Gerald D'Cunha

  “Thank God, I found the ‘Good’ in goodbye.” Beyonce Knowles   T he plastic bucket-chair, on which I am presently sitting and typing this Post, was bought by me more than three decades ago. I had bought four such chairs, and all four are still sturdy. The friend, from whose shop I had bought those chairs, continues to be my friend… and, his chairs, too, continue to be my loyal companions. To me, what is a chair for, except for sitting on them and typing my posts, the way I am doing now? Even if I replace this chair with a sophisticated chair, say worth 25 K, will it make any difference to my writing work, my stories, my simple joy? I realized it long ago, that the kind of chair I was using had no relevance to the kind of stories I was writing. So, I continue to use the same-old bucket chairs… They are still going strong, just as my storytelling mind does… Our possessions are all there for our temporary use… When we let them possess us, use us – comes the danger… t...

  “Of all the choices you make each day, none is more important than the choice of a positive attitude.” Germany Kent   I f I am not comfortable with the world outside, it only signifies, that I am not comfortable with my own self. This truth hits me, time and again, when I see myself irritated and reactive. Things don’t always go the way I want them to… Still, I want them to. The result is the inner conflict. When there is inner conflict, it’s difficult to stay positive… stay hopeful. Bitterness creeps in. The world outside looks dark… The challenge, therefore, is to clean up my own cobwebs… The world outside would, most certainly, appear clean. You and I can learn to stay positive by dealing with our daily little irritations… By being less judgmental, by rejoicing in others’ success, by being a little more patient and tolerant, by being kind to, both, ourselves and others, by staying away from all toxicity, by not letting others’ drama to disturb our own pe...

  “Faith is walking in the dark until you find the light.” Geraldine Vermaak   “W hen you know what you want, the whole Universe conspires in your favour.”   I have used this statement so often; and I have, also, heard people using it so often. But, if I have to cite   examples, as to how Universe has conspired in my favour through my 63-year-old journey, I can write an entire book on it! So, in this Post, let me cite just one such example… I must’ve been 22-23 at that time. Fired by Napoleon Hill’s   philosophy – ‘Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve” (‘Think and Grow Rich’) -   I had decided to burn every bridge behind me and focus on only one dream of mine: ‘to start my own teaching space’ – call it a coaching center or a coaching empire, or just ‘tuitions’… I knew clearly what I wanted… Where I wanted to go. But, I was absolutely new in Mumbai… lived with my hand-to-mouth relatives, had no strings to pull, no   exp...

  “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” Old Proverb   M any years ago, I had a poster displayed in my classroom with the above message. Young boys and girls, would get puzzled… “If you love ‘someone’,” they would understand it that way. So, the advice to set him or her – who they were madly in love with – free would not go down well with them… Detachment is for the old and the sick… This was their (Young ones’) age – the age of attachment. So, after some time, I stopped displaying this message… “Let them enjoy life… Detachment can wait,” I concluded. Attachment mercifully comes in many forms: Attachment to wealth, people, beliefs, ideas, ideologies, opinions, places, creations and so on. I don’t think, it is possible – rather practical – to rid of our every attachment. Yes, as an ideal -   as a philosophy - detachment is very sublime. But, every one of us is a mortal here on earth; therefore, attached ...

O ften, Jiddu Krishnamurti used to say, “Fear exists only in relationships.” I had heard that before from other teachers, too… when they said, that fear stemmed from our attachments. As a young man, I would appreciate the deep meaning of this wisdom. However, like the vast majority around me, I would find it extremely difficult to go about my life by detaching myself from the world around me… The world around me included my nearest and dearest ones… my friends and relatives… my associates and neighbors… my community people - religious, political, social - etc. Well, my world was not made up of only people… It included all my possessions… my dreams, beliefs, ideas, opinions, even feelings… Yes, as a young man – why as a young man, I want to say as a human being on this planet – I would wonder whether it was possible for anyone to live life without creating around him this web called ‘relationships’. The very post that I am now writing is a clear proof for what I...

