Gerald D'Cunha

"There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s.” - Byron Katie in ‘Loving What Is’ S ome days ago, while on a vacation in Goa, my wife and I were on a motor-boat with a few other families. It was a small motor-boat and there was only one young man as its operator. It was supposed to be a trip for an hour, during which, we were to see from the sea a couple of interesting things, including the dolphins. One of the families, (They spoke Tamil), had about five members including a two/three-year-old baby… The man, who seemed to be the father of the baby, was frantically busy clicking pictures of his family, holding aloft the selfie stick… The baby restlessly ran all around, inside the boat… At times, a member of the family, about age 12/13, held the baby on his lap and they leaned to touch the water, giving my wife and me chills in our bones… “Hello there,” my wife and I called out to remind the family...

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ― Abraham Lincoln I have stopped using the phrases such as ‘a stress-free life’ or a ‘problems-free life’. Such life simply doesn’t exist. And, if any one promises me such a life, I simply say, ‘No… Thank you.” When people ask me why I write, I say, “Because, I feel confused, anxious, worried, joyful, sad, mad, angry, irritated, loved, betrayed, strong, weak, secure, insecure, jubilant, defeated… every feeling a human being goes through – and should go through – when he lives on the face of this planet… I tell them, that I write not because I am positive and happy always. But, let me confess: When I was younger, I used to, often, use the expressions a ‘stress-free life’ and a ‘problems-free life’. And, I did try to chase that life… only to be eluded like a mirage! Now, as the years roll by, I, more often, find myself using the expression...

M y last Post was about forgiving and forgetting. It revolved around the popular claim, that it is relatively easier to forgive than to forget. In most of our lives, I think, the unpleasant incidents that have happened in the past may not be of ‘extreme’ kind. Yes, someone may have hurt us by words or actions; someone may have cheated us financially or in relationship; or, it may be some family dispute or rivalry, may be a bad misunderstanding and so on. Sexual abuse and violence are more traumatic… not easy to forgive or forget. There are even more extreme and traumatic experiences in people’s lives… Some of these people have shown us how they have made peace with them… If forgiving someone is tough, seeking forgiveness is even tougher. Particularly, when the offence is very, very grave and trauma is extremely intense… I was raised as a Christian. So, Jesus Christ’s act of forgiveness, even as He was battling for life from his cross, is, indeed, an extreme cas...

“Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future… Forgive and Forget.” - Anonymous M any a time, I think, that one of the greatest gifts God has endowed upon we humans is: the gift of ‘forgetting’… I did not say ‘endowed to elephants and ants’… I said, ‘endowed to we humans’! Similarly, I did not say the gift of ‘forgiving’… I said the gift of ‘forgetting’! The gift of forgiving – let’s call it gift of letting go – obviously, has been glorified since the beginning of Time. Therefore, there is no doubt over its significance in life. But, the gift of forgetting? Imagine, what would have happened to our lives had our unpleasant memories refused to go? Blessed are those, therefore, who have been endowed with the shortest of memories, when it comes to unpleasant events in life… We have, often, heard people saying, “I can forgive, but I can’t forget.” There is truth in this statement… To forgiv...

A while ago, a friend of mine called me up. He said, “A thought has been crossing my mind for over a year now. I have this strong urge to give away five percent of my income to empower a girl child through education. How shall I go about it?” For a moment, I felt a bit surprised on hearing what my friend was saying. He is a creative guy and has been freelancing for over three decades. But, for last some years, the work has come to him erratically, here one, there one. It has been a constant source of tension in the house, and, it had caused a strain on his relationship with wife. Apparently, despite his best attempts to get more work, the work has not been coming his way the way one would expect. So, against the backdrop of this situation, when I heard my friend sharing with me what he was thinking, the natural and the most sincere reaction would be to tell him “Hello, it’s an impractical idea… You are just daydreaming … First, go out and get some work, make som...

I wasn’t aware of the phrase, ‘How’s the josh?” and its response, “High Sir” till I read about it on the newspapers. Apparently, our Prime Minister, Mr. Narendra Modi, had used this while addressing a Bollywood event in Mumbai. Last evening, my wife and I decided to watch ‘Uri – The Surgical