Gerald D'Cunha

  “A man grows most tired while standing still.” —  Chinese Proverbs   M any years ago, when I had asked a doctor friend of mine, “When are you getting settled”, his answer was hilarious. He jokingly said, “Only mud settles in life.” Well, being a doctor, just an MBBS or an MD weren’t enough for a doctor. The world they lived in wanted them to keep adding one specialty or a super-specialty after another… and, therefore, my friend was tossing the familiar line from his profession: “Doctors don’t settle… Only mud settles in life.” Anyway, I had innocently asked him, “Mere dost, tum shaadi kab koroge?” Earlier, this friend had shared an interesting story with me… “When the fishermen in Japan go to the deep seas, they erect huge water tanks aboard their launces to bring the fishes home alive. And, to doubly ensure that, they put some sharks into those tanks.” I still remember that story… Every time I wake up in the morning, I remind myself with it… “Friend, no...

  “Sometimes, God’s blessings are not in what He gives; but, in what He takes away.”  -– Anonymous   Y esterday, a dear friend of my wife and me, Anisha, had invited us to watch the Marathi play –- ‘Mukkam Post Pandharpur’ . As Anisha’s friend was one of the producers of the play, the front-row tickets were complimentary for us… We loved the play… It’s the touching story of young army recruit, Mawli, who was born and brought up in the holy land of Vitthala (Lord Vishnu) –- ‘Pandharpur’ (near Sholapur). As another friend of mine has been undertaking the padyatra to Pandharpur every year (hundreds of kilometers), I knew how powerful such faith in Vitthala was. But, not for the protagonist of the play, Mawli. He didn’t have any faith in either Vitthala or any of His Vasudevas… He would argue angrily with whoever displayed devotion to Vitthala… To him, it was a blind faith… Vitthala was dead. So, young Mawli, just after getting married, is posted at Siachen ...

  “Genuine gems are recognized in the dark.” ― Kamaran Ihsan Salih   I may love writing and I may love reading. But, my friends, loved ones and well-wishers may or may not. And, I have learnt to say, “That’s perfectly fine.” My love for writing and reading came only during my degree-college days. Before that, I was nowhere near the books or the pen. Typewriter and a computer were distant realities. Thus, today, when I write relentlessly and read voraciously, and when my fellowmen don’t, I just continue saying, “That’s is perfectly fine.” I, also, see little kids around me who are into a great deal of writing and reading, and I remind myself saying, “Hey, unlike these little kids, I bloomed late… and, that’s, also, perfectly fine.” If only I learn to be kind to myself, I am able to be kind to others around me. Everyone around me needn’t feel good about himself/herself only through the ‘good habits’ of reading and writing… A n ex-student of mine, who is a de...

  “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” -      Dolly Parton   A couple of days ago, a lady called me seeking some help for her young son, her only child. She held a good position in a large organization. “Sir, my son is doing his grade 10 in so and so school (one of the sought-after ones). He is excellent in his studies, and communication… He is a voracious reader and writes, too, well. But, I want him to learn how to structure his presentations better, face interviews efficiently (for studies abroad, perhaps) and manage some of his anxiety…” From my experience, parents of grade 10 students, normally, are so stuck with academics, that they don’t think about things like soft skills. But, here was a mother, who, apparently, wanted her young son to be ‘perfect’, the ‘best’. I tried to calm her down saying, “Ma’am, from what you said, I understand, that your son is a bright young boy. Trust me, he doesn’t need an...

“Gods, always, behave like the people who make them.” —  Zora Neale Hurston   I got curious when I came across the above quote. I read it a couple of times trying to comprehend what it wanted to convey… Well, finally, the question kept haunting me: Do Gods make us, or do we make Gods? Interesting, question… Isn’t it? T wo days ago, I had sent a copy of my new blog book (Volume 1) —‘FINDING EXTRAORDINARY IN THE ORDINARY’ to my friend Paromita’s residence (a Bengali). It’s her birthday, and she, being a great lover of books, was super thrilled to get a special present from me. It was 10 am in the morning. “How’s been your special day?” I asked Paromita. “Oh, exciting!” Paromita said transmitting to me her excitement over the phone. She continued, “I visited two Kaali maa temples… One was an easy entry for all. The other was located inside Anushakti Nagar (BARC colony)… The Security officer at the gate was strict and didn’t allow me when I told, that I wanted to...

“The great thing about social media is that it gives everyone a voice. But, the trouble is, it’s, often, a very loud voice.” -      Mark Zuckerberg W hile in college, I remember going to a particular restaurant (in my hometown, Mangalore) to enjoy the tea served there in the white cups. Somehow, that memory has stayed etched in my mind even after fifty years. I think, like this, each one of us has some soft memory spots… Here in Mumbai, after my Sunday Tai Chi session, a friend of mine and I go for a simple cup of tea served in those white cups… Ah, that simple pleasure… those quiet old memories… and, above all, the peace in being anonymous in, otherwise, noisy world around! This morning, I was amused to see a young man capturing his chai moment for his social media status. As I knew him and was connected with him on social media, I smiled when I saw his broadcast soon: “What a delight!” While I am no one to judge this young man –- or any of those who pos...

  “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most miserable have become the most compassionate.”  - Kahlil Gibran   A while ago, I was talking to an elderly woman on phone. Though she lives with her family, she sounded a lot ‘alone’… I said, ‘a lot alone’… It took a long time for me to know how different are ‘being lonely’ and ‘being alone’… For all of us, ‘being lonely’ is how it starts… Our daily conflicts, disappointments, regrets, misunderstandings, fights, struggles, and lack of trust and love –- yes, that’s where the loneliness sets into our hearts… We resist, we blame, we argue, we live in self-pity and denial… and we keep living in that state till we realize the futility of all this –- living in victimhood. Lack of trust and anger slowly turn into poison. Frankly, till we do not realize it –- how poisonous our heats have turned –- there is no way we can realize how ‘being lonely’ is different from ‘being alone’… So, the elderly wo...

  “Stillness is the language God speaks, and all else is a bad translation.” — Eckhart Tolle   I met this doctor friend of mine after many years when I rejoined the Tai Chi classes. He is a gentle soul; and his presence and speech, always, have a   calming effect on me. Every Sunday morning, after our Tai Chi session, we both sit in a nearby Mani’s restaurant for a simple cup of tea… During those few minutes there, we discuss anything that is simple and light… But, I don’t know if what we discussed this morning was simple and light… One of the relatives of my doctor friend (Age 56) is at a terminal stage of cancer. She and her husband have come (from Dubai) to stay at the residence of my doctor friend for undergoing Chemotherapy in one of the hospitals in Mumbai. “Presence of loved ones around can help the recovery process,” I said. “That’s true,” said my friend, “However, one can be lonely even when surrounded by several loved ones around. Inner issues ne...