THE HAMMER AND THE PIN



















There is a Gambian saying: “If a donkey kicks you and you kick him back, you are both donkeys.”

Whenever I get provoked by others and get into heated arguments with them, and, consequently, when I emerge bruised and wounded… I really reflect on my behavior and ask: Was it necessary for me to get into such a heated argument? Could I have taken some other route to handle the situation? Should each provocation be met with a tit-for-tat? Why am I left so disturbed after the argument, now? Had I chosen to remain poised, chosen my words and action wisely… wouldn’t I have been peaceful?

Yes, I, invariably, go through this sequence of questions after a verbal duel with someone… I wish I hadn’t kicked back the donkey even though he had... I wish I had left him alone!

“Why did I become a donkey?”… I cry out, let down by my own unmindful, impulsive behavior.

To get even with another... This seems like a deep human thirst!

I succumb to it, time and time again… even though I know, in no way, I can quench this thirst… In no way, I can feel good about myself after losing hold on my own emotions. 





A donkey kicks me… and, impulsively, 

I want to kick him back…


I want to get even… Yes, with a donkey!

 

What seems, from outside, as a victory over a ‘deadly monster’, in reality, is a crazy, silly clash with a donkey!











The other day, I had to deal with a very agitated woman… She had been extremely adamant, non-cooperative and insensitive in the past. This time, I had started my conversation in the most polite, yet firm, manner. However, with in seconds, she went on with her usual aggressive track… and, I found my blood boiling inside, all of a sudden! Then, something saved me, quickly. There were two other guys around me and I backed off from the discussion. Luckily, the blood was boiling only in my body… The guys who spoke to the lady, later, simply let her steam go out, smoothly…

Probably, that’s why it is said, “If you want to bring an inflated balloon down, you don’t need a hammer… You just need a pin!”

Had I tried to deflate this woman’s ego, her aggression, through my heavy-duty hammer, I would have only ended up breaking my own head!

It takes a sane man to deal with an insane!

“You are a hot-headed person,” the lady had shouted in the midst of our argument.

“You are not less,” I had leveled the charge before I had backed off…

But, then, wasn’t she right?

If I am committed to peace in my own heart, it is not important whether I was right or not…

She, certainly, was!

Now, tell me – Who is a donkey?



GERALD D’CUNHA

Pics.: Manoj Nair






Comments

Neera Gupta said…
Inflated balloon - the hammer and the pin. Wonderful example. Neera
March 6, 2013 at 8:28 AM
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