Gerald D'Cunha

  “We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes, but very good judges for mistakes of others.” Anonymous     S ome days ago, while I was in my hometown, one of our relatives sent a personal WhatsApp message to me. The message contained only six simple words. Incidentally, when the message arrived, there were six of us in the room. When I first read the message, I derived a certain meaning out of it. I read it again and derived a different meaning… I read it a couple of times more, and, each time, the meaning I was deriving kept changing. I was curious, if others around me would get a similar experience… Every one’s interpretation was different, every time they read it! I thought in my mind, that the proverbial elephant had come to our room… and we were the six blind men trying to touch a part of the elephant and arrive at our own conclusions: Elephant was like a rope… Like a wall… Like a tree-trunk… Like a fan and so on. There had to be a wise man to tell the...

“Arrogance is a creature. It does not have senses. It has only a sharp tongue and a pointing finger.” Toba Beta   T his morning, Rameeta*, who lives in New Delhi, called me up. “Gerry Sir, where have the teaching ideals gone?” she sounded quite upset. “What happened, Rameeta,” I prodded. “My daughter had enrolled to learn Kuchipudi dance under a well-known classical dance-teacher. Just eight sessions… Two of them got cancelled… When I checked with the teacher, if there would be compensatory sessions for the lost ones, she turned wild and gave me a mouthful… Even though, she was unreasonably arrogant and mean, I kept my calm for my daughter’s sake… But, I have been disturbed ever since… Thought I would share with you, just to feel a bit lighter.” Rameeta was my committed, hard-working and zestful student more than twenty-five years ago. She hailed from a very humble household; and despite the financial constraints, she and her brother both completed their Chartered Acc...

  “The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born out of our creativity.” Brene Brown   A famous motivational guru had made this statement: ‘Winners don’t do different things; they do things differently.’ Interestingly, the best-selling author and motivational guru had the sharpest and the quickest business-acumen to copyright this line. So, it’s ‘registered’ under the relevant Intellectual Property Act… Now, you and I can’t claim it as ours… It is his – the great guru’s! Sometimes, I find it so silly when someone claims, that a line like the one mentioned – which is a universal and age-old truth – as his/her property. Yes, I agree and marvel at his/her business acumen… to make a fortune out of common wisdom… Is that creativity? I think, it is. And, if it is, so be it. Many of us have come across this dialogue between a honeybee and a concerned creature: Once, a concerned creature asks a honeybee: “My friend, you take so mu...

  “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it’s the illusion of knowledge.” Daniel J. Boorstin     I really admire people who give me an impression, that they are very ‘informed’ people… which means, they are well-read, well-travelled and knowledgeable. Actually, it’s not their encyclopedic mind that I am impressed with, it’s their eloquent speech – the fine gift of gab. These are the Shashi Tharoors around us… They can hop from one subject to another, just like the grasshopper hops from one blade of grass to another… You wonder: What a mind! What a Man! So, do I envy Shashi Tharoors around me? Yes, I do. Am I lying? No Sir… Seriously, I envy them. “But, why should you envy anyone, who even though knows the entire brahmand and even though can present his knowledge with the grace of Brahma Himself? I don’t know why… But, I, most certainly, get a complex when it goes on around me… “You are an idiot,” said a near one, today, when I expressed...

  “Being challenged in life is inevitable; being defeated is optional.” Roger Crawford   T his evening, on my way home, I met a woman. During the peak of second wave of Covid, she had lost her brother and his wife both (who were in their mid-forties) after battling the dreaded disease.   The deaths had taken place within a matter of two-three days… Their only son, aged 20, was studying abroad, and was unable to attend his parents’ funeral. I knew the family quite well, and this thought was always passing through my mind: “What must be the young man’s state of mind?” … “How must he be dealing with this trauma and life-challenge?” So, when I met the woman, today, for a moment, I didn’t know what to say… I hadn’t met this woman after the unfortunate incident; and, suddenly, when I faced her, I felt it was inappropriate to revive those painful memories. In the meantime, she asked me, “How’s everybody at home? Your in-laws are keeping good health? Are you still worki...

