WINNERS DO QUIT... AND QUITTERS DO WIN

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.”

-     Banksy

Please read that again… It says not to quit when you are tired!

I had taught Nitin*, some years ago, while he was in junior college. His father ran a small grocery shop and they lived in a chawl near their shop… Mother was a house wife. Like all parents dream, Nitin’s parents , too, dreamed about their two boys. They wanted Nitin to become a Chartered Accountant and, their second son, a doctor. They have sent the second son to Kota (The Mecca in Rajasthan!) for preparing for his medical entrance…

Nitin was a well-mannered boy and loved the Accountancy subject which I was teaching him. As he had scored 98 marks (out of hundred) in this subject when he gave the twelfth-standard exams, it was clear to him and his parents, that he was capable of pursuing Chartered Accountancy. Thus, he wrote the entrance test (CPT) and scored well in it. Soon after that, he began to study for his Intermediate. He cleared the Group 1… But, he is still stuck in Group 2… Five unsuccessful attempts have left him totally drained, confused and, even disillusioned. Meanwhile, he has completed his B.Com a year ago… Only the CA dream is incomplete…

The night before yesterday, I saw a message from Nitin. “Sir, I am going through a very bad phase… Can you give me ten-fifteen minutes, when you are free, so that I can discuss my problem with you?”

Nitin came over to my office, last morning… We discussed the ‘problem’ for almost an hour…

As I told, Nitin has become tired and disillusioned. He has, also, become confused… “Sir, I don’t like the place I am working… the people, their politics, and the kind of work I am doing every day… It’s a CA firm, and, I don’t like the Partners of this firm… What’s the use of becoming a CA only to end up becoming like them? I want to do something different.”

“What is that you want to do, Nitin?” I asked.

Nitin was hesitant… “Maybe, some business,” he said meekly.

“What kind of business?” I asked.

Nitin was more hesitant, now… “Maybe, a restaurant?”

“Why restaurant? Have you got a special love for or knowledge of this field? What is that calling you there?” I asked.

“Sir, a friend of mine has started a restaurant in Bandra and doing very well,” explained Nitin.

“What more do you know about your friend? Do you know what it takes to start a restaurant in a place like Bandra? Have you checked with him the kind of money he has pumped into it… the source of that money… the people behind the show etc?”

Nitin had no clue.

“Maybe, music?” said Nitin, almost, worried about my reaction.

“Music?” I raised my eye-brows, “What makes you think so?”

“Because, I have written some lyrics,” Nitin said.

“Anything beyond that in music… Like, do you play any instrument? Do you sing? Do you compose? Have you met anyone from the music field?”

“No Sir.”

“Maybe, I can start a departmental store?” Nitin said.

“How often do you sit in your dad’s shop?” I checked.

“No Sir, I don’t like what he is doing,” Nitin said, “I want it like a Super Market.”

“What do your parents say?” I asked Nitin, “Do they still want you to pursue the CA dream, or do they advise you to switch to something else?”

“Dad has already borrowed a lot of money for my brother’s education… He and mother, often, taunt me saying that I have let them down. But, they are worried about what is happening in my life… They see me coming home late, lifeless… not talking to them… Whenever we talk, we fight, and I become more depressed… I do not get sleep at all… Sir, I want to come out of all this… It’s a bad world!”

So far so good. Mercifully, Nitin has not taken any drugs for depression. He said, his mother had given him, a couple of times, some Auyurvedic pills to induce sleep, but, he had stopped taking them after a few doses…

Yes, Nitin needs help… and he needs it urgently. He must seek help, both from professionals and from people like me, his well-wishers and teachers. As a first step, I have asked him see me, again, along with his father. He is open to the idea and would be visiting me, again, after two days…

I am not a ‘professional’ counselor. So, I will do only what I am best at…

I shall advise them both to give their minds some rest… The minds are tired, confused and disillusioned. Hence, the world looks bad… People look bad… Happiness seems everywhere else, except here!

I shall advise them, that Chartered Accountancy is not ‘the’ fountain of happiness… Happiness can be found right at the heart of their grocery shop!

I shall advise them, that there is no shame in quitting if it is to start afresh. That, winners do quit and quitters do win… contrary to the clarion call:

‘Winners never quit… and quitters never win’!

What a trap!

I think, of all the wisdom in the world, the most powerful one is the wisdom: WHEN TO HOLD ON… AND WHEN TO QUIT.

No matter what we become in life – Chartered Accountants, Doctors, Teachers, Actors, Singers, Business Tycoons or whatever – we all need to function in this very world… There is no other world and there are no other people, Sir!

I believe, our ability to live and find our own happiness, here and now, is the qualification of the highest order…

All for a sound sleep, after all… Isn’t it Nitin?

*Name changed

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Rekha Srikar Shenoy

Video: Playing for Change