Gerald D'Cunha

Pic.: Azriel D'Souza Y ears ago, when I had decided to do something about my poor English, one of the things I did – and found very effective – was telling a nice story in two tenses… the Present and the Past. Over the years, I have helped hundreds of people, who were earnest about improving their English, with the same method… Yes, write a nice story down in both the tenses… and, then, tell it to someone… I was in my early twenties when I read this ‘inspiring’ story in one of Dr. Wayne Dyer’s books.  In fact, his book started with this story! I have loved this story, ever since… WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DRINK TOO MUCH PAST: O nce, a very famous motivational-speaker – call him a ‘Life-coach’ – had come to transform the lives of a group of chronic alcoholics. It was believed that the man, with his charm and power, could compel the addicts to kick the bottle once and for all… So, our miracle-man stood before the group of alcoholics with...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty H ow another person – no matter who he or she may be your life – perceives you, is not important you... How you perceive yourself, it, really, is. Allowing ourselves to behave on the basis of how others think of us, is the surest way to the hell called depression! It is becoming clearer to me, as each day passes by, that the most important lesson to learn in life is to have a strong and healthy opinion about our own selves. Simply put – a very healthy and strong self-regard. Most of our miseries can be dealt with just by this one endowment in life. A bitter – rather funny – reality in life is: you might be the most genuine human being, a real gem. But, another person – and, I am not talking about any passerby in your life – might think you are the worst creature on this earth... a mistake, a disaster, a demon! So, unless you learn to live by your own light – the light from your own healthy opinion of yourself – it is going to be to...

Pic.: Manoj Nair L ast evening, a young girl, who had just entered her final-year degree, called me. She had been a topper in her college all through. But, she was under a great stress. The reason? Well, she told me that she found  she was not liked by most of her classmates and teachers. “Is it true, or only an assumption?” I asked her. “I think, it is true, sir... They really don’t like me,” she said. “Out of the hundred, how many do you think, don’t like you?” I questioned. “All, except may be two,” she responded. “And teachers?” “All, except two out of five.” “But, tell me, dear, why do you think they don’t like you... You are such a nice performer.” “That’s why, sir... I think, they are jealous of me.” So, now what you want to do, my friend?” “Sir, I have only ten days to decide on whether to continue with this college, or change it... I am confused, stressed out.” “Well, how sure are you that the next ...

"Be not upset of something there, and seek not something not there." B hushan, a dear friend of mine, suggested this morning that I wrote on this line. I have read this line a couple of times ever since Bhushan sent it to me. But, each time I read it, like a mirage, it eludes me! I come close to it; it escapes! But then, every thing in life is a perception… Two people may see two different things when they try to perceive the same thing… Just like those six blind men having their own experiences on touching the elephant! So, let me go through Bhushan’s line for arriving at my own ‘elephant experience’. Here I go. “Be not upset of something there.” And seek not something not there.” When I seek something, I form the web of attachment around me. In attachment, there is this seed of fear of losing what I am attached to… With this fear come my insecurity, sorrow and pain. What we seek is just an illusion: We hope to reach a ...

“But, I preferred my life to be this way," she said,  "to be like a Mayflower… and bloom in my own time, and in my own way.” “And, in your own garden,” I added. She was a mother of two married-daughters… Both the daughters were highly educated, married to wonderful husbands and were, now, settled in America. The mother told me that she wanted to study more and settle in America… but, due to her circumstances, she had to come to terms it. She couldn't complete her graduation and she couldn't seek an employment… nor could she settle aboard. So, this mother did the next best thing: she created circumstances for her own two daughters… kept reminding them of the dream she had to come to terms with and motivated them to pursue it, if they wished. Fortunately, both did. Both, now, are Doctorates and have amazing families to live with, abroad. “I had this wonderful opportunity to go abroad and settle with my daughter...

I saw this FB message, this morning: “Good news: People are living longer. Bad news: You can’t pick up which ones!” Eashaan, a dear student of mine, had sent it to me. “O boy!” I clicked on the ‘Like’ without even a second thought, “How did you read my mind?” That means, I am not happy at all to watch ‘bad people’ now living longer… It is a ‘bad news’ to me…! Is that not so? Have I been asking in my mind, all in frustration and bitterness: “Why does God allow the ‘bad people’ – my tormentors – to live long? Yes, why don’t all the nasty, cruel, harmful and destructive people in my life – in this world – die early? I do not know if Eashaan is as ‘serious’ as I am… I hope, he is… For, all down the ages, the idea of ‘Good people’ and ‘Bad people’ had been a matter of our perception. The one who is ‘bad’ in my eyes is ‘good’ in his own… and, if there are a thousand people vouching for me, there are thousand doing the s...

    “There are people who love you all the time… May be they can’t love you the way you understand love… But, they love you the way they know to love.” I just received this ‘Good-morning’ message from my brother Vivek. And, with that, I received the instant spark to write this Post. We keep getting messages like the one I have just received. Most of them just pass by as ships passing by the night…! We rarely pay attention to them… They go unnoticed. I like the analogy of a sunrise and a sunset. Everyday the glorious Sun goes up and comes down. But, even though I am able to witness this stunning beauty right through my window, - every dawn and every dusk - do I do it? Instead, as my fellow-beings always do, I too travel all the way to Kanyakumari, to sit there on the Memorial Rock, and wait for the majestic Sun to show himself! The Sun is always there… going up and coming down, every day… The sight is as glorious as ever… The...

Everything changes in life,  Yet, some things don’t! The light to the world outside  Has, always, come from the Sun, Even, at night, the Moon shines  Only because the Sun is kind, The Stars, which make my night beautiful,  Are also the Sun’s siblings… The wind, which blows as I go about,  Comes from the distant seas and mountains, And they, too, are Sun’s kin and kith! Someone said, this morning: “The world has changed,”… I said to him: “No, it hasn’t”. Man may not live in caves, anymore, He may not use stones, anymore, to do his trade… He may no longer cover his waist with leaves, And write his notes with feathers… Or, light his fire with stones. Yes, he doesn’t need elephants to fight, Doesn’t carry news by scrolls..! Kings are gone, Kingdoms have fallen, The bows and arrows have long been left behind, God doesn’t send Prophets...