Gerald D'Cunha

F rom where does our empathy come? Often, when I express my empathy to someone, I suddenly become aware of the ‘space’ from where my feelings come. I can recognize, unmistakably, whether I am deeply moved by the other person’s plight or I am doing just a lip service. R.I.P. Deepest condolences. Sorry to hear the news. Get well soon. Wish you/her/him a speedy recovery. Don’t worry… everything will be alright. Is there anything I can do? Any help, please let me know. Anything for you… Any time. How are you? How is your mom/dad/son/daughter/grandma/grandpa etc? How’s your business going on? How is your job going on? You will get a new job… Keep faith. I will pray for you. I have expressed of these statements at some times or the other, to some one or the other. At times, I have been just superficial and the words have just come mechanically, without a deep connect… More through a formality. Yes, just a lip service. But, many tim...

O ne of my prized possessions is the little book ‘ANYWAY: The Paradoxical Commandments’. written by Dr. Kent M. Keith. In the introduction, the author narrates the interesting story behind the creation of this inspirational book. He says, decades earlier, when he was a student leader, he had penned down the ten Paradoxical Commandments starting with: ‘People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered. Love them anyway.’ Dr. Kent went on to become a famous author, speaker and motivator. But, his Paradoxical Commandments were nowhere to appear in his talks or speeches ever since he first wrote them. Those were not the days of social media – Facebook, WhatsApp, twitter, Instagram and so on… So, like all good things (and bad things) did, his ‘ten commandments’ were being circulated quietly by those who liked them. Years later, a dear one of Dr. Kent had found the Commandments on the wall of Mother Teresa’s Kolkata home (Missionaries of Charity), displayed prominen...

I admire people who can create magic with words – yes, the same words that are available to you and me, to all. Call it ‘Creative-writing skill’, ‘Gift of imagination’, ‘Gift of story-telling’, ‘Word play’, ‘Word recipe’, Spinning-a-yarn’… call it by whatever name you want; but, like any creative person around us – a poet, a song writer, a playwright,  a dance choreographer, a lyricist, a chef, a mathematician, a scientist, a stand-up comedian, a photographer, a film-maker, an ad-maker or a magician - this person, too, can create magic with his words.  Yes, give him the same bowl of words, and he can be the alchemist! And, I love that… I was fortunate to meet one such person, today, in one of the reputed Mumbai colleges, where I had gone to conduct a session for senior teachers. Her name was Mrs. Shubha Mukherjee and she taught English in this college. Mrs. Mukherjee is a very affectionate and graceful lady. During the course of our discussion, ...

“A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination, and instill a love of learning.” -  Brad Henry   ‘A TEACHER BY DESIGN OR A TEACHER BY DEFAULT?’ This is how I have captioned my session tomorrow. A reputed college in the city has invited me to conduct a session for its senior college-teachers… some eighty of them, of which about sixty are Ph.Ds. And, yes, about 60 to 70 percent of the teachers are ladies! A lady, always, makes a better teacher… Any dispute on this? Most of us have tender memories of our earliest teachers… Invariably most of them were lady teachers. Mine was a teacher by the name Satvavati. She made our lessons so dramatic with her stories and songs. This one has stayed with me till date... O ne late evening, a cow was returning to her home through a jungle. A hungry tiger came to attack her. She was the ideal dinner for the hungry tiger.  “Master,” the cow cried before the hungry a...

E very year, many people approach me regarding admission in a school or a college. Because I have been in teaching profession for over thirty-five years, here in Mumbai, they assume that I must be able to influence some Trustee or Principal – whoever it is – to help them get admission for their kin or kith. But, I am very bad in this job! Yes, I have taught thousands of students over these years, and, in the process, I might have come across many school Trustees, Principals and teachers. But, I haven’t sought any favours from them. Very, very rarely, when I have sought a favour on someone’s behalf, it has not worked out. So, I have learnt to sincerely communicate about my drawback in this respect and, rather, encourage them to try on merit, wait with patience  - even to remind them saying that they should not mind sending their children to whichever school or college available to them. “Boards, schools and colleges make no big difference.” I keep drilling i...

Y ears ago, there were these two popular books - ‘How to Read a Person Like a Book’ (by Gerard Nierenberg) and ‘Body Language’ by Allan and Barbara Pease. It was the time when people – particularly youngsters – were obsessed with reading about their Horoscopes… Linda Goodman’s books – ‘Sun Signs’, ‘Star Signs’ and ‘Love Signs’ were a rage during this time. This was also the time, when people – yes, particularly youngsters – were found obsessed with reading about the Body Language… right from the way you used your hands to the way you sat, walked, slept and even blinked or frowned – yes, everything about your body was supposed to mean something, say something. A few decades later, today, I do not see many people hooked on to these kinds of subjects the way they did once… Linda Goodman, Gerard Nierenberg, Allan and Barbara seem to be authors of another time... This is New Age… People seem to be obsessed with new stuff! But, I still tell young ones, who come to me...

B y the time I publish this Post on my blog, the national flag across our country – in every nook and corner that is – would have been already hoisted. The National Anthem and some patriotic songs, some snacks or sweets to children… maybe some games… with that would conclude our 71 st Independence Day celebration. We will not be able to change our ‘old ways’ of living even till the flag is descended before sunset… Our ways haven’t changed… “I am an Indian… and all Indians are my brothers and sisters,” this pledge is only confined to the tricolor pole or our children’s’ textbooks. Am I proud to be an Indian? Yes, I am. With all the good, the bad and ugly that my country offers me, am I still proud to be an Indian? Yes, I am. I do not like chest-thumping at all. The patriotic feeling, just like the feeling towards my parents and spouse, should be left to my bosoms. I know, it is ordinary citizens like you and me make this nation… I know, we h...

I am a die-hard fan of Sachin Tendulkar. I admire him for his game – cricket. He is a legend and he inspires millions all over the world. He comes about as a gentleman and least controversial. Hence, he is so highly respected. But, then, when the nation – the particular political class – bestowed upon him the highest civilian honour of our nation – ‘Bharat Ratna’ – I did not feel very comfortable. There are so many ‘Jewels of India’… I say so many, that Sachin would have shone much brighter without a ‘Bharat Ratna’. It’s my view. Our country – of more than 1.3-billion people – doesn’t have sprinters of Usain Bolt’s class. Jamica, Usani Bolt’s country - doesn’t even have a population of 28 lakh! Incidentally, Usain’s original passion was cricket. But, he went on to become the greatest athlete – the fastest man on earth. No one has matched his track records, just as no one has Sachin’s cricket-records. So, if Jamica crowns Usain with her highest civilian honor, so b...

“A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it.” –Edward P. Morgan W hy do people read books? There are many theories trying to explain why people do. One of them, as many think, is the old-and-tested. According to this theory, if a child observes its parents and grandparents at home reading books, it is likely to pick the reading habit. “There are many little ways to enlarge your child’s world,” said Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, “Love of books is the best of all.” And, when the child observes everyone at home reading, when it finds itself surrounded by books, the chances of child taking to books are very high. In my Tai Chi class, today, I was talking to R. Kannan. “Both, my wife and I, are voracious readers… Our house is filled with books everywhere,” he said, “Our two sons (14 and 12) have been infected with this habit from us.” But, the interesting thing is the subject of books tha...