LEAVE THE CROWN IN THE GARAGE

"It is better to rise from life as from a banquet –

neither thirsty nor drunken."

— Aristotle

Oprah Winfrey once said, “We can have it all; but, we can’t have it all at once.”

Well, that has been the dilemma – the atma sankat – of almost everyone who wanted to ‘make it big’ - succeed, shine, become famous, become rich, Or, even get respected, loved, adored, worshipped, followed… Or, just wanted to go to work, like everyone else did, earn a moderate salary, keep the family afloat, juggling with finances all the while. Wherever you are - at the top, in the middle or at the bottom of your ladder – yes, the rule applies to all: You can have it all; but, you just can’t have it all at once!

The fixation with that ideal called ‘Success’ doesn’t spare most of us. When we have nothing, we want it all - name, fame, position, power and money… We want ‘security’ in life…

And, therefore, we are frantically at it, all the time… hoping to have it all!

It never happens… The ideal is frustrating. As Stephen Covey says, “Most of us realize, when we reach the top of our success-ladder, that the ladder had been leaning against the wrong wall, all this while”!

Families crumble, relationships collapse, children leave, health fails, money melts… fame, name and positions, too…

Then, why that fixation - that, when we get ‘there’ – at the top – we will get it all?

An illusion… A  Lie!

Indra Nooyi, who recently retired as the CEO of the global giant, PepsiCo (after being at the ‘top of her ladder’ for twelve long years) shares a valuable lesson she had learnt on the night she was ‘crowned’ as the CEO of the colossal organization. Here it is, in her own words:

None of us is just an employee. We’re also mothers and fathers, wives and husbands, daughters and sons, trying to balance multiple roles. And that’s what my seventh lesson is all about.

I’ll never forget coming home after being named President of PepsiCo back in 2001. My mother was visiting at the time.

“I’ve got great news for you,” I shouted. She replied, “It can wait. We need you to go out and get some milk.”

So I go out and get milk. And when I come back, I’m hopping mad. I say, “I had great news for you. I’ve just been named President of PepsiCo. And all you want me to do is go out and get milk.” 

Then she says, “Let me explain something to you. You may be President of PepsiCo. But when you step into this house, you’re a wife and mother first. Nobody can take that place. So leave that crown in the garage.” 

She was right, of course. No matter who we are, or what we do, nobody can take our place in our families. Now, I’ll admit, I’ve found it’s rarely possible to be the kind of mother, wife, employee, and person you want to be – all at the same time. Often, you need to make a choice, and that’s especially true if you want to be CEO. There’s no way around it.

And yet, for all the painful choices my husband and I have had to make, I also know our family has been incredibly fortunate. Many families in this country don’t have extended family to help with childcare or jobs that give them the financial means to pay for additional support. 

Whether it is Indra Nooyi, Oprah Winfrey or Michelle Obama, and whether it is Bill Gates, Narendra Modi or Satguru Jaggi Vasudev – none can have it all, at once…

Yes, we all can have it all, but ‘at a very high cost’, that is…

That ‘crown’ is not worth it, Sir…

And, should destiny bestow it upon us, let’s remember madam Nooyi and leave the crown in our garages, when we get home!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Anil Bedi

Video: Bloomberg