SOMETIMES, IT IS BEST NOT TO CALL A SPADE A SPADE






Pic.: Pradeep Nanda


“I call a spade a spade.” Whenever someone uses this phrase, I quietly say a prayer for him: “O Lord, have mercy on my friend; please save him!”

Save him from what?

Till someone doesn't tell this man the same thing, with the same bluntness and arrogance, he will never realize why, many a times in life, it is not sensible to call a spade a spade…


I have noticed this: the guy who makes a big deal about calling a spade a spade, is most touchy about someone treating him with the same medicine!

A gentleman I know has just started a food business. He sent me some complimentary dishes to taste which were reasonably good. The other day, I gave him a substantially-large order. Some of the dishes turned out to be very good, while some, really bad. Now, he was not my thick friend, nor he was a total stranger. I knew him fairly well and he sincerely wanted me to give him my feedback, too.  Though, for a moment, I felt annoyed and I wanted to let him know my feelings point-blank, I simply held back my feelings for a day or two. When we met - when the man was really in a receiving frame of mind - I let him know how I had felt about the good dishes and the bad dishes… Obviously, I complemented him for the good ones first; and, then, I touched upon the ones he had to improve, and do so immediately.


It worked perfectly for both… The man took my advice very humbly and sportingly. After all, he had just entered into the new venture and wanted to do well in it… He was sincere; he wanted my feedback for improvement…

The feedback doesn't mean ‘put it bluntly’… Even though spade is a spade and we need to call a spade a spade, the way we say it does matter a lot in human relationships…

If someone calls my product lousy, face ugly, and speech spice-less – yes, point blank, with a I-don’t-care-a-damn attitude – it will help neither him, nor me. It is not the kind of feedback I would use to improve myself; it will dampen my spirit… and, worse, alienate the person from me…

So, in life, why we want to call a spade a spade, when and how we do it… yes, it is more important than calling a spade a spade itself…

Yes, sometimes, it is very enriching, very beautiful when we spare the spade… And, we, certainly, know when that ‘sometimes’ is!



GERALD D’CUNHA




Comments

Veena Shukla said…
Yes sir, I agree.
December 27, 2014 at 6:21 PM
bhupen said…
"Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you'll find is that you can overcome anything."
December 27, 2014 at 6:39 PM
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