Gerald D'Cunha

  “When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” ―  Maya Angelou   O ne of my childhood memories, which, often, flash before me -– particularly when I try to navigate through the darkness, both, physical and metaphorical –- is that of uncle Gilbert, who lived in our neighbourhood in Mangalore. It was the mid-sixties; I must’ve been a kid of age 7 or 8. There was no electricity in our houses… The kaccha lane, that led to our parish church, was pitch dark in the nights… The lane was untarred, rough and uneven. Uncle Gilbert, who was in his late thirties or early forties, lived halfway through this lane. He was fully blind. Yet, he would never miss a single mass or church prayer service, be it during the day, or be it during the night. With the help of his stick, he managed to go to church, and come back on his own, every single day. Many times, some of us, including little kids, would offer our hands and walk with him. He would keep us engaged...

“What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.” ―  Martha Graham   “H ow is the situation now?” I checked with this person, last night, “Time heals,” I added. “Situation is the same; but, I am coping.” The person replied, this morning. “Cope the best way you can; it won’t leave you weak. Trust me,” I consoled. “Keep me in your prayers,” the person wrote. Of course, I would. But, as you know, like most of us do, I, too, won’t go my knees before a picture or idol of God and pray, “O God, have mercy on my friend.” There is no need for any such prayers… “How’s the situation now? Time heals.” --   Was it not my prayer in itself? When my troubled friend tries sincerely to cope with his/her situation, I think, sooner or later, the situation ‘will change’. Meanwhile, you and I have our own ‘situations’ to cope with… and, we find ourselves saying the same thing to our own well-wishers: “Please keep me in your prayers.” At the end of ...

“Either you vegetate and look out of a window; or you activate and try to effect change.” Christopher Reeve   M y wife and I have watched on last two Sundays, back-to-back, two out-of-this-world movies – ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’ and ‘Superman’. You see, it’s best to get lost in these fantasy worlds, now and then, knowing very well, that neither the dinosaurs nor the Superman live in this ‘real world’. But, when you wear those dark 3-D glasses and transport yourself into the fantasy worlds – yes, yes, yes, it can be the best medicine for  your worried and wounded souls… The Jurassic Park and the Superman movies we had watched years ago – for the first time – and, now, these latest ones – yes, they did succeed in captivating our hearts. May they continue to do so for centuries to come… The child in me doesn’t want to grow up… That’s something nice, na? L ast evening, on our way to the multiplex to watch ‘Superman’, I fondly remembered Late Christopher Reeve. He was the first Sup...

  “Running a marathon with a backpack is tough and may hinder you from winning the race. Don’t let the baggage of your past   - heavy with fear, guilt and anger – slow you down.” Maddy Malhotra   T here is a couple I know. They are in their mid-seventies. Everyone who knows them says, that they never fight, never even argue… The husband, particularly. Well, because several people say that, including the grown-up children of this couple, I have to swallow my doubt about it. I am compelled to believe, that there is a sizable number of humans on this planet, who behave gently even when things don’t go right in their lives… I said, “When things don’t go right in their lives”… Didn’t I? When things go right – when we are not challenged – it’s easy for all of us to behave gently – speak gently and act gently… That’s easy. But, when our chips are down – when things don’t go the   way we want them to – yes, that’s when our character is tested… Remember the ...

  “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain   A fter concluding my regular Accountancy class (Class 12) at 5.30, last evening, I was to hurry up to take a session on ‘Personality Development’ for the underprivileged students in a nearby slum area (Organized by an NGO). Some 20-30 kids were expected to be there. The 17-year-old Arfaat had attended my regular Accountancy class, and he was to accompany me for the PD session, too. As it was pouring heavily, I requested Arfaat to get an autorickshaw to my classes. In a few minutes, Arfaat returned, drenched fully despite a wind sheeter he wore… “Where is the auto?” I asked him. “Sir, it is there,” he pointed to the auto waiting a few meters away from my classes. “Ask him to come in,” I said to Arfaat… Arfaat, my gentle-natured student, went back to the auto and conveyed my request… Through the heavy down pour, I could see the a...

