Gerald D'Cunha

 “T he only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  When Franklin D. Roosevelt made this famous remark in his inaugural address (1933), the times were really tough and the future looked really dark… The war, depression, unemployment, and uncertainly loomed so large that there was that dire need of a strong leader to inspire hope in the despaired hearts. So, FDR rose to the occasion and inspired the American people by calling upon them not to fear, not to panic over their future… “The only thing we have to fear,” he reminded them, “is fear itself.” Ever since then – that is, for some eight decades – men and women have found solace in FDR’s clarion call… In life, there is nothing we should be frightened of… but the fear itself… For, as Mary Ferguson said, “Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom!” Fear is a great energy drainer. It can paralyze us… rob us of our zest for life. As New Year is about to roll in tomorrow night, ...

“The sharpest minds often ruin their lives by overthinking the next step, while the dull win the race with eyes closed.” ―  Bethany Brookbank , W hen I realize that my leg has gangrene, what do I do? I cut off the infected part of my leg so that the rest of my body is saved. But, then, what do I do when I realize that my life is getting infected due to the presence of some negative people around me… Why do I dilly-dally from amputating the infected people from my life? The people I choose to surround myself with can either boost my energy or they can drain it. A dear friend of mine constantly advises me to be wise in choosing who I want to surround myself with…  “Negative people are leeches… they suck our energy,” he keeps reminding me, “When we recognize that… yes, that’s the time to cut off from the caustic people in our lives.” Who are these caustic people? Are they significant people in our lives… our spouses, children, family me...

“The sharpest minds often ruin their lives by overthinking the next step, while the dull win the race with eyes closed.” ―  Bethany Brookbank , W hen I realize that my leg has gangrene, what do I do? I cut off the infected part of my leg so that the rest of my body is saved. But, then, what do I do when I realize that my life is getting infected due to the presence of some negative people around me… Why do I dilly-dally from amputating the infected people from my life? The people I choose to surround myself with can either boost my energy or they can drain it. A dear friend of mine constantly advises me to be wise in choosing who I want to surround myself with…  “Negative people are leeches… they suck our energy,” he keeps reminding me, “When we recognize that… yes, that’s the time to cut off from the caustic people in our lives.” Who are these caustic people? Are they significant people in our lives… our spouses, children, fa...

                             P arenting is a tough job… Just as letting go is!        Letting go of our anxiety and fear about our children’s education, career, character and future…        Letting go of our need to control them… their choices…        Letting go of our need to constantly monitor their actions by hovering over their heads as helicopters…        Involved parents! Oh yes, we parents need to be. But, more than being ‘involved parents’, I think, we need to be ‘evolved parents’. Our children need our love, guidance and support… But, certainly, they don’t need our obsessive control which stems from our deep-rooted insecurity and lack… Children can sense that quickly!       My last Post - ‘OUR BROKEN DREAMS… AND OUR INNOCENT CHILDREN’ - was ...

A couple of days ago, my friend, Ajit Nair, shared on FB his views after watching ‘Dangal’. Here it is… W atched 'Dangal' last night. While the movie making is fairly engaging and surely worth a watch there are some things have lingered on, placing them here in no particular order. The story challenges patriarchy, but it also reinforces it as the father Mahavir Singh forces his dream upon his girls. They do well too. But then what were their own dreams? It cements this further when Geeta is shown as beating her own father at a bout but then goes on to lose many international ones in a row. Geeta's struggle could have been explored further, as she tries to balance her own rooted identity with the excitement of the world out there. 'Dangal' instead leaves the audience with the message that says "Father is always right". It also ends up quasi accusing Geeta of indulging herself in movies, shopping a bit of life which she is denied othe...

