HAVE I SERVED ENOUGH?

“So, what is a regular day like when you are not doing a film?”

The answer to this question impressed me.

The interviewer, Roshni K Olivera, ends her interview with this question in today’s Bombay Times. And, the interviewee, actress Kajol, gives this answer:

“I feel like I am doing a lot, but if someone asks me what exactly I have accomplished, I don’t know… putting my son to sleep, feeding him, taking care of things in the house amount to a lot of work. But, yes, I haven’t arrested 14 criminals in one day or saved the world or anything of that sort! (laughs).”

Kajol is a famous actress; her mother, Tanuja, was ever more famous in her hey days. And, yes, her macho-husband, Ajay Devgan… yes, they have a lot to harp on as far as the thought that crosses every mind is concerned: “What exactly I have accomplished in life?”

People talk about ‘balance’ and ‘priorities’ in life. Even a great social contributor, such as Gandhi, could not claim such a success at his own home. Jesus Christ is my moving force. But, to live as a son, wife, father or even a brother of such a holy man… would be tough. Traumatic!

Leave alone being like him!

Maybe, that’s the reason why it is said, “No one can live with a saint!”

Well, this Post is not about how to live with a saint; and, certainly, not how to be one!

This Post is inspired by what Kajol has said in today’s interview: “If someone asks me what exactly I have accomplished (in life)… I don’t know!”

This thought has crossed my own mind, several times over! I have said exactly the same, “I don’t’ know!” 

And, I hope, most of us do…

It is easy to tell the world what I have accomplished as a cricketer: a hundred centuries; or as a film actor: three hundred films of which a hundred box-office hits… as a student: first rank in my board exams… as a politician, maybe, I have become the PM of India!

The world can see such accomplishments… They are visible… Measurable.

But, then, 

the question ‘inside’ haunts one, eternally: 

“What I have accomplished, really?”

And, our happiness in life, I believe, largely depends on the answer we are able to find in the silent valleys of our hearts:

“…putting my son to sleep, feeding him, taking care of things in the house amount to a lot of work. But, yes, I haven’t arrested 14 criminals in one day or saved the world or anything of that sort!”

I loved the way Kajol puts her own dilemma in perspective. And, as I was reflecting on what she had said, my mind reeled back to my favorite poet Milton. You know this ‘great poet’ was blind! His sonnet, ‘On His Blindness’, will forever remain deathless:

When I consider how my light is spent

Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,

And that one talent which is death to hide

Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent

To serve therewith my Maker, and present

My true account, lest he returning chide,

"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"

I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent

That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need

Either man's work or his own gifts: who best

Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state

Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed

And post o'er land and ocean without rest:

They also serve who only stand and wait."

  

Have I served enough?

I don’t know. I really don’t know!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Supriya Chavan