WHAT IS THE REAL STORY?









Other person does not irritate me… No, he cannot!


No behavior of another person… no words… whatever those words may be, and however they may have been uttered… can irritate me. 


The words have no power to hurt me, upset me… and make me angry.


Someone’s behavior just can’t do it either...


On the contrary, I may end up enjoying – getting a lot pampered – by what is being said by him… and, his behavior!


If I like the person, I really do not mind his words. I know he means well… and, that’s it. Not much is needed in the form of explanation or justification or clarification. The fact that I like the innate goodness of the person supersedes everything else… 


I suspend my judgment…


I cease to study his intentions…or motives…


I drop my need to control him or manipulate him…


I know he is a good person… means well for me… I respect him, honor him and love him for what he is…


So, when I respect him, honor him and love him, where is the time to judge him, analyze him or study his intentions?


Someone’s words hurt me, upset me or anger me only when I start ‘interpreting’ them through the filter of my own mind… Yes, when I start making ‘stories’ out of them! For every wound someone’s words have inflicted upon my heart, there is a ‘story’ weaved by me about it… For every thought of offense, annoyance or anger, there ‘is’ a story. Without a story, nothing – no words, no gestures and no behavior of any one on this earth – has the power to cause even a small ripple in my heart. 


So, the next time, when someone says something about me, what should I be concerned with?  

 
I may be an ‘experienced’ teacher… and, I may come about before the world as a ‘mature’ person… But, believe me: we all are susceptible to the human weakness, the weakness of our minds. Mind’s nature is to judge, analyze and interpret… Its nature is to view the world through the prism of the past. Likes and dislikes are stored in memory like a cow storing its food… to draw it later and munch… Yes, our mind stores these past experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant ones, and it makes us draw them, again and again and again… 


The past experiences – however pleasant or unpleasant they may be – can not help us now. They just can not. All our troubles stem from clinging to or operating from our past experiences. If past experiences make me form strong opinions about other people, ‘classify’ them, ‘brand’ them – then, the food that I draw from this past storage – is bound to be a poison.


I can not fully appreciate another person – value him, admire him, respect and honor him… love him and learn from him… grow with him – if I keep judging him through the prism of my past experiences. Prejudices are born out of my past experiences… through my ‘presumptions and perceptions’, to be precise. 




 









Everything under the Sun has become what it is, to me, through a story.


The Bible is a ‘holy’ book… to me. 


Jesus is born to a ‘Virgin’… to me.


Ravan is hated in my country… but adored in Sri Lanka…


The caste and class bias is rampant even in the jungles. Even the tribal have their own!


So, what irritates me, hurts me, angers me – the other person or my per-conceived notion about him?


What is the real story?




GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: MLR

Comments

Simmi said…
You have voiced what my mind has battled for years!!! Thanks u.

--- Simmi
June 8, 2012 at 11:51 AM
Gerald D'Cunha said…
Thanks Simmi,

Love,

GERRY
June 8, 2012 at 12:08 PM
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