F or more than a week, the ladies and the kids of our housing colony were excited about the Christmas party they wanted to hold on 25 th December, that was yesterday. It has been a tradition in our colony; so, every year, the mothers of little and young children take initiative to host this Christmas event in a grand way… The colony is lit up with lamps and stars… there is a beautiful crib and a Christmas tree decorated by kids… This time around, the kids had given the snowfall-effect to make us feel it was so cold out there! Last evening, the party went on till 11.30 (I did not attend; my wife did)… with carols, games, Santa’s gifts, music and dance… and, of course, lovely snacks, too. I had gone off to sleep quite early as I had to be up at 4 for routine exercises and walk. Slightly before 12, our doorbell rang. “Who could be this?” was my reaction as I dragged the sleepy-me to the door. As I opened the door, about seven of those brats – both boys and girls – screamed, ...

“S o, what’s the latest news?” I asked my twelfth-standard (ISC) students. “Kareena got a baby,” beamed excitedly Simran. “Baby’s name is Taimur,” added Aditi equally excited. “Who cares?” declared Gagan. “Girls will be girls and boys will be always boys,” I smiled in my mind. “Tell me, what is your opinion on the controversy over the name of Kareena and Saif’s baby?” “Why should any of us be bothered about that?” the voice was unanimous from these young-ones, “Whose baby is it, anyway?” I loved that… “Whose baby is it, anyway?” Certainly not mine… and certainly not yours. So, let us mind our own business. Let’s not sit on the judgment seat and shout, “The baby is given the name of a despot king… a mass murderer… an invader. Taimur!" Till this Pakistani man – whoever he is – Tarek Fateh tweeted and polluted the peaceful atmosphere here, I did not know who Taimur was, or what Taimur meant. And, the moment this man made this holier-than-though state...

T he old advice goes: “When you are angry, count ten…. When you are very angry, count hundred. Obviously, that little space of time – perhaps a few seconds – can make all the difference between war and peace. Just hold back… Just hang on… Just take a long, deep breath before you say or do or react in the fit of your anger. I speak from my own experience… I am a human, a mortal… I err, I lose my temper quite often… and, whenever I have reacted in anger, it has neither helped me nor the cause for which I had exploded. It has only complicated things for me… no matter how much ever I have tried to justify my action… The reality is: giving in to anger and doing things impulsively is lack of self-control, lack of maturity. Period. On a scale of ten, I may score six or seven as far as this test goes. Not bad, I suppose… I console myself. The same old advice goes to all of us who complain about things which are ‘wrong’ in our lives. “When you have a complaint, count ten…...

T he first ones to greet me ‘Good Morning’ - I mean, in person – are our security guards and a couple of car-wash persons. The security guards do their twelve-hour night-duty – 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. I have no idea what they do once they end their duty in the morning… Obviously, they need a good sleep.  So, do they all go home and sleep or do they also do some other duty - maybe a few hours – to earn some extra income. Whenever we saw a guard doing in our colony back-to-back duty (day and night both), we had sternly told the security chief not to make any guard do such day-and-night duty. So, now, they all are found doing only 12-hour duty in our colony. But, I am sure, in order to earn some extra income, they must be doing, now and then, another 12-hour duty somewhere else. Or, at least some other duty involving a couple of hours. This morning, when one of the car-wash persons (a lovable old hand) wished me ‘Good Morning, sir,” I asked him gently, “So, at what time do ...

“Crippled things are always more beautiful… It's the flaw that brings out beauty.” ―  Holly Black ,  Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale O ne of the biggest sources of stress for a householder woman is: Maid Management. Man, though takes this stress indirectly on his head, it is she who deals with this problem called – Maid Management – directly on a daily basis. My wife and I are not spared from this problem and its consequence: stress. They don’t stick… They make fuss… They are unseasonable in their demands… They don’t turn up on the day we need them the most… They speak rudely… They get influenced by other maids… Their work is shoddy… They are ‘kaam-chors’ … They are not dependable and trustworthy… They should know who is their ‘Boss’… and etc., etc… “Don’t look for perfections,” advised Bhadekar madam, one of the elderly members in our society and one who has vast experience in this management stream: Maid Management. Every day on conclu...