  “Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience; knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.” Hal Borland   I have narrated this incident several times before, while dwelling on the subject of patience… Some twenty-five years ago, I had been for a check-up at a Cardiologist’s clinic. This doctor happened to be someone who admired my work and cared for me as a person. I was there at his   clinic during the peak hours of his consultancy, and several patients were waiting for their turn to come… The doctor seemed not at all affected by this. After completing my check-up, he started discussing about health and well-being in a holistic context… “You are still young, and you’re truly needed around,” he said. Then, he went on to motivate me to look forward to living with zest and resolve… The doctor had already given me a great deal of his time and care. But, I was feeling restless, and guilty, too. “Doctor, you have so many patients waiting there outside,” ...

  “All bad behaviour is really a request for love, attention or validation.” Kimberly Giles   W hat is 'Be real', really means? To me, it means 'Be human'. Which means, enough of playing ‘God’… This place called ‘Earth’ is a real world, and not a ‘Paradise’. People are ‘real’ here and not angels. So, ‘Be real’ means, be able to deal with people around you realistically. This shows the way I deal with two kinds of people around me… The first kind includes those who are empathetic, and who listen to me without judging… advise me with a genuine concern and not with a sense of manipulation. They make me open up, express my fears, anxieties, sorrows as well as joys freely; and, in the process, they help me feel good about myself. Yes, this validation is very crucial for me to feel ‘real’ – a human. Unless I am able to do it with genuine people around me, I will suffer inside… feel deprived of love, care and concern. So, this is ‘good validation’. On the oth...

  “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Buddha O nly a deep awareness of our own imperfection can help us understand our fellow-beings’. “I am imperfect”… “I am fallible”… “I don’t have all the answers”… “I need help from others” – this realization helps us to be kind. Patience, tolerance, empathy, forgiveness and healing… Yes, they come from a deep realization of our imperfection. It is not   possible for us to deeply relate to our fellow-beings, if we do not recognize our own imperfection and need for interdependence? The lesser we see my own flaws and fallibility, the more we distance ourselves from our fellow-beings. Conversely, the more we see our own flaws and fallibility, the closer we get to our fellow-beings. Thus, before we learn to forgive others, we need to forgive our own selves. Compassion towards others begins with compassion to ourselves. This is an important lesson for inner peace. Yet, it’s the most elusive one. Ju...

  I am just asking this: If a fish takes a break from swimming for a few months, will she forget how to swim when she resumes swimming again? Similarly, if an eagle takes a similar break from flying, will he forget how to fly when he resumes flying again? Today, I am set to resume blogging after a gap of over four   months? And, I am just asking the same question: Will I forget how to write my daily, simple stories? The question makes me smile more than think! Just because I did not write my stories for over four months, it did not mean, that I did not weave those stories in my imagination. Writing is just one of the ways in which I am able to tell the stories that are born in my mind. There are many other ways… Silence is one of them! A few days ago, my favourite actor Will Smith walked up to the glittering stage of Oscars ceremony and slapped hard the host, the comedian, Chris Rock. Chris Rock had cracked a distasteful joke on Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett (who s...

“Arrogance is a creature. It does not have senses. It has only a sharp tongue and a pointing finger.” Toba Beta   T his morning, Rameeta*, who lives in New Delhi, called me up. “Gerry Sir, where have the teaching ideals gone?” she sounded quite upset. “What happened, Rameeta,” I prodded. “My daughter had enrolled to learn Kuchipudi dance under a well-known classical dance-teacher. Just eight sessions… Two of them got cancelled… When I checked with the teacher, if there would be compensatory sessions for the lost ones, she turned wild and gave me a mouthful… Even though, she was unreasonably arrogant and mean, I kept my calm for my daughter’s sake… But, I have been disturbed ever since… Thought I would share with you, just to feel a bit lighter.” Rameeta was my committed, hard-working and zestful student more than twenty-five years ago. She hailed from a very humble household; and despite the financial constraints, she and her brother both completed their Chartered Acc...