WHEN DANISH WAS A LITTLE BOY...
\“What if the kid you bullied at school, grew
up,
and turned out to be the only surgeon who could
save your life?”
―
A couple of years ago, when Danish*
was a little boy, his mother was a worried soul. “Sir, my biggest worry is
about Danish being too timid… He gets bullied; at times, beaten up by some of
his playmates… but, he doesn’t give them back… He comes home and complains… I
want him to be tough… be able to stand up to the bullies… Give them back.”
This was when Danish was in
class six and seven. Yesterday, he was in my office with his parents. He is all
set to clear his tenth-standard boards and walk into a college. I was impressed
when I saw Danish, yesterday… He sat before me and spoke very confidently… He
was clear in his thoughts and displayed a mature body-language…
Whatever happened to those
fears and worries of Danish’s mother?
She was a relived soul, and
said to me, laughing at her own former state… “I even took him to a boxing class…
I wanted him to learn boxing and defend himself,” she recalled.
“Did he learn boxing?” I
enquired looking at Danish.
“No Sir… I did not. I convinced
mom, that I would learn to handle my issues, without boxing,” Danish explained
coolly, “Things are a lot different now.”
When I look back at my own childhood,
I can really relate my story with Danish’s. My elder brother (two years older)
and my younger brother (two years younger) were tougher guys compared to me… I
was very timid, got bullied, often… while, they ‘gave back’, then and there!
Yes, like Danish did, I, too, learnt to sort out my play-ground and class-room
issues without boxing… Yes, soon, things were a lot different, you see…
When I reflect on my ‘timid’
childhood, I feel only grateful. Because, my timidity came from my lack of
self-confidence, low self-esteem. All that I had to do, in order to be able to
deal with bullies in my life, was to focus on building my self-worth… That’s
all. The more I became sure of myself, the lesser I feared the bullies. I realized,
that my job was not to knock them down with my aggression, but to raise myself
up with my healthy self-esteem… As Michelle Obama famously advised: “When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you
do not stoop to their level. Your motto should be - when they go low, you go
high.”
Yesterday, I reminded Danish’s parents, that we all get to encounter the
bullies all through our lives… not just in our play grounds or class rooms.
Yes, there are bullies around us everywhere… from work place to worship place,
and they are there even at their ripe age… They simply don’t evolve. Their inner
ugliness comes from their lack of love for themselves. Because they do not love
themselves, they show hatred and cruelty towards others… Their frustration and
bitterness have now turned them into sadists…
So, Danish, you and I – we all have to learn to deal with the bullies without
boxing… without stooping to their level.
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic.:www.publicdomainpictures.net
Video: Life Without Limbs
Comments