IF I AM COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF, I AM COMFORTABLE WITH THE WORLD

Pic.: Manoj Nair

Last evening, a young girl, who had just entered her final-year degree, called me. She had been a topper in her college all through. But, she was under a great stress. The reason? Well, she told me that she found  she was not liked by most of her classmates and teachers.

“Is it true, or only an assumption?” I asked her.

“I think, it is true, sir... They really don’t like me,” she said.

“Out of the hundred, how many do you think, don’t like you?” I questioned.

“All, except may be two,” she responded.

“And teachers?”

“All, except two out of five.”

“But, tell me, dear, why do you think they don’t like you... You are such a nice performer.”

“That’s why, sir... I think, they are jealous of me.”

So, now what you want to do, my friend?”

“Sir, I have only ten days to decide on whether to continue with this college, or change it... I am confused, stressed out.”

“Well, how sure are you that the next college you walk into will welcome you with open arms?”

“I don’t know, sir.”

“Then, what is sensible?”

“A known devil is better than an unknown angel! Dear, my teacher used to tell us very often,” I told her lightheartedly. But, then, the next moment, I added philosophically, “Remember, my dear, wherever you go, you carry yourself!”

Luckily, she knew the meaning of this gem. That, unless she changed the way she ‘perceived’ the behavior of her classmates and teachers towards her, she would not be able to see any change anywhere else.. Yes, to the new college, she would carry her ‘old’ mind!

A stone fell off this young-one’s head, last evening... “Thank-you sir... Thank-you so much,” she jumped from the other end, “I feel so relieved, now!”

My heart smiled thinking of her... How often I do the same thing! How often we all do it! If I am not able to find peace here, I won’t find it out there... If I cannot adjust with my mates and teachers here, forget about it there... “Hello, stay here, right in this college and grow up. That would be a greater qualification than your final-year degree!” I had reminded our young-girl.

“Yes sir, I agree,” was her response.

This morning, when I sighted one of the elderly gentlemen who lived in the bulidng where my institute is situated, I greeted him from quite a long distance behind him. When he turned back, he was very happy to stop and talk to me.

“Sir, I am seeing you after many days; is everything okay?” I was referring to his wife, who has been undergoing cancer treatment.

“Yes, yes, everything is fine; wife is showing good progress,” he said, “I had been to my daughter’s place in Indore.”

Then, he held my hand and said something, which made me a lot humbler, happier and yes, cry, too, inside my office. “Gerry sir, you have been here at this place for nearly thirty years,” he said with lots of honesty, “But let me tell you... from a small child to an elderly person, all like your nature... There is something inside you which has made you live here, like this, for so long, without any controversy, animosity, jealousy or whatsoever.”

I quickly changed the subject.

Those words were not just some simple platitudes... He meant them in his every pore... and, I felt a lot rooted and blessed.

“In life, if this is not happiness and wealth, what else is?” I cried inside, “Thank-you Lord for helping me to be this way. Keep me so... Keep me, always!”

In the afternoon, in my training session, I had shared this episode with the young-students. “If that is what can make you happy and strong, please ask God to give more of it,” I had concluded.

“If I am comfortable with myself, I am comfortable with the world,” we had a big poster in our hall-room...

Yes, luckily, I was a young-man, then!

GERALD D’CUNHA