THE 'WAY' OF THE CROSS

Pic.: Ivan Mathias

A friend of mine came to meet me, late last evening. She looked very disturbed. After working for eighteen years in a reputed multinational-company, among the ninety employees laid off by her company, she happened to be one. Her immediate lady-boss, who had, apparently, made my friend’s life miserable, was one more! Before joining this company, my friend had worked for many years in two other companies... But, now, at 46, she wasn't so confident about her future.

My friend is a divorcee and lives alone with her ailing mother. Father had passed away about fifteen years ago, and, ever since then, life has been a very rough ride for her. Mother has major health complications, and needs constant attention. Money for mother’s treatment is a huge worry for my friend.

“Sir, I have been taking all the ‘crap’ from my sadist boss for last five years only because my company took care of my mother’s health-care,” my friend told me yesterday, “Else, I would have walked off long ago.”

So, now, when some major operations of her mother have been, already, scheduled, my friend has been struck with this blow! Obviously, there are these reactions: “Oh, not again!”... “Why me, again?”... “Why now?”

For five long years, my friend had ‘taken all the crap’ from her ‘sadist’ lady-boss! She said, that, she would feel the heaviness in her body right while getting off the bed each morning... But, she would keep praying till she reached her office, “God, just for today, help me bear my burden... Help me not to speak and behave in an undesired way.” She had anger, hurt and humiliation bottled within her, so much, that she feared it might explode, any moment... But, mercifully, it did not!

And, now, it was ‘destined’ that she and her nasty-boss should part ways, together... for better or for worse...

Well, the question is: Who has destined so? If God has, why so? Why has He picked her, again... and, why now?

Yes, even though my friend had gone through these familiar outbursts in her mind, and even though anxiety and pain was writ large on her face, she wasn't filled with blame, self-pity or hate... She was humble and hopeful...

In fact, in the midst of our discussion, I had called another friend of mine, who ran a recruitment firm and got them speak to each other. He had asked her to mail her resume, and visit this morning...

I am praying!

Here, on this earth, Life comes for all of us with our respective shares of problems and struggles. Whether we like it or not, and whether we accept it or not, we will have our respective crosses to carry through our own Calvarys. We have no choice there... No choice when it comes to choosing our burdens, struggles and pain... We only have a choice when it comes to our ‘reactions’ to our crosses... How we view our burdens, struggles and pain. Our suffering is the consequence of our reactions, our resistance, our denials. And, we do have a choice there... Yes, as the wise words tell us:

“In life, pain is inevitable; but, suffering is, always, optional!”

Today, as a strange co-incidence, I came across two things, which have left me a lot moved. Both have helped me to calm down incredibly... and look up to the skies with gratitude. One of them was this passage from Rob Bell, a Christian pastor:

“Our tendency in the midst of suffering is to turn on God. To get angry and bitter and shake our fist at the sky and say, "God, you don't know what it's like! You don't understand! You have no idea what I'm going through. You don't have a clue how much this hurts." 

The cross is God's way of taking away all of our accusations, excuses, and arguments.

The cross is God taking on flesh and blood and saying, ‘Me too’!” 

The other one is a short video clip shared by two of my cousins, who live abroad - Ivan and his sister Marina. It was about the plight of a poor family in one of the remote villages near Mangalore. ‘Daiji World TV’ is a popular news channel among the Mangalorean Christians. I couldn't hold back my tears while I was watching this; and, yes, I was led to my knees to write this Post, immediately...

You may not need the language of our tongues to understand what the story of this family conveys. Please watch it... And, if possible, do reach out...

GERALD D’CUNHA