Gerald D'Cunha

  “The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; and, the willingness to learn is a choice.” Brian Herbert   “I am like this only”… Well, we all are ‘like this onlys’… There is a deep-rooted nature in all of us. You may be a born-extrovert, while I may be a born-introvert. So, this innate nature, I believe, is what makes us say - ‘I am like this only’… Shy people, I know, will, always, remain shy. Their basic nature gets formed in their mothers’ wombs. So, when they realize what they are born with, it becomes easier for them to work around it… I said, ‘to work around it’… I never said, ‘to do away with it.’ For, I firmly believe, that, while the social skills can be learnt and acquired, they can’t be replaced by completely uprooting our innate nature… Susan Cain describes this inner plight of my type of shy souls like this: “Introverts may have (acquired) strong social skills and (learnt) to enjoy parties and business meetings; but, after...

  “An attitude of entitlement is inversely related to one of gratitude.” Pete Wilson   E very time I use the expression, “You can’t be grateful and unhappy at the same time,” a thought passes through my mind: “Do I know what it really means?” One of my dear friends, often, likes to remind me, “Our problem is not ‘knowledge’; our problem is ‘implementation.” I, certainly, know what a powerful antidote ‘gratitude’ can be for ‘unhappiness’; but, when it comes to ‘living in a constant state of gratitude’ – it is really not easy. Like most around me, I, too, quite regularly, slip into the complaining mode – grumbling about what is missing in my life rather than appreciating and be thankful for what is there in my life – yes, this comes more naturally. Thus, to shake me hard from this kind of attitude of a lack of gratitude, I truly feel, that I need to come out of my own shell of self-pity and entitlement state-of-mind, and see around me to check how worse it is for m...

Pic.: Malabika Ganguly   The postman just handed me with quite-a-packed envelope. It was from ‘imfpa’ – Indian Mouth and Foot Painting Artists. Yellow in color, on the front-side of this envelope was written: “Handicapped in body, but not in spirit’! I had some other subject in mind to write on, today. But, the moment I opened the pack, I knew it had to be this subject… The pack contained: beautifully designed all-occasion greeting cards, book marks, gift tags, and gift envelopes, comprising 17 designs selected from some of the finest original paintings done by mouth-and-foot artists of India. There was a touching letter written by one of these artists with her picture. The young smiling-girl from Kerala, Swapna Augustine, has no limbs… she is shown painting… holding a brush in between her toes! The letter gently reminds us that these unfortunate artistes had lost their hands either due to accident, illness or birth defect. “Have you ever...

Some one asked me a while ago, “What motivates you to write every day?” “To motivate myself to live well,” I answered, without even blinking. “But, do you need to keep doing it, repeatedly, every day, over and over again?” he wanted to know. I told him what Zig Ziglar had famously said: “People, often, say that motivation doesn’t last; Well, neither does bathing… That’s why we recommend it daily.” Now, as I quoted the guru of motivation, I remembered how a priest, in my college days, had hammered into our young-skulls, when one of us had asked him, “Father, why do we have to pray every day, over and over again?” “Why don’t you ask the same thing about eating?” the priest had shut us up, once and for all. “One is the food for your hungry stomach, the other is the food for your hungry soul,” we were told, sternly. Today, when I quoted Zig Ziglar, what I tried to convey to the one who had asked me that q...

One of the mightiest breakthroughs in our lives comes when we find ourselves.  I am talking about, here, about our vocation – our calling – in life. Scores of parents keep complaining about their young-ones: “Sir, he has no interest in studies,” “She gets carried away by her friends,” “He is wasting his time,” “She is wasting her talents,” “How can we make him decide what he wants do in life?” “Why is she not listening to us?”… Where are these complaints coming from? Why, even though a young-one knows that it is about his or her own life, about his or her own success and happiness… yes, in spite of knowing it so well, why do they cause such anxiety in their parents’ minds? Yesterday, parents of three young boys met me through the day… Yes, with the very same anxiety: “Sir, please do something!” These young men are lost.  All that is needed is to help them, in some way or the other, find themselves.  Y...

An hour ago, a young girl – a twelfth-standard student of mine - was on line. She had ‘a doubt’ and she wanted me to help her... I did that over the phone. But, madam’s Pandora Box opened and doubts started popping out one after another… till I gently said to her this: “Madam, enough now. This way, you will go nowhere; in fact, I am doing more harm to you… I have taught you for two full years – in eleventh as well as twelfth – I have revised your chapters twice, held so many tests… and, still you seem to cling on to me. Stop that now… Trust in your abilities, take a few risks… and explore on your own. That’s the only way you can feel confident. In no other way, ma’am. Please do that, right away.” I hung the phone! Tomorrow will be the exam. I really do not know if she understood what I have said… There was a choice before me: to keep helping her with her doubts till her Pandora Box would be empty. But, just after three or four doubts, I stro...

A parent had come to seek my help, this morning. Apparently, his daughter, who studied in eleventh standard, had failed in all the subjects! “I had paid Rs.40,000/- and enrolled her in   so and so classes,” he grumbled angrily, “What is the use if a student fails like this?”   Now, this distraught soul had come to enroll his beloved daughter in my classes, with the hope that some miracle might take place here!  I heard him out… allowed his steam to go off his pressure cooker. Then, I told him in most gentle manner a very nice old-story. One evening, a merchant was returning home sitting on his camel. He had made good business through the day and was very happy. When they approached a roadside mosque, he decided to thank Allah for giving him a profitable day… So, he got off the camel, left it just outside the mosque and went inside the mosque to pray.   Once inside, the merchant thanked Allah profusely. He als...

Sagar * sent a message, this morning: “Sir, I am at Siddhivinayak temple… So, can’t come for the PD class.” I said in my mind, “May Lord Ganesh bless you.” Actually, I meant: “Lord Ganesh alone can save you, dear!” Yes, I am a mortal… I can’t! I have tried… tried hard and long… I can’t. Why? Why do I say, “I can’t?” Well, Lord Ganesh knows it pretty well. I hoped, this morning, that He would send my student, Sagar, back putting some sense into his thick skull. Two days back: “Sir, my best friend’s mom is in ICU… I have come to be with my friend. Sorry, I can’t attend today.” A day before that: “Sir, I am out on some urgent ‘personal’ work… Don’t think I can make to the class. Sorry.” Go another two days back: “Sir, I am really not well. Excuse me. I will attend regularly from next class.” Like this, almost, ninety percent of the course has gone for a toss. Only ten percent is now left. Of this, I am sure, ninety perc...