IT'S NOT JUST THE LEAST I CAN DO; IT'S PROBABLY ALL I CAN DO

“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”
― William Ernest Henley, Echoes of Life and Death;

Is man really the master of his fate and captain of his soul?

When I first came across this famous poem of Henley, I was in my early twenties… Hot blood ran through my veins and I would assume that I possessed within me the power to stop the sunset… Yes, just like Lord Krishna did in Kurukshetra! This was also the time, when I came across another motivational war-cry from Vince Lombardi: “Winners never quit and quitters never win...”

Today, after almost four decades and many, many heart-burns, I have come to the conclusion, that Man, being human, can do only so much to alter his fate… Yes, only so much. There are so many problems in my life, I have simply not been able to solve with the best of my intentions and efforts. Those problems, now, I have learnt to gracefully accept… by letting go of my control and letting God, the Higher Power, to do what is best for me. The more I think of it, the saner and wiser it seems to be to take comfort in the Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”

It is the last line of this prayer that holds the key to our peace… God, grant us the ‘wisdom’ to know the difference… when and how much to hold on and when to let go. Till we do not realize, that, there ‘are’ some things, some problems, in life, which need the intervention of a power beyond us… Yes, till then, we will continue to bang our heads on the hard rock… I think, that’s what hell is all about!

My last Post was titeld: ‘THERE IS A TIME TO DO NOTHING TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS’. I had written it when I was going through some problems, which I had come to handover to God, saying, “God, Thy will be done”! In response to this Post, there was this mail from a reader. I wish to share it, here, for its honesty and value…

Hello Gerry,

As I read your post, this morning, about letting go and allowing God to solve your problems, it brought a smile to my face. I felt like you had written this post just for me. I felt like you had read an entry from my private journal I keep. I've, just recently, been reminded in many ways to let go and allow God to solve our problems. One such reminder came from a good-wise friend, who is of my mother’s age. She said, “Children are born through you, but they are God's children; so, put your son in God's hand and trust Him to guide His child the best way". I am, also, reminded, often, of something I used to hear my mom and grandmother say a lot growing up: “Once the burden feels too much for you, just transfer that to God and feel lighter and better!" I have come to that place now… but, here below, I've shared my experience that I had jotted in a journal just last week. 

9/17/17

As we navigate through this journey of our son's depression and how it manifests in many treacherous ways in our lives, I've experienced absolute heart-break over the suffering being experienced by our son. We are trying every avenue possible to learn more about his struggles, provide resources, brain-storm ideas etc. As time passes and the struggles continue, I am slowly learning to accept that I just have to continue doing all that I am doing, but let go of this notion or belief that, somehow, I can control the steering wheel. I am slowly learning to step aside and allow God to take over the steering wheel and place the trust in Him that he will only steer us towards light and hope.

The last many months of this struggle, trying to help our son, has left me feeling humbled. I will be honest: I don’t have a clue how to fix any of his struggles or even how to fix my own. Instead, I am now transferring that job to Him. But, I do know one thing: I am good at some things and I'll continue doing what I am good at. My son needs my comforting touch, my kind smile of understanding, my compassion, and even my hope. Now is not the time to hold back on what I am able to give him very easily. I can tell him, every day, that I love him and do whatever I can to make the world a little less hostile and a little kinder for him. It’s not just the least I can do; it’s probably all I can do.

The last words of this reader, “It’s not just the least I can do; it’s probably all I can do,” sent me into a long silence!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Anil Bedi