THE TEST OF OUR GOODNESS






Pic.: Swati Gangurde

The man next to me is not – and he can not be - like me. If I am polite and gentle, he may not be. If I am very patient, he may not be. If I like to be dependable, he may not be... If I am good-mannered, he may not be...

That’s world... The imperfect world we live in!

Sometimes, I ask: Why should I be patient with my neighbor when he is not? Why should I show courtesy when he doesn’t? Why should I greet his reactive behavior with my proactive one? Yes, why can’t I treat him with his own medicine - Tit-for-tat... An- eye-for-an-eye?

But, the more I ask these questions to myself, the more silent I become... I reason out: our goodness can be tested only in an imperfect world... The nastiness of others can be handled more effectively by our assertive gentleness... That, I need not stoop to someone’s level to bring peace within my soul...  

My anger is my reaction to my own inefficiencies... When I constantly react to other people, it means, I am not comfortable with my own self... It is a kind of defense mechanism I build to over-up my own inefficiencies... Yes, when I am constantly impatient and reactive, I am operating from my low self-esteem...

Last afternoon, a ten-year-old kid was brought here, by his parents, to be enrolled for our up-coming PD course. I fell in love with this boy at first sight! He was well-groomed, already... Throughout those twenty minutes, when the kid was in my office with his parents, he conversed with me confidently, very assertively, gently and respectfully... so much so, I wondered: “What would I contribute to this kid - he is so good, so polished, already?”

But, there was something the parents deeply worried about their ten-year-old. “Sir, every teacher adores him. The Principal is fond of him. His tuition teachers are so happy about him,” they told me, privately, “And, that’s where the problem lies: many students don’t like him just because he is liked by teachers and the Principal. They are rough with him... they try to bully him, act nasty with him... And, this has been affecting his confidence, lately.”

Prince Siddhartha left his royal palace and wandered for twelve-long years in the wilderness in order to become ‘the Buddha’ – an enlightened one. But, even after becoming an enlightened soul, he, finally, had to come back to the same unenlightened and imperfect world he had quit from!

So, what was the moral of the story?

Finding my own peace in the thick of others’ nastiness, impatience and intolerance... is what my spiritual quest all about... The world will not change just because I have... As the Zen wisdom goes:

“Before enlightenment, I was cutting trees and carrying water...
After enlightenment, I am cutting trees and carrying water!”

The ten-year-old is too small to decode the essence of this Zen pearl... We need to encourage him to be good and assertive, anyway... yes, good and assertive with the ones who do not like him... Be gentle with those who are not... For, as Solomon Gabriol said:

“The test of good manners is to be patient with the bad ones.”

Good manners with only the good-mannered ones?

“No beta... with the bad-mannered, too!”

GERALD D’CUNHA


Comments

Anonymous said…
The goodness wins, finally.

- jitesh Narang
April 4, 2014 at 7:05 PM
Unknown said…
Truly Inspirational.
April 8, 2014 at 5:54 PM
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