SO, HOW CAN YOU HELP YOUR MOM, TODAY?

A mother of eleventh-standard student (girl) was here, today, to enroll her daughter in my classes. The young one, a confident and bright girl, has joined a reputed college in the city and, the mother, like a truly involved parent, wants her daughter to do well in the Commerce field. “Sir, my problem is,” she explained to me, “that, I have my second child (son) who is just two-and-a-half-year old, and, I have to do ‘all this’ with him ‘all over again’.”

I looked at the young girl, who was smiling on hearing what her mother was saying.

“So, how can you help you mom, beta?” I asked, “She has done ‘all that’ with you for ‘all these’ years… You are a young adult now. So, tell me what can you do to ease mom’s tension?”

 I repeat these words almost every day in my class: “The greatest gift you can give to your parents, right now, is the trust and confidence in you… You have to make them feel that you are acting responsible for your affairs… that you are able to manage your things well – time, money, studies and relationships … that, they needn’t worry a lot about you - about your goals and future… that, you will not let them down.”

I have experienced that, myself, as a parent: All that I wanted to hear and still want to hear from my own son is the line, “Dad, relax… I will manage my things… I will not let you down.”

With that one line, I know, I will truly rest assured about my own son.

I do not think, it is any different for all parents out there… All of them want to hear from their young ones this one assurance: “Dad/Mom, I am old enough to understand your concerns… Rest assured, I will manage my affairs… I will not disappoint you.”

How about lending a hand to mom in the kitchen, today? How about doing a round or two to the market or bank? How about making your own bed, washing your own plates, taking your plates, cups and glasses from dining place/your room to the kitchen? How about lending a hand in laundry? How about taking a bus or train instead of auto rickshaw or cab? How about making one demand less, today? And, how about making one argument less or giving one back-answer less, today? Can you do your homework, today, without the reminders? Can you spend a little less time on your phone, today? And, if you have a younger sibling, can you help him/her with their studies - a little at least?

The mother of my eleventh-standard student was visibly anxious, today, when she said, “Sir my problem is, that I have my second child who is just two-and-a- half-year old, and, I have to do ‘all this’ with him ‘all over again’.”

My guess is that mother is about 40 now. By the time her second child completes tenth standard, she will be about 53-54. And, as most young ones make their mothers dance around them and worry even till they complete their post-graduation, if this second child, too, does, the mother will be, by then, past sixty – a senior citizen!

So, I asked my student – the older kid – today, “Beta, how can you help your mom?”

Can my student, who is about to enter her college life, make her mom dance and worry less for her… so that when my student becomes a mother in some years, what had gone around would come around?

The mother was anxious: The two-and-a-half-year-old fellow had to be picked from the play-school. She was already late!

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Anil Bedi