WE CAN'T HAVE IT ALL...

The night after the latest Budget was presented in the Parliament, I watched on NDTV an interview with our FM, Mr. Chidambaram. The question asked was something like this: “After many years of success as FM, do you harbor any desire to become country’s PM?”

“No,” was the answer. What Mr. Chidambaram said was what you and I, always, have deep in our hearts. He said, “I have wanted to do some things for years, which I have not been able to: read, write and speak.” He concluded, “So, more than the desire to be country’s PM, the desire to fulfill what my heart longs for will be my priority. Yes, I will read, write… and, if anyone is willing to listen, I will speak.”

“Well, honey, in Life, we can’t have it all, you see!”

That night, our extremely efficient and dignified FM was telling us all, this: “We all can pursue only so much in life… If reading, writing and speaking is calling me, I should say ‘No’ to someone else’s priority for me. I can’t blame anyone or regret later, saying, ‘I wish I could read, write and speak… I can’t do them now, because I am too busy and stressed out as PM of the country.”

This morning, I was teaching a house-wife. Her husband is an officer in a large organization and constantly on tour. At home, she has two young school-going daughters and household chores to do. After some, twenty years of her studies, she has now decided to do a distant-education MBA from one of the universities. As she had lost touch with her studies, she approached me a week ago for help. We took off. But, every day, I hear the same complaint from her: “At home, I find no time to study.”

Only one month is there for the exams. She has a lot of portion to cover… and, I have my own anxiety about how I can deliver. I know she is a busy housewife – mother of two young girls, whose school work, food and tantrums she has to attend to… She has to be both their mother and father, as her husband is absent most of the times… Then, she has to deal with his occasional outburst: “Forget about your studies, that’s not important; house is.”

So, this morning, this woman was complaining, once again: “Sir, what to do?”

“We can’t have it all, ma’am,” I smiled, without even thinking, “It is only so much we all can have!”

I saw the moist eyes… and, they were saying so much… Yes, on behalf of many housewives… many mothers… many working women… and, why, on behalf of the entire humanity. She realized the gravity of the words I had tossed: “We can’t have it all, ma’am… It is only so much we all can have!”

I live in a housing society, where we have a club-house. We have a swimming pool, a gym and an excellent, serene walking area. Still, I haven’t got into our pool a single day in all these fifteen years, nor picked a single weight in the gym… and, might not have gone for walks more than ten times in all these years!

Was it because I have been too busy to do all those things?

And, here I am – right now, writing about all these things: What is this supposed to be... What does this tell – I have idle time to do it?

What we do in life depends on where we lay our priorities…

There are so many people around us – young and old - who religiously go for walk, do yoga, gym and swim. They do those activities, because, those are important to them… They find time, therefore, to do them, even though they are not so urgent. Probably, they all must be having in their lives at least some activities which they want to do, but, for some reason or the other, are unable to. Yes, perhaps, like our FM, they, too, long to read, write and speak but are too per-occupied to do, them, now…

No excuses, please… 

You can’t have a cake and eat, too! 

You either strive to become PM and forget about your reading-writing-and-speaking dream or forget about your dream to become the PM…

“Likewise, ma’am, it is for you and me... No excuses, please!”

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Amrita Jeurkar