Gerald D'Cunha

Once again, I am writing on the same subject: “Fear, Anger, and Jealousy… Why is it so difficult to do away them from my life? How can I separate these feelings from my actions? Kumar likes my articles. I haven’t met him, yet. But, I have a strong feeling: the reason why he likes my posts is that I sound to him very much like him… a real human… filled with the same raw emotions of love and hate, faith and fear, admiration and jealousy… I think, he likes the fact that I sincerely talk about my confusions, my struggles and my genuine yearnings to be good, compassionate and zestful…. Yes, despite all my insecurities, pain and self-doubts. Yes, I think Kumar sees hope in my writings! I find it extremely difficult to separate my emotions from my actions… even though anger, fear and envy are not the emotions to help me produce good actions. Or, is that – they ARE? Kumar could relate it – this dilemma, this drama – to  his life.  In my next ...

There is a simple spiritual law. It goes like this:  “When you leave a place – any place - you leave it in a better condition than you found it when you first came in.” Well, it says, ‘Any place’! Just a while from now, Mr. Kamal * and his family are all set to step into their new house. The auspicious moment is just round the corner… and, they have invited my family, too. I have asked the Florist to deliver a lovely bouquet at the stroke of the clock… “Wish you and your family all happiness, prosperity and peace, dear Kamal,” I have written on the note.  What a happy moment for young Kamal and his family! Incidentally, the man who sold that house to Kamal was not liked by anyone around. He had lived in that house for nearly five years… and, during all these five years, he had been a chronic complainant… mean and vengeful… short-sighted and selfish. Well, it is not my perception… It is the general perception of everyone around ...

Mind is weak… And, it loses faith in the goodness Of other people, And fast. At one moment, My mind makes me feel secure Just by a passing thought of a loved one… But, the next moment, Just a skipped call Could make my mind feel very lost and lonely… Am I lost and lonely Because I did not hear my loved-one’s voice? Or, is it because I did not hear my own? Every time I tell my loved-one, “Dear, I care for you”, I do get the reply, “Yes dear, I care for you, too.” Now, the deal is done… I have promised to care for you, And you have done the same to me… Yes, it looks like the pact is sealed… And we shall be forever floating Among the lovely stars in the skies. But then, we are on this trembling ground… Still unable to comprehend The depth of that promise We just made to each other: “Dear, I care for you”! I keep asking you – “Do you still love me?” And, you keep asking me – “What about you?” ...

When I first read the book ‘Loving What Is’, by Byron Katie, I had come to realize that stress in my life is the result of an ‘unexamined problem’. That, what happens in my life does not cause stress in my life, but the story that I weave around it , in my mind, does. So, she urges us to write down, as clearly as possible, our ‘Problem’… what we think as the cause of our stress… and she leads us, through a very therapeutic inquiry, just through her four simple questions… Mrs. Katie calls this inquiry - 'The Work'. By the end of dealing with these four simple questions… yes, when we have answered sincerely these four questions, we will be left with nothing or no one to blame! We realize that  it is our life, and, hence, it is our business… Situation changes when its perception changes… Till then, we would only go crazy wanting to make a cat bark! As Mrs. Katie, so beautifully, tells us that, at the end of all our frantic attempts to do that, the ca...

Two days ago, I had posted an article – ‘The Sky Is Falling’. I had narrated an incident, where I had led a delegation of about twenty respected-members of our Society to the local Police station. I was the Society Chairman, and, that night, I had passionately argued our case before that biased and unfair Police Officer. I had used my raw emotions - all charged-up – and, it had carried the desired effect. We had come back with justice done to us.  But then, I had lost my sleep, that night. The emotional turmoil within had taken its toll. So, in that article, I had spoken about our senior-member Mr. Harwadekar’s concern about me; his loving advice – “Gerry, even if the sky falls on you, you should not panic… you should remain calm… You should not let emotions take the better off you.”  I had humbly taken this advice. And yes, I had confessed it in that post, the next morning.  No baggage left in my soul… I was healed, completely! Th...

When I was in Second-year B’Com, I came across a man in my life. His name was  Norman. I was 19 and he must be 30. He had come up in life the hard way and was a compassionate soul. He showed a great deal of interest in me, in my progress… So, he kept directing me, motivating  me, even helping me financially.  But then, as months passed by, I felt a lot suffocated by his approach… Norman was dreaming for me, planning for me and even funding for me. Initially, I felt very cared for and loved… I felt a lot grateful to this soul. But, as I felt the strain of being trampled upon my individuality and freedom, I began to feel the irritation and resistance in my heart. It was simmering within me for months. Then, one day, around ten of us had been for a picnic. There, some statement this man made towards me triggered off my rebellion. I voiced my discomfort, my loss of freedom – and I found myself bluntly telling Norman : “Don’t manipulate me… Leave me alone!” ...

Mr. Harwadekar is a very dear well-wisher of mine. He is about 85. The night before last, he had observed me talking to a Police Officer. It was our Society matter and about 20 of us – including Mr. Harwadekar – had been to the Police station regarding some dispute. The particular Police officer was absolutely biased and was trying to intimidate us. Our twenty-member delegation consisted of all respected, well-educated and cultured members and I was there, that night, heading the delegation as the Society Chairman. We were right and had all the moral and legal authority to present our case. I began on a very courteous note – gently, yet assertively. But, when I saw the Officer still being biased, I used my emotions… got charged-up – not angry or agitated – passionately charged-up. And, I spoke very strongly with that officer. The good men around me gave me tremendous amount of inner strength and I did not feel the fear or anxiety even for a while. In the end, t...