WHAT WAS I DOING AT 25?

Suddenly, a thought was crossing through my mind, today: “What was I doing at 25?”

At 25, I  was young, energetic… had a big bush (African hair) over my head…

A couple of years before that, I had decided not to take up a steady job anywhere… Instead go on my own. So, inspired by Napoleon Hills’ famous success principle (in ‘Think and Grow Rich’, and ‘Law of Success’) – ‘Master Mind Alliance’ – I had bought together some men of different skills and strengths to found an Institute in Kalina…

When I look back and see this episode, I get a broad smile on my face… I was still very raw and inexperienced… Business and entrepreneurship never ran my family DNA… Still, solely influenced by Napoleon Hill’s success philosophy – here I was: with a commercial venture in hand. I had burnt the bridges behind me to be there… I had left no escape route… I had to do or die… I had to sink or swim. So, the secret was to give your all, and I gave my all… And, even at that raw age of life, I had realized, that, if I gave my all, there was nothing that going to stop me from reaching my goal.

After three years, though I had done great from my own assessment, I chose to part ways from the venture I had floated. Next three years, I had to put together the broken pieces… But, I did it keeping my head always high…

So, at 25, I was on my own…

Back home, in Mangalore, my dad had a dream: to build a decent new house. He had taken small loans, which for his capacities, were ‘huge’… As I was still trying to stabilize, I was unable to help dad in a noteworthy way… I used to send home money, which was hardly enough to run the house, look after the school and college needs of my younger brothers… Elder brother, too, was not in a position to help dad in a significant way… So, when dad died, when I was 25, our house was still undone… That still remains one of my biggest regrets: “If only I could help my dad to finish the work he had taken up!”

At 25, I was single… and I was not in a mood to mingle!

At 25, I wrote in dairies my daily notes profusely… I called them ‘my scribblings’… I still have them with me… and, I love them… They are so fresh, tender and honest.

At 25, I lived with my uncles’ family (dad’s younger brother). He held a humble position in BARC. But, being an ex-serviceman and a pious soul, he offered me a robust grounding (discipline) in Mumbai… I lived with his family – in their small house… for seven long years. He and his family hold me in high respect as much as I hold theirs…

At 25, I would read lots of books – mostly inspirational, biographies, autobiographies, magazines, particularly ‘Illustrated Weekly of India’ and ‘India Today'… I also read old issues of ‘TIME’ magazine (bought on roadside)… Pritish Nandy was the Editor of ‘Illustrated Weekly’… I loved his style of writing… his translation and layout of poetry (center-spread)… He was the one who got me introduced to many great writers and poets… My writings are hugely inspired from his style (Apart from The New Testament, Kahlil Gibran and OSHO)…

At 25, I was reading, over and over again, Lee Iacocca’s gut-wrenching ‘Autobiography’… His penchant for directness and gut-talk has influenced my writings… and speeches…

At 25, I had watched Richard Attenborough’s ‘Gandhi’ and Ramesh Sippy’s underworld saga, ‘Shakti’… These movies had left great impact on me…

At 25, I had not started saving… I had no Life or Medical insurance… but, I felt very secure and healthy!

At 25, I still feared stage… but, ironically, I  desired to help others to overcome their stage fear!

At 25, I still was working on my English… but, ironically, I desired to author books in English!

At 25, I chose to rise early and go out of the house as early as possible… I seldom came home when the Sun was still up!

At 25, food was not an issue with me, nor clothes… I did not mind walking long miles and remain hungry whenever there was no money in hand… But, I did it without complaining… and could see strength only growing because of it…

At 25, I was constantly motivating and mentoring (long distance) my younger brothers…

At 25, my mom was 57… She was younger than my present age…

At 25, I had travelled for the first time by flight… It was to attend my dad’s funeral!

At 25, I had sold off (lost to a mortgage!) my first wrist watch (gifted my by elder brother) for Rs.100/- … I chose never to wear a wrist watch ever since, though I chose to value time, always!

At 25, I had already tucked some values around my heart… Commitment, loyalty, focus, going the extra-mile, initiavitve, basic business ethics, hard-work, accountability etc…

At 25, I knew some of my strong points: capacity to be patience, tolerant, capacity to organize, survive with little etc…

At 25, I was clear about my goal… and, to achieve that, I knew what talents, skills, strengths I had possessed and what flaws I had to overcome…

At 25, I was making the blunders any young man would make… I was thinking thoughts any young man would think.. Yet, I was conscious of what I had to stay away from… achohol, tobacco, drugs etc…

At 25, I  had begun to realize how I could be closer to God without going to a Church or a Temple… The God in my heart began to became more and more appealing to me… Hardcore religion replelled me…

At 25, I belived in forgiveness… I chose not to hold grudges. I knew my life was very short… Yes, many did not even live that long (25)… I knew what was meant by – ‘Life is a gift’!

At 25, I had made Jesus Christ, Swami Vivekananda, Martin Luther King Jr. my idols… and, all of them had passed away in their early or late thirties! So, the length of one’s life was never an attraction to me… even though I prayed for good health and a long life!

At 25, I was hopeful and zestful dispite a few heartbreaks… I chose never to be cynical or bitter in life…

Today, our only son, Kenrick, turns 25…  Suddenly, a thought was crossing through my mind: “What was I doing at 25?”

Happy birthday, my son.

GERALD ‘CUNHA

Pic.: Anil Bedi