Gerald D'Cunha

  “Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do; but, it doesn’t get you very far.” Jodi Picoult   I know, beyond a certain point, it is futile – even senile – to worry about the future. Still, like everyone else around me, anxiety about my future doesn’t spare me. At no stage in my life – of 65 years – there was an ‘anxiety- mukt ’ time… I had something to be anxious about in my teens and I have something to be anxious about in my mid-sixties… I worried abut many things while I was a bachelor, and I worry about so many things when I am a family man, now. Good health or bad health, no money or more money… let me tell you this: Life never seems free from worrying! Am I generalizing here? I believe, I am not. What we ‘know’ and what we ‘do’ – are different… I am quite sure about it. For example, I know, that living in the present moment is the key to reduce - and even get free from - our anxiety. I write about it in my blogs… and strongly encoura...

  “Don’t fill life with struggles - fill it with joy. A flower always struggles to survive; but, it never forgets to bloom with joy.” Debashis Mirdha   O ne late evening, while commuting in an autorickshaw, I struck a conversation with the auto-driver… He looked quite old, but very courteous and enthusiastic. On my prodding, he started narrating his story: He had come from his village in UP when he was barely a boy… The odd jobs he had done… How hard it was to find a place to live… The responsibility to fend people back in his village – his parents, grandparents and younger siblings… How, eventually, he started running others’ autorickshaws, till the time he could manage to buy one of his own (through a bank loan) … How, after his marriage, his wife and two children lived in their village, while he continued to work here… His son, after completing his graduation, was working in Noida and daughter was married and settled in a nearby town in UP… Now, the man owned a sm...

“Don’t’ be pushed around by the fears in your mind.  Be led by the dreams in your heart.” Roy T. Bennet   I have not been following the ongoing (Cricket) World-Cup matches. The occasional updates have been coming from here and there, like from ardent cricket buffs, such as my son or some of my students… and, sometimes, even from random cricket buffs, like an Uber driver… However, the maximum updates, during this World-Cup edition, has been coming to me from my student, Aman (First year Banking & Insurance). His father is a sports journalist, who gets to attend matches at every venue; and, here, our Aman gets to know some finer nuances of the game… Last afternoon, Aman was excited to tell me about the unveiling of Sachin Tendulkar’s statue at the Wankhede Stadium. I learnt from him, that the ceremony was held the day before... “Was your Dad there to cover it?” I asked Aman… “Yes,” Aman said proudly… “Are you a Sachin fan?” I asked… “Yes,” came the fastest...

  “It’s always the ones who know the least about you  who judge you the most.” Anonymous   T here seems to be an unexplainable thrill in gossiping about other people’s lives… I mean, their private lives. It’s a strange thrill, as if like an orgasm… Sorry for being a bit colourful, here! In one of our High School lessons, we had an interesting lesson… It was one of the essays of A. G. Gardiner… It’s titled ‘On Keyhole Morals’. It dealt with our innate and insatiable curiosity to know what is happening in other people’s private lives… Yes, to see it, secretly, through the keyholes of their rooms! And, right since my childhood days, I would hear the Priests in church trying to drill into our little skulls what Jesus had said, “Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eyes, but fail to see a log in your own?” … “You hypocrites!” We still assume, that Jesus called the Pharisees of His time with that blunt expression… We think, hypocrites live no longer, today...

  “The more you eat, the less flavour; the less you eat, the more flavour.” Chinese Proverb   M y elder brother, Franklin, had a large circle of friends when he was a young boy. One evening, a friend of theirs had invited eight of them to his house for a dinner. The friend’s family was known for a judicious lifestyle… They cooked less, seldom wasted any food or indulged in any sort of excess. So, that evening, when my brother and his seven other friends went around the dining table at their friend’s house, they were in for a shock: besides a moderate quantity of rice, chicken gravy, some veg dish, there were sannas (soft idlis prepared at Mangalorean/Goan Catholic houses)… But, only ten or so in number! Each one in the group took one sanna.. . “Eat very, very slowly,” the leader of my brother’s mischievous group instructed in whispers, “You won’t be able to pick another from the table.” So, they settled for one sanna each, and kept munching and chewing like a cow,...

  “Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too; they live inside us… And, sometimes, they win.” Stephen King   T ill this date, I do not know what a ‘Halloween Day’ is all about. While growing up, back home, we would hear about something called ‘All Souls’ Day’. On this day, we went to church, visited graveyard and prayed for the souls of every near, dear and far-off departed ones… That’s all I remember doing as a child… That’s about it. And, here, in this big city, and, particularly after the exposure to social media and YouTube, I started hearing about this fancy-dress event called ‘Halloween’. Interestingly, not only little kids took part in this fancy-dress event, the young and the old alike, the schooled and the unschooled alike – yes all of them dressed in these crazy, scary, weird costumes with the hope, that they could entertain the world around them…  make them  happy and scared. Whatever one hopes to do, like every other festival in this world...

  “You can’t do a good job if your job is all you do.” Katie Thurmes   W hen we are obsessed with our professional work - work like crazy – we are called ‘workaholics’. Obviously, it is an addiction just as alcohol or any other addiction are. This addiction is self-induced, it comes from our choice… On the other hand, when we are compelled to work in a similar manner due to the condition at our work places – a ruthless boss or work ethics – then, we cannot call ourselves ‘workaholics’… we are bonded labourers, forced into slavery… In this Post, I wish to deal with the ‘workaholism’ – the self-induced slavery to work. Work is very, very important, and, I am an advocate of hard work, long work and smart work – all. But, I know, work is not ‘all’… It is not ‘Life’… It is only a segment of life. Most of us know, by now, that when work becomes our entire life, life becomes endangered… When work goes, Life goes… So, many of us, learn it the hard way… I did. I, too, s...

  “The goal is for your midlife crisis to turn into a midlife discovery.” Joan Anderson   “T ime and tide wait for no man.” Woman also knows, that this old message applies to her, as well. A couple of days ago, Ratna* had excitedly shared how happy she was to tell me, that her second son (Class 10) had been selected for an important stage event in his school… I had taught Ratna, some thirty-two years ago, while she was in her TY B.Com. She is a dear friend, now. Besides being a bright student, she was also a talented trained-singer. After completing ICWA, she worked for a big company for some years as a Costing professional. She had married to her college sweetheart, who was busy establishing himself as a Chartered Accountant. Eventually, they moved abroad, gave birth to two sons… Ratna’s life began to revolve around her husband and two little sons… Meanwhile, Costing and Singing sat quietly on the backburner… “O nly mud settles in life,” my dear friend Dr. De...