Gerald D'Cunha

Pic.: Chetna Shetty “Don’t bring up the past of a person who is trying to improve his future.”  - Unknown S ounds familiar? My friend, Deepak, had shared this quote, this morning. The moment I saw it, I could sense the familiar mixed feelings in my heart … I have, often, felt angry when people in my life - despite knowing that I have been trying to improve my future, putting behind my past – have kept bringing up my past … Yes, it has only derailed the process of change. And, often, I have been guilty for bringing up the past of someone … yes, despite knowing that he has been trying to put behind his past and improve his future. Past is a grave. If I try to dig it, I know what to expect … Yet, often, I do it in my  times of ignorance … mostly when I am hurt, annoyed or insecure … when I am trying to get even, trying to settle score … when ego clouds my thinking … And, I know, whenever someone has done ...

Pic.: Vinod Krishnan O ne of the hardest lessons – and, in my view, the most priceless one – that we all have to learn early in life is this: How to keep the keys to our inner peace in our own hands! And, come what may, never, ever to hand them to someone else – no matter who he or she that person is… And, no matter what the other person has done to us… whether duped us financially, or ditched us emotionally… whatever, it is… The early we learn to get over the setback, the loss and the related grief, denial, guilt or anger… yes, the early we learn to get hold of ourselves… refuse to be bogged down by the so-called injustice, betrayal or hurt, the  better  for us… We have to remind ourselves, again and again: Nobody can take away our peace without our own consent! A s I write this, the images of a couple of dear-ones come before me… A forty-five-year-old man has been a very hard-working and sincere soul I have known. Recently, one of...

   Pic.: Chetna Shetty “We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.”   ―   Rick Warren “P ast is dead and buried,” we, often, say. Obviously, we are talking, here, about our unpleasant past. So, whenever we attempt to dig-up our pasts, in the midst of our bitter arguments, we only end up digging up those graves... yes, where the bones will revive our painful memories... Let the sleeping dogs sleep! And, if we try to disturb these sleeping dogs, we should be able to deal with the trouble we are going to invite for ourselves! We know why we should not disturb the sleeping dogs... Why, in our own best interest, we should let them sleep... Still, when it comes to our sleeping pasts, we act foolish, at times... We embark upon the misadventure of digging-up our pasts, those graves of our unpleasant pasts... Well, some say, “We should talk it out.” We should talk it out, certainly,...

Pic.:Unnati Jiandani T wenty years ago, my class teacher insulted me before my classmates. I still hold a grudge against her! I still ask others – “How is she, is she still the same?” And, when someone describes, how the Principal pulled her up one day, Or, how a bully student made her cry the other day, I feel thrilled, satisfied! In my SSC, I got beaten up by one of my classmates after a heated argument. We joined different colleges; but, I still bore my vengeance… and, after four years, I went with my college friends to take my revenge! The other day, when I tried to get in from the front door of a BEST bus, the driver screamed in front of a busy crowd: “Get lost; there is a door for you behind.” I was stunned, speechless! I got in from the door behind, but steam building up from inside… a thousand thoughts passing through my mind… waiting for some chance, waitin...

  Pic.: Anand Ashokan “Each day is a new day – the gateway for your tomorrow. Wake up each morning with a resolution to make the day the most wonderful one. Your tomorrow should be founded on such a wonderful Today, Not on an unpleasant Yesterday.” T oday is the day… and, it is sensible to make the most of it… So, ‘Carpe Diem’ … Seize the day! Today is the day to dream, decide, plan and work… Today is the day to trust, hope and soar… Today is the day to amend - let go, forgive and be healed… Today is the day to thank, share and celebrate… Yes, today is the reality - God has blessed you with it, already… ‘The Present’ as they call it… a priceless gift! Today is a new day – the gateway for your tomorrow. If you want to see an amazing tomorrow, make this day – today – an amazing one, first… Wake up each morning with a resolution to make it a wonderful day, an amazing day… Yes, you c...

Other person does not irritate me… No, he cannot! No behavior of another person… no words… whatever those words may be, and however they may have been uttered… can irritate me.  The words have no power to hurt me, upset me… and make me angry. Someone’s behavior just can’t do it either... On the contrary, I may end up enjoying – getting a lot pampered – by what is being said by him… and, his behavior! If I like the person, I really do not mind his words. I know he means well… and, that’s it. Not much is needed in the form of explanation or justification or clarification. The fact that I like the innate goodness of the person supersedes everything else…  I suspend my judgment… I cease to study his intentions…or motives… I drop my need to control him or manipulate him… I know he is a good person… means well for me… I respect him, honor him and love him for what he is… So, when I respect him, honor him an...

It happened, once again, just a while ago… Maybe  the  hundredth time… Maybe more! What is that? That, my ‘Past’ doesn’t exist… except in my mind… That, it doesn’t come up – doesn’t visit me – unless I ‘invite’ it… Rather, unless I desire to ‘revisit’ it. That, my Past – whether pleasant or unpleasant – is all ‘lived’ and gone behind… Clinging to it only adds mess in my life. Yes, both pleasant as well as unpleasant memories when clung to. They only curtail me from embracing this Present moment – fully… They make me ‘look back’ and repent, regret, miss, crib, blame, seethe and ignore what is in hand, what is being given, what is being bestowed and blessed upon… That, my Past doesn’t teach me unless I want to learn from it… Unless, yes, unless I am brutally honest, that I want to learn from it.  That, most of the time, it is my desire to get even with someone that takes me back… Or, I use my Past as a convenient excuse t...

We , often, say: "We should learn from our past experiences... and move on in life." I think, our Pasts - whether pleasant or unpleasant - have only so much to offer us: a learning experience... Yes, just like our Play School or Kindergarten experiences...  To hold on to such experiences, and not allow ourselves from savoring the present-day experiences, is being dumb... Yes, to say the least. It is the most self-destructive act we carry out on ourselves… and, in the bargain, allow our own act of ‘ignorance’ to rob us of our simple bliss of existence. We do. Most of us do… And, we do it again and again… and over and over again! Yes, that's what most of us do. We cling to our Pasts, mostly the unpleasant ones, and we keep ruining the joy of our present moments...! The mind is so embroiled in the Past unpleasantness, that however great promise the Present holds for us, we still refuse to recognize it, savor it... W...

“A rag-picker’s son will always remain a rag-picker As long as he has the vision of a rag-picker.”     ‘Rag-picking’, here, is just a metaphor.  In life, anybody, with any condition, will remain ‘so’ – the ‘anybody’ – unless he breaks himself free from his condition. Yes, break free from his past conditioning. My father was a mechanic. He would come home, each night, with his greasy clothes and hands. I remember, as a young boy, admiring my dad for the hard work he would put to raise us up… to break free his sons from being mechanics in life. Yes, I adored my dad for the hard work. But, I also did not like to see him with his clothes and body soaked in grease… I wanted to free myself from that bondage. My dad also had a huge weakness: he drank like a fish! He would lose hold on himself… and, I remember growing up with lots of humiliation and embarrassment. Yes, it contributed to my shyness and inferiority complex. ...