Pic.: Pradeep Nanda M y wife was telling me, this morning, about something nice she had read yesterday. It was an extract from a Japanese author’s book which had appealed to a vast audience in the West, particularly in the US. My wife told me, that the book was about how to keep one’s wardrobe neat and tidy (An American closet can be as large as an Indian bedroom!). And, if one kept dumping in such a wardrobe all sorts of stuff, you can imagine what a colossal dumping-yard the wardrobe would look like! So, apparently, this Eastern author had shared some simple tips through which one could keep the closet free of clutter… neat and tidy. What had appealed to my wife, when she had read about it, yesterday, was this simple, yet profound, tip: “What brings you joy, keep it… What doesn’t, give it away.” I do not know why my wife remembered, after so many years – and of all the things we had stuffed and unstuffed in our wardrobe – that cute-little sweater of our son. When m...

Pic.: Sheela Krishnamony I f we closely observe, our anxieties and fear about our future come from our attachment to people, possessions and positions in our lives. So, as Jiddu Krishnamurti would, often, say, “Our fear exists only in our relationships!” Yes, our relationships with people, possessions and power.. Living in this world means living in relationship with what the world brings for us – people, possessions and positions. We can’t live in isolation... in detachment. Detachment is easier said than done! But, then, a deep awareness, that all things in Life are perishable, and all relationships bring with them the web of attachment, and, thereby, that perennial  fear of losing them... and worry. Yes, this understanding is of great help to maintain our poise and ability to enjoy whatever Life brings for us, everyday... The people in my life – no matter how dear and near they are to me – will leave me, one day... My possessions – no matter how vast in siz...

Pic.: Chetna Shetty A tul*, a good friend of mine, has two children. The daughter is about to complete her studies in Law and C.S. and is expected to start working in a corporate set-up, soon. Incidentally, I had the privilege of teaching both Atul and his daughter... and, I am very happy to say that they are wonderful souls... very committed, humble and respectful. Today, Atul had called me up to discuss something about his daughter. During the discussion, he told me that they had lately admitted their son in a prestigious boarding school in Himachal Pradesh. A family friend, whose son studied in this school and did exceptionally well in his all-round development, had inspired them to take this decision. So, that explained to me why Atul and his wife took this crucial decision to send their only son when he was in his ninth standard. “Sir, what is your view on this decision?” this morning, Atul asked me with a little apprehension. “Hey Atul, now why do y...

Pic .: Malabika Ganguly “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” Havelock Ellis   O nce, the fishermen in a village had just returned after their daily catch. As they were busy sorting out the fishes, a Kite swooped down from the blue sky, caught a small fish by the beak, and shot up into the skies. Immediately, a hundred crows appeared from nowhere and began to chase the Kite, making a crazy commotion in the sky... To whichever direction the Kite flew, the crows followed it.... Kite flew West, crows did, too... Kite flew East, the crows did, too... Kite zoomed high up, the crows did, too... The Kite dived deep, the crows did, too... Finally, the Kite, tired and frustrated, could fly no more... So, it decided to drop the fish... The moment the fish was dropped, the crows left the Kite alone, and went after the falling fish! The Kite quietly settled down on the branch of a nearby tree... From there, watching the insane ...

Pic.: Unnati Jiandani O ne of my friends’ father fought a court-case against his tenant for twelve long-years… and, finally, lost it. The house went to the tenant… My friend’s father couldn’t recover form the shock, till he died! Some years ago, when our servant was doing the house work, our TV fell off its stand and broke into pieces. We not only got mad at our servant, but we, also, kept worrying about ‘our loss’ for al long time! Years ago, a neighbor of mine was fired by his boss. He fought for his ‘job’ for full five years, only to lose at the end. He not only lost his job, he also lost his precious time, money and peace of mind. He hasn’t recovered from it, yet! Why do we cling, so desperately, to our material possessions… to our status, our positions? Why is it so difficult to love these things, yet, remain free from their bondage? Does attach...