Friday, January 27, 2012


When I first read the book ‘Loving What Is’, by Byron Katie, I had come to realize that stress in my life is the result of an ‘unexamined problem’. That, what happens in my life does not cause stress in my life, but the story that I weave around it , in my mind, does.

So, she urges us to write down, as clearly as possible, our ‘Problem’… what we think as the cause of our stress… and she leads us, through a very therapeutic inquiry, just through her four simple questions…

Mrs. Katie calls this inquiry - 'The Work'.

By the end of dealing with these four simple questions… yes, when we have answered sincerely these four questions, we will be left with nothing or no one to blame!

We realize that  it is our life, and, hence, it is our business…

Situation changes when its perception changes… Till then, we would only go crazy wanting to make a cat bark!

As Mrs. Katie, so beautifully, tells us that, at the end of all our frantic attempts to do that, the cat  will only look at our frantic face and sing -  ‘Meow’!

When we see the reality… 

as it is… 

the blame and pain, both, come to an end… 

We become stress-free… 

Light. Peaceful.

Mrs. Katie tells in this book, that, in life,  all of us mind only  three businesses:  our own, or someone-else's... or God’s.

She shows us, gently, that whenever we step into others’ or God’s business, we invite stress in our life. "So, step out of others’ business… and step out of God’s… " She reminds us. "When you focus on your own business, you become light, peaceful."

Today, at 6 in the morning, our door-bell rang. I was awake since 4 as I had to correct some Prilims papers. I had called my students to my class at 8 am today to collect the same. So, when I opened the door, I saw a middle-aged lady and her young son standing outside. They seemed a bit agitated. A tree had fallen on their car at 5 in the morning and damaged it badly. 

Now, I was the Hon. Chairman of our Society and I had to deal with the situation. My concerns: I still have so many papers to correct; I have to shave, take bath, organize my breakfast and lunch… So, the first reaction was ‘irritation’. They wanted me to come and have a look…

 “Why did the Society not cut that ‘dead’ tree before?” they asked me. 

Now, I gently asked the lady, “Ma’am if the tree was dead, why had you been parking your car right under it… Even not allowing anyone else to park his car there?” 

“No, no… Society should have done something,” she argued.

“Ma’am, it is an accident, beyond our control… Now, let’s see what we can do… Give me some minutes, I will  put somebody on the job… I have to leave in a short while,” I pacified.

My colleagues are level-headed. But, none was available to handle it. I left instructions with the Security chief, our garden in-charge and a very helpful and tactful senior member of our Society and I left for my work. 

But then, even after coming to my classes, I kept co-coordinating the ‘crisis management’ over my phone!

Well, I was quite successful. I did feel good about the way I  handled the crisis. But, I was feeling annoyed, stressed out, being encroached upon… and even angry and resentful.

Why did this lady park her car right under that 'dead' tree... even though she knew it could , any time, collapse on her car?”

“Even if it was not dead, who could stop that tree from falling, this morning? Who could stop God?”

“The car is insured… So, whose headache is it to compensate her?”

“Even if the Society has to compensate her, why am I – the Hon. Chairman – taking it ‘personally’ and worried?”

And yes, yes, “Who told me to become the Hon. Chairman, in the first place? Did anybody keep a gun on my head?”

Katie ma’am, you are right… Thank you.
All is well, by now…
The ‘Inquiry’ is over…
I can see the cat saying ‘Meow’… and, that’s perfectly okay…
Yes ma’am… I am loving it…

Loving ‘What Is’!


The image used in this Post is by Ashok Ahuja. He is a professional Photographer and a very dear friend of mine. He is also one of the founder members of The Dawn Club, and, along with his gifted-artist wife, Sudha, has been helping me, and the Club, right from its inception.



Stress does not look like what it is... after reading your blog!

Terrific writing!



Gerald D'Cunha said...

Oh yes, Darpan... Stress is stress due to the story we weave around our so called 'problems'!



Anonymous said...

I liked this post... thank you Gerry.

Keep writing.

Mrs. Mehra

Gerald D'Cunha said...

Thank u ma'am...

Happy, u liked this post.

Pl do read regularly... and help me.