THE NEWNESS IN THE OLD

"Familiarity breeds contempt!"

Yes, it does.

Everything in life, when I become too familiar with, I get bored with… I slowly begin to take it for granted, dislike it… 

And anything I dislike, do mechanically, can never be a source of joy and happiness in my life. 

Well, I know this truth. That, unless I love what I do, love the people I interact with… unless I approach the same work, the same people with a childlike curiosity, with a twinkle in my eyes… yes, familiarity is bound to breed contempt in my life.

If I claim that I have not been bored or tired of my teaching – over three decades – I will be simply lying. Teaching was, is and will be my sole passion. But, then, because I keep doing the same thing, over and over again, every single day, year after year – I become too familiar with it, fatigued and, at times even frustrated. Like most of us do, I too have often wondered: “Where else will I find my happiness?”

Let me tell you, these moments have come and gone… But, the teacher in me has stayed for ever!

The same rule applies in all the relationships. All people who are close to us – with whom we become too familiar with – we take them for granted. We become over-reactive with them, impatient, cribby… and, bored, yes, bored!

But, I know, teaching is my profession, my choice, my love… Nothing else is. Even in my writings, I am still a teacher…

So, again and again, the realization dawns upon me: that, the key lies in finding ‘newness’ in the old, the freshness in the familiar… Yes, in approaching my work, each day, as if it is the first day… with a deep sense of gratitude, wonder and awe!

The same key holds good for all my relationships: I must approach each one of them as if I am meeting them for the first time in my life – or, like a dear friend after years and years  – Yes, I must keep the freshness, the element of surprise… and awe.

No, it is not possible to apply it all the times… But, I know, that’s the only way, the only key!

A famous Zen quote tries to convey this truth in a mystical manner:

“Before enlightenment, I was cutting trees and chopping wood;

After enlightenment, I am cutting trees and chopping wood!”

If I am human, it is okay to be tired about things I do. It is okay to take people in my life for granted… 

It is okay to feel frustrated and declare, “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence!”

Because, through this very awareness of my human traits, I am able to chance upon the precious wisdom: “No, buddy, the greener grass on the other side is only an illusion… Green is very much here… and, now. Pray for the new eyes to see the same reality!”

Familiarity not only breeds contempt… It also breeds wisdom. The enlightenment!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Vivek D'Cunha