OUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT













“Listen. People start to heal
the moment they feel heard.”

– Cheryl Richardson

“Good Moring Sir. Thank you so much for all the emotional support you have given me each time… You have always given me the strength whenever I have felt low.”

“Good Morning Disha*.  We all need support when we feel low… Nobody is an exception… I was just there, incidentally, as destiny would have it. Don’t become disheartened or bitter about any experiences along your way. Best wishes and love.”

Late, the night before yesterday, Disha had called me seeking some help, and she had turned up, yesterday, early in the next morning, in my office to discuss her ‘problem’…

What kind of emotional support Disha claims I have given her? What are the ‘Low feelings’ she was going through?

The gravity of the problem is not the issue here. The issue is: we all go through problems in our daily life… the big problems and small problems; and, all of us are humans… we have our respective capacities and vulnerabilities, which tell us how much we are able to deal with them… Each one of us responds or reacts to our own problems accordingly…

Hence, Disha’s problems – which she, as a teacher, faced along her daily interactions with parents and students - are big enough to make her feel low. Someone else in her place, with the similar problems, perhaps, may not have felt so low…

That’s the story of our problems!

A few things come out of this ‘routine’ conversation between Disha and myself:

1.   We all have problems and we all feel low at times…

2.   We need to be humble and open to seek help from someone, so that we find strength to deal with our problems…

3.   Help is always available around us…

4.   Others may not – and cannot – solve/carry our problems. But, their empathy and insights do help us to solve/carry our problems…

5.   And, this is very important: We need to express our gratitude to those who provide us help, this emotional support.

Many years ago, when I was going through one of my lowest phases in life, I remember going to a dear friend’s place, early one morning… The night before that, I was sleepless… I would get up from my bed through anxiety… It was very frightening and dark…  My friend heard me out very, very gently and with a great deal of empathy… I was feeling a lot better as I was pouring out my anxiety… And, then, he opened his computer screen and showed me the story of the ‘birth of a butterfly’…

One day, a man was watching a butterfly emerging out of the cocoon. The butterfly was emerging very, very slowly. The man could feel the struggle and the pain the butterfly was going through to come out. He was moved to see the painful and slow process of birth… and, he really wanted to help the butterfly to come out painlessly, and fast. He wanted to rescue it from its pain and struggle.


So, he took a pair of scissors and gently cut open the cocoon, so that the butterfly could come out with least pain and fast. It did. However, that butterfly had to live for the rest of its life crippled, unable to fly.






That morning, my friend did not take my cross on his shoulders… But, he provided me the strength to carry it on my own…

Out of our eagerness to reach out, we, sometimes, try to take on our shoulders, someone else’s crosses… That, my friend wanted to tell me, is more harmful… He wanted to tell me, through the butterfly story, that our struggle and pain in life are Nature’s way of preparing us to fly… become beautiful and strong!

I did not tell Disha, last morning, the butterfly story… But, certainly, I sent her home with the same message…

Disha, in life, there is more to come… more of ‘birth pangs’. But, remember… it’s a ‘beautiful pain’!


*Name changed


GERLAD D’CUNHA

Pic.; Anil Bedi

Video: eyeshadowmaniac


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