoon, they had sold all the goods and they were returning home. The loving father had made his young son sit on the donkey on their way home.  They had barely traveled some distance, when a passerby saw them and exclaimed: “What a pity! The young son is enjoying on donkey’s back and the poor-old father is made to walk in the hot Sun!” When the father and son heard this, immediately, the son came down and the ...

Why do you write so much every day? What do you get from it? Who do you think read it? Why do you waste your time? Why can’t you put your writings in books and sell, make big money? Youngsters are not interested in your ‘serious’ stuff. Why are you not on Facebook? Do your wife and son read what you write?  A day doesn’t pass without at least one or two these kind of questions and suggestions coming my way… Yes, from some of my closest people. They love me so much… that they really want me to make 'big' money and 'big' name from my writings… they want me to write to the gallery ; and ,yes, they don 't like to see me 'wasting' my time! And, I forgot the important thing: they want me to write only those things which my wife and son would read! I have been writing like this – in my diaries and now on my Blog – for over three decades, now… ever since I landed in this beautiful city.  Why do I write so much?  Because, ...