TURNING MIDLIFE CRISIS INTO MIDLIFE DISCOVERY

 



“The goal is for your midlife crisis to turn into

a midlife discovery.”

Joan Anderson


 

“Time and tide wait for no man.”

Woman also knows, that this old message applies to her, as well.

A couple of days ago, Ratna* had excitedly shared how happy she was to tell me, that her second son (Class 10) had been selected for an important stage event in his school…

I had taught Ratna, some thirty-two years ago, while she was in her TY B.Com. She is a dear friend, now. Besides being a bright student, she was also a talented trained-singer. After completing ICWA, she worked for a big company for some years as a Costing professional. She had married to her college sweetheart, who was busy establishing himself as a Chartered Accountant. Eventually, they moved abroad, gave birth to two sons… Ratna’s life began to revolve around her husband and two little sons… Meanwhile, Costing and Singing sat quietly on the backburner…






“Only mud settles in life,” my dear friend Dr. Deepak loves to say this. It is his way of dealing with the question from those curiously-concerned people in his life: “When are you going to settle?”

You see, in life, humans must keep moving, and leave the business of ‘settling’ alone…

“Life is what happens to you while you are busy making your other plans” … How many times need we be reminded about this truth?

Life’s joys come clasped in our daily unexpected little events… Looking for – and waiting for - joy in big events will only leave us frustrated, disillusioned…

Husband and the first son, after so many years of Ratna’s dedication for them, still need her to ‘get settled’… The second son will need her for many, many more years, too… yes, to ‘get settled’…

Meanwhile, when will Ratna, my dear friend, ‘get settled’ in life? Whatever happened to ‘Costing’ and ‘Singing’?...

“Sir, looking for some part time opportunity,” Ratna had written in her message, “As kids have grown up, there is a vacuum… I need to occupy myself constructively.”

I could understand my friend’s plight. I replied to her: “That ‘looking for’ is the midlife crisis. Take it easy… Smell the wayside flowers… feel the gentle breeze dancing over your shoulders… See the nightly stars… and feel the awe! Baaki ho jaata hai, Ratna.”

I knew, my poetic advice did not carry a solution to Ratna’s vacuum. I also knew, that she had hidden her light under the basket in the frantic quest of letting ‘everyone and everything settle in life’…





Take off the basket, Ratna… Let the light shine… Let the song be heard… The wise say, “It’s not midlife crisis; it’s midlife discovery.”

 

*Name changed


GERALD D’CUNHA

 

Pic’s: Pixels: 1. Dylann Hendricks 2. Valeriia Miller

 

Video: TEDx Talks/Patricia Tatz

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