Gerald D'Cunha

“Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is.” Rollo May A couple of days ago, when I had blogged on the plight of migrant workers – particularly those who were mowed down on the railway tracks in Aurangabad, a dear friend of mine had said this in her comment: “In case we can be of help together in any way, let me know… Lockdown will continue for quite some time… I am sure, we can contribute somewhere, somehow. Helplessness, perhaps, is one of the worst feelings ever… And this news made me feel so helpless!” Ever since the lockdown was announced, I haven’t stepped out of the door… Should I dramatize through our PM’s analogy – 'I haven’t crossed the Laxman Rekha’! Why is that? Well, I may try to get some sympathy, citing my recent brush with Cancer and kidney issues. But, the truth is this: I am privileged to be inside my house for all this lockdown period… I have my wife and young son to ensure, that I, along with my aged and aili...

' “In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering  at the momen  it finds a meaning,  s uch as the meaning of a sacrifice.” Dr. Victor Frankl in ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ O ne book many must be reading today, when we are all locked down in our homes, is ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ by Dr. Victor Frankl. Dr. Victor Frankl was a Neurologist and Psychiatrist. Being a Jew, he and his family were thrown into the Nazi Concentration Camps. While his family perished, he somehow survived the Holocaust, to tell us the remarkable lessons, later, in his path-breaking book – ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, and through his subsequent healing therapy called ‘Logo-therapy’. Dr. Frankl’s book is about the ultimate triumph of human spirit. It’s about hope in the face of absolute darkness. Yes, to paraphrase its essence: “Man can be stripped of everything he possesses, but not his ability to choose his response… Between the stimulus and ac...

Pic.: Usha Prasadh ”If the room is dark for twenty years, it doesn’t take another twenty years to bring light in.” - Sri Sri Ravishankar T here is no direct road to heaven… No short-cut, no express-ways or flyovers… and, certainly there are no ‘freeways’… The road to heaven ‘has to be’ through this world – through its plateaus, plains and mountains… through its jungles and deserts, rivers and seas… through its conflicts, sorrows, joys and  jubilation … None of, here, wants life to be tough. But, the life ‘is’ tough. All of us want our problems to go, once and for all. But, they don’t. The more we try to shut ourselves from the problems and sufferings of this world, the more and more they come to haunt us… Closing our eyes to the reality of this world will not help us… Opening our eyes to them, will! Prince Siddhartha’s father, the King, did not want his little son to see and experience the problems and sufferings of the wo...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” - Friedrich Nietzsche I was talking to someone on phone just a while ago. I heard him say, “Our character is shaped through the tests we pass through in life.” The context he was talking to me had nothing to do with the particular tests I was silently going through as I was talking to him. But, then, what he said – and which I knew was so true – seemed as if he was trying to help me deal with my present pain and suffering… Well, I, unwittingly said ‘pain and suffering’. Yes, like so many people around me, I, too, mixed them up, in my ignorance. Pain and suffering are different. I have written on it many times before… Pain is inevitable in life… I do not have choice on it. But, to suffer or not to suffer because of pain – yes, I do have a choice on it. When I resist pain, I suffer. When I ‘consciously’ accept my pain, I am librated of my sufferin...

Pic.: Natrajan Ramsubramani I f we want to achieve anything in life, accomplish any task, we need to be determined to achieve it. We need to pursue it with a single-minded focus and a passionate heart. Ever since I stepped out of my college, I have been very alive to this inner chemistry of achievement. I know, that the starting point of any achievement in life is our burning desire to achieve it, coupled with our total commitment to do it… with passion and  persistence . When we are young, the success slogans such as “A winner never quits and a quitter never wins,” get into our system like a war-cry. “Thou shall never, ever quit” – yes, we take it like a commandment from God… the God of Success. My belief in the above success philosophy hasn’t changed at all. I know, for sure, that, to achieve anything in life, we need to be determined and passionate to achieve it. We need to commit ourselves fully and passionately go about it with loads and loads o...

Pic .: Ivan Mathias A friend of mine came to meet me, late last evening. She looked very disturbed. After working for eighteen years in a reputed multinational-company, among the ninety employees laid off by her company, she happened to be one. Her immediate lady-boss, who had, apparently, made my friend’s life miserable, was one more! Before joining this company, my friend had worked for many years in two other companies... But, now, at 46, she wasn't so confident about her future. My friend is a divorcee and lives alone with her ailing mother. Father had passed away about fifteen years ago, and, ever since then, life has been a very rough ride for her. Mother has major health complications, and needs constant attention. Money for mother’s treatment is a huge worry for my friend. “Sir, I have been taking all the ‘crap’ from my sadist boss for last five years only because my company took care of my mother’s health-care,” my friend told me yesterday, ...

Pic.: Madan Manik O n many mornings, I meet an elderly lady, near my classes, with her 11-year-old granddaughter. She waits till the little-one’s autowalah comes and picks her up. “Bye beta ,” the grandma is now on her way back home… I am inspired by this elderly woman. I am told, that when she was still young and married, with her two daughters and a son, her husband had died in a road accident. So, the struggle for this woman began quite early in life. As years rolled by, one daughter completed her studies and got married to a man in London, and, soon, settled there. The other daughter, after her studies, got married to a businessman in India. But, marriage failed, and, eventfully, she came to live with her mother here. The only son of the woman, when he was young, got heavily into drugs and ruined his life. Under such a condition, he was married to an innocent village girl, and, understandably, the marriage ended up in a tragedy: the girl killed herse...

“The best way to bring down our suffering in life is to carry our crosses… gladly!” I came across this line, this morning, on a waste paper!  I stood there, still, for a while… and read it, and read it again and again and again: “The best way to bring down our suffering in life   is to carry our crosses… gladly!” “So simple!” I really felt like as  though I had just discovered a new continent! As a small child, every time I resisted the work given to me by mom, she would scream: “If you do your work happily, you will have more time to play!” This meant: if I resisted more – complained, grumbled, argued, fought and postponed – I would simply add more trouble in my life… waste away my time… ruin my joy… and, yes, I would have less time to play, enjoy. My stress would deprive me of my joy, my playfulness. The rule had applied everywhere - from my school homework to every other wo...