  “I rejoice in the success of others, knowing that there is plenty for all of us.” Louise Hay   O ne of the hardest things to do in our day-to-day life is to truly feel happy when someone around us succeeds. When I say this, some react: “Why should it be hard?” I find it even harder to explain! The only explanation I have come to offer is this: As human beings, we are not fully liberated from our insecurities… We all have our insecurities in varied proportions… I have more, you have less, or vice versa. But, to claim, ‘I am free from my insecurities’, yes, I think, it’s not an honest claim… True, when someone we love, value and adore succeeds, we rejoice as if his/her success is our own. It makes us feel good, happy and proud. On the other hand, when someone not close to us – or who we do not like for whatever reason – succeeds, we feel sad, as if that person has emptied the well of success! So, our rejoicing in other people’s success comes from our belief a...

  “There is stardust in your veins. We are, literally,   ultimately, children of the stars.” Jocelyn Bell Burnell   O ne my dear friends, who is also the mother of one of my students, has a unique hobby: She sends to all her friends the Good-morning messages, every day, with an interesting ‘Did-you-know’ kind of fact. Well, for a person like me, invariably, each one of them is - ‘No, I did not know’! So, each morning, I have this simple opportunity to know one more fact… Yes, at times, I do get fed up and frustrated with myself – or, should I say with ‘my life’? – and ask: ‘How much more is there to know?’! Actually, it’s the distorted amplifier of my inner voice: “Baccha , how little do you know!” This morning, my friend sent this one:   “It’s a lazy Saturday morning. See if you can find the 8 words hidden in the picture… Happy hunting… Good Morning.” There was a post-script: “The answers will be provided in the evening!” I tried scratching my ...

  “Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.” Saint Augustine   ‘S ankat me Venkat’ . That’s what God – the Venkat – means to most of us. When everything is going fine for us, mostly, we remember Him out of a deeply-rooted habit – call it a tradition or ritual. God really makes sense to all of us when we are in trouble – sankat! Well, if what I just said sounds sacrilegious, "Lord have mercy on me – this sinner!” Today is Ganesh Chaturthi… The adorable Bappa is at our doors. I saw this picture doing rounds on social media…     Bappa doesn’t fail to amuse us, fascinate and inspire us… The ‘us’ includes all – young and old, the littles babies even… Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Jains, Christians all love Him. They all believe,   that this Lord with an elephant trunk, listens… That, He is compassionate, approachable and adorable. Hence, they all go to Him in the times of their   tests and tribulat...

  “Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak.” Ma Jaya Sati Bhgavati   I t’s a week now, and I haven’t written a word. Unusual? Yes and No. If I have given to people around me the impression, that writing is like breathing to me, then, it does seem unusual whenever I don’t write… “How can you stop breathing?” I hear people around me asking… Or, is it just, that I am hearing? Frankly, if I don’t write for a few days, or weeks, or months – or never write at all – how does it matter? Who cares? The thought in my head, that when I write, the lives around me brighten up is like the lightning bug who goes around with his bloated head, saying: “Hey, people are able to see because of me!” It’s also like that donkey who carries the sandalwood load proudly, claiming, “Hey, I give the world the finest fragrance!”   N othing is ‘unusual’ about our conscious silence… I may think, that I have a thousand stories to tell or a million disagreements to register… but, wh...

  “A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog… when you are   just as hungry as the dog.” Jack London   T he other day, I was telling three of my young nephews, how,   in my view, ‘sharing’ was one of the best ways to feel good about ourselves in life. I was telling them, that ‘feeling good about ourselves’, also, meant ‘feeling confident’ in life! What, in my view, ‘sharing’ means? Is there something with all of us, that we can share with others? Do we need to ‘possess’ something first, in order to ‘share’ with others? One of my nephews was of the firm belief, that we were able to share only when we possessed enough… I agreed with him, before I could convey what I had in my mind. S haring – call it ‘Giving’ or ‘Charity’ or ‘Empowering’ or ‘Reaching out’ or ‘Touching lives’ whatever, whatever, whatever – comes from the intangible state of our hearts, rather than the tangible state of our possessions. From this paradigm...