"A MAN WRAPPED UP IN HIMSELF MAKES A VERY SMALL PARCEL"







One of the hardest lessons – and a valuable one – I had to learn in life was not to wrestle with people who think too much of themselves, those who suffer from too much of self-importance. There were days, actions of these people – their comments, behavior and provocations – would bring about acidic reactions from me; but, I see reacting less to such people these days… I find myself remain composed… and let them be.

Self-importance comes from low self-esteem. Almost all of us have some areas in our lives where we behave from this space. This means, all of us are human beings and have some insecurities and fears, envy and greed – yes, from this deep-rooted space, we tend to behave the way we do, trying to show to people around us how important we are…

Frankly, I find no need to do that now… And, when others do it, I am able to see them with more compassion…

In last couple of days, I had plenty of occasions to get caught up in this vicious whirlpool of ego-hassle. Some people had been throwing the bait before me… but, thanks to grace and wisdom I have been able to acquire over these years, I was able to leave these people alone… not getting into needless ego-wrestling…

The focus, therefore, was on becoming a more peaceful and loving person… To choose whether to be right or to be peaceful… Whether to crave for more love or to be a more loving person. I am able to find more peace by yearning to be more peaceful rather than being right. Likewise, I am able to find more love in my heart by being a more loving person rather than wanting to be loved more by others.

Let me confess: I have made more blunders in my life by reacting – that is, when I have acted under provocations. But, over the years, I have learnt not to act, not to comment, not to go on giving explanation when provoked. Because, it doesn’t come from a ‘healthy space’… It comes from ‘hurt’. So, it leaves me more wounded… and causes more damage.

“It is not your problem,” a friend of mine counseled me yesterday when I was sharing with him a situation of provocation through self-importance of someone, “it is his problem… You care for yourself; that’s it.”

“A man wrapped up in himself,” said John Ruskin, “makes a very small parcel.” 

I do not want to end up being a ‘very small parcel’.

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Namratha Lobo

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