Gerald D'Cunha

  “Your talent is God’s gift to you; What you do with your talent is your gift to God.” Leo Bascaglia   I n life, need we do only ‘big things’ to feel good about ourselves? And, need we do things only with great fanfare to find validation? Many a time, doing ‘small things’, quietly, seems not only unprofitable, but also unfashionable… But, trust me, doing ‘small things’, quietly, is the surest way to truly feel good about ourselves. On the other hand, the desire to do ‘big things’ with great fanfare is a bottomless pit… It seldom gives us a true feeling of self-confidence. Therefore, the key to self-confidence is to do small things with a big heart. One way of reaching out to others – by doing small things, quietly – is through our talents. We all know, that our talents are God’s gifts to us. And, as Leo Bascaglia says, “What we do with our talents is our gifts to God.” For example, God has given me the gift of teaching, writing and motivating others. I hav...

  “The final stage of wisdom is becoming a kid again.” Mixime Legace   A dear friend of mine called me, yesterday. He and his elderly mother had been to their native village; and, when he called me yesterday, they had just returned from this trip. My friend was excited to tell me about a good cause, with which he and his mother were getting involved. The primary school, which my friend’s mother attended over seven decades ago, still functions in their village. But, the condition of the school remains much the same… The medium still remains vernacular, the condition of the classrooms still remains basic… The midday-meal service and dependency on the government dole draw only very underprivileged kids learn in this school… The world around this school has changed beyond recognition. Little kids know what mobile phones and computers are, what the internet   and a television are… My friend is a fairly-successful industrialist in Mumbai. He wanted his mother to in...

  “And, still after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth, ‘You owe me’…” Hafiz   I n the latest blockbuster film, ‘Kantara’, I understand, that one of the many things that has left millions of viewers mesmerized is the Bhuta’s (the Demigod’s) shout. I am sure, this shout keeps haunting many of them long after the movie experience… This is really interesting, and it brings a smile on my face… I grew up in a village in Mangalore, and lived there for my initial twenty years. In those days, our village, and the villages around us, predominantly depended on agriculture. People were simple… Christians, Muslims and Jains were in minority. Hindus were   in majority. Yet, we all coexisted, so beautifully. Many Catholic households, like ours,  raised flowers in their courtyard gardens… The highest sale of these flowers took place during   Hindu festivals… The ‘Bhuta Kola’* (We simply called it ‘Kola’ or ‘Nema’) was one such festival/ceremony. It w...

  “Spoon-feeding, in the long run, teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.” E. M. Forster   T here are two students of mine. Let me rename them, for this Post, as ‘Sanskar’ and ‘Dhruv’. Trust me, I am not renaming them according to   the meaning of these new names, or the actual names. They both are fine students, brought up by fine parents, and, yes, being sent to fine schools and colleges. Presently, they are in their final year of college. I had requested one of my friends, a Chartered Accountant, to teach these young boys ‘GST’ (Indirect Tax). As my friend is a busy professional, I did not want my boys to disrespect his time… I wanted to ensure, that the boys had discussed the timings for this week-end with my friend. So, I sent this message to my boys, last evening: “Hello Sanskar and Dhruv, I hope you both have discussed the timings with Sir for this week-end. Please do, if you haven’t.” “Yes Sir, done,” replied Dhruv, immediately. There was no...

  “Those who do not weep, do not see.” Victor Hugo   T he things that make me cry may not be the things that make you cry. Similarly, the way I cry may not be the way you cry… I may cry at the drop of a hat… You may not cry even when a bomb is dropped right at your feet. Let me see it from your perspective, now… You may cry every time you return home after a long stay away from home. I may stay stoic when I do that… You may cry when you see a newborn. I may not… Let me come back to me, again… I may start crying when I am alone, watching a sunset or the restless waves of a sea… You may sit there like a rock. I may cry remembering my lost ones… You may stay stone-like… And, who among us is a good soul? Who is real? The real me is fragile… He cries at the drop of a hat… He cries when he is alone… when he beholds the night sky… when he listens to the quiet restlessness of the waves… He doesn’t require a big reason to cry… The very thought of God’s grace breaks his ve...

  “Pride feels confident in how much it knows; humility is humbled by how much it has to learn.” Collins Hasty   I write these Blog posts in English; and I do it almost daily. I have put together – written/edited/published – more than thirty books for the Dawn Club. I have been teaching Commerce students for over four decades, for which I create material… Yes, I do all this in English… But, English was not my medium when I was in school. I spoke Konkani at home and Kannada was my medium in school. I had a huge fear towards this language, which had added to my inferiority complex. It was only in my degree college, when, inspired by my idol, Prof. B.S. Raman, I was desiring to become a fine teacher and writer like him, that I resolved to overcome my handicap of communicating in English. I was 17 or 18 then. I am 64 now. Even though more than forty-five years have gone by, I still consider, that I have miles to go as far as learning to communicate in English is concer...

