HOW LONG CAN I LIVE ON SYMPATHY?

 

“An attitude of entitlement

is inversely related to one of gratitude.”

Pete Wilson

 

Every time I use the expression, “You can’t be grateful and unhappy at the same time,” a thought passes through my mind: “Do I know what it really means?”

One of my dear friends, often, likes to remind me, “Our problem is not ‘knowledge’; our problem is ‘implementation.”

I, certainly, know what a powerful antidote ‘gratitude’ can be for ‘unhappiness’; but, when it comes to ‘living in a constant state of gratitude’ – it is really not easy. Like most around me, I, too, quite regularly, slip into the complaining mode – grumbling about what is missing in my life rather than appreciating and be thankful for what is there in my life – yes, this comes more naturally.

Thus, to shake me hard from this kind of attitude of a lack of gratitude, I truly feel, that I need to come out of my own shell of self-pity and entitlement state-of-mind, and see around me to check how worse it is for many of them… how small my own problems are… how so many out there live so gracefully, carrying their crosses with acceptance and gratitude. Yes, that’s enough for me to see my own problems in perspective…

There are bigger problems in life… Much, much bigger and worse than what I am facing in my life. There are many, many out there, who live a life of dignity, despite massive challenges in their lives. There will always be something missing in my life, but, at the same time, there will always be treasures I fail to notice…

One thing is for sure: When I complain, I draw sympathy. But, how long can I live on other’s sympathy?

Some days ago, a woman called me up from Bangalore. She was a single mother and she wanted me to help her son for a month (online) for his twelfth-standard CBSE exams (Accountancy subject). The challenge for me was this: the boy had a considerable learning disability and had a writer to write his exams. CBSE portion, as most know, is vast and I had already finished teaching and revising. The mother sounded very graceful and earnest, which made me accept the challenge. To be honest, I get immense satisfaction when I teach young kids like this boy… It teaches me patience and empathy… It brings in gratitude in my life… It gives me a feeling of ‘give-back time’… “If you are a teacher, teach these kids,” I hear a stern voice inside me.

When I had some health issues, a couple of years ago, I had sufficient insurance. So, I could get the best treatment in a very good hospital under very good doctors. As I was lying there on my bed, overwhelmed by regular bouts of sadness, my mind would take be back to the time when I would visit the municipal hospital where someone’s mother was spending her last days… Both her kidneys had failed and she was unable to breathe even… It was heart-breaking to see this woman and so many other patients lying on the messy floor of that overcrowded municipal-hospital… No beds… no hygiene… no money. She died in some days. I survived. My sadness would much subside whenever this scene would play before my mind… “Enough of grumbling… Thank God for the treasures you have been blessed with!”

This is how it is, Sir… Grumbling is easy; being grateful is not. As the old saying reminds us, in life, we will keep complaining about not having shoes, till we see someone not having feet at all…

Two full years Pandemic has taught many of us nothing!

Am I complaining again?

 

GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic.: Pixabay

Videos: 1. Dare to do Motivation 2. The TalkWatcher