FEELING LOVABLE AND FEELING CAPABLE

“Self-esteem is made up primarily of two things:

feeling lovable and feeling capable.”

- Jack Canfield

On my way to bank, today, I met this man. Some years ago, I had taught his two sons, while they were studying in their Junior College. The man was very worried about their future as they took life casually. He had constant confrontation with both sons, so much, that he had lost total hopes. He was a small-time tailor, and, would, always, tell me, “Even if they become tailors like me, I will be happy; but, they don’t have interest in that, too.”

My response used to be uniform: “Don’t worry, sir. They will become serious and do well in life as years roll by. When their self-esteem goes up, everything starts falling in place.”

“How are your sons doing?” I asked the man, when I met him, today, “Are you still worried about them?”

“No sir, no,” the man quickly held my hand warmly, “Touch wood, they are doing very well… I am very happy.”

“Where are they?” I enquired.

“Both completed their MBA,” the man said with pride, “The elder one is working for ICICI Bank and the younger one is working in Dubai.”

“Don’t worry sir,” comes naturally to me. I can safely say - looking back at my own life and life around me, over all these years – that, almost all of us have become serious about our lives only as time rolled by. As teenagers, most of us have given a lot of heart-burn to our parents… Our parents had worried about our future; but, as time rolled by, they have found us back on track…

If I have put my life back on track, most around me will. Hence, I do not hesitate to console the worried parents, assuring them, “Don’t worry sir/madam. Your children ‘will’ become serious and do well in life as years roll by.”

All that they have to do is: Develop a healthy self-esteem.

Yes, all behavioural issues are the outcome of how high or low our self-esteem is. Many parents ask me, when they come to enroll their little ones or young ones for our P.D. programme, “What can we expect from this programme?”

Though  a dozen benefits I can place before the inquisitive parents, I, mostly, place before them only one: “A healthy self-esteem!”

Fortunately, many parents understand the emphasis I lay on developing a healthy self-esteem in their children. They are able to understand the meaning of my words, “When their self-esteem goes up, everything starts falling in place.”

True. As Jack Canfield says, to develop a healthy self-esteem in a child, we need to help him feel lovable and feel capable, both.”

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Internet