  “What you sow, you will reap.” Jesus Christ   E very book, published by THE DAWN CLUB, carries inside it a bookmark. Most of these books have articles written by little kids, young ones and even adults. To me, there doesn’t appear any difference between the little kids and the adults. The young ones and adults, yes, they all come from the same seeds… If the seeds contain love, the society grows in love. On the other hand, if the seeds contain poison, it poisons the society… So, the bookmark inside our every book has this old saying: “You can count the seeds in an apple; but, you cannot count the apples in a seed.” How true! If you and I, the so-called adults, are here today, it’s because of the seeds sown in us, years ago. If you and I are spreading love today, it’s because of the seeds of love and kindness sown in us, years ago. On the other hand, if you and I are spreading hatred and enmity, we need to examine the seeds sown in us, years ago… A friend of ...

  “We all have a blind spot; and it’s shaped exactly like us.” Junot Diaz   I took some time to grasp the meaning of the quote mentioned above. Our blind spots are those flaws of ours which we are not able to see. I can hear you say this: “No. Blind spots are those flaws of ours which we are unwilling to see… Unwilling to accept.” The above quote reminds us, that each of our blind spots is there in us, exactly how we  would want it to be there through our vanity. It takes real strength of our character – honesty, humility and innocence – to bring us to see, accept and take corrective action about our blind spots… Vanity complicates this process, you see! S ome days ago, I was at a family gathering. It was a beautiful evening, with good food, singing and bonding. The party was almost over… Just before we were to leave, one of my sisters-in-law (who is known for her straight-forward attitude) yelled, “Hey, there is a hole in your sock!” Before I could look dow...

  “Trying to change people, and their views, is like throwing paper into a fire.” Anthony Liccione   “S ir, why are these kids so out of focus?” A dear friend of mine, who teaches young college kids, messaged me, last night. I knew, that my friend was frustrated and had lost her cool with some of her students. As a teacher myself, I could sense this pain immediately and assured her that I would be calling her in an hour. By the time I called my friend, she had regained her composure. She described to me about the confrontation she had just had with a girl student. My friend was upset about the lack of respect and remorse in this young girl… The casual attitude towards studies had annoyed my friend and the girl was defending this attitude and, to the contrary,  blaming the teacher. My friend, who is a passionate teacher and an idealist, was feeling let down and hurt… “What’s wrong with these kids? Why are they so out of focus, Sir?”… She was asking me.   All t...

  “All bad behaviour is really a request for love, attention or validation.” Kimberly Giles   W hat is 'Be real', really means? To me, it means 'Be human'. Which means, enough of playing ‘God’… This place called ‘Earth’ is a real world, and not a ‘Paradise’. People are ‘real’ here and not angels. So, ‘Be real’ means, be able to deal with people around you realistically. This shows the way I deal with two kinds of people around me… The first kind includes those who are empathetic, and who listen to me without judging… advise me with a genuine concern and not with a sense of manipulation. They make me open up, express my fears, anxieties, sorrows as well as joys freely; and, in the process, they help me feel good about myself. Yes, this validation is very crucial for me to feel ‘real’ – a human. Unless I am able to do it with genuine people around me, I will suffer inside… feel deprived of love, care and concern. So, this is ‘good validation’. On the oth...

  “How a person wins or loses is much more important  than how much a person wins or loses.” Tom Krause   “S ir, is there a class today?” Mehul’s* mother asked me, half-an-hour before the class. “Yes Ma’am, there is,” I replied, “In fact, they are expected to write a Test, today.” “My son is glued to the T.V.,” the mother updated the position at home, “He is expecting India to win the Semi Finals.” I was surprised to see Mehul in the class five minutes before the Test time… “What happened to the match?” I asked… I was not following this World Cup series, and I didn’t even know, that it was the Semi Finals yesterday, and Pakistan team was already in Finals… Mehul seemed visibly shattered… That’s when I guessed, that our team had lost… Mehul is 17. I have been seeing this mega disappointment for years before Mehul was born… When India loses to Pakistan, it’s just not palatable… “How can we lose to Pakistan?” is the painful question… “It’s okay if we lose; ...

  “Learn as if you were to die tomorrow; learn as if you were to live forever.” Mahatma Gandhi   A n hour ago, I was talking to my younger brother, Rony, over the phone. Rony, along with his wife, Meena and son Jeswin, have been living in Kuwait for several years. Just a few weeks ago, Jeswin moved to Malaysia to pursue his degree course. They have made arrangements in a rented apartment for Jeswin, who, presently, lives all alone in this apartment. “What about his food?” I asked Rony, this morning, “Does he know to cook?” Rony laughed and asked, “Didn’t we learn to cook, Dattu* ? He will learn.” Times were different for every generation. My grandparents lived in their own time and they had to deal with their on struggles. The same for my parents, the same for us… and, the same will be for our own children, too. I remember my parents, particularly my mother, worrying about me when I was moving out of my protective nest to settle in this big city. She did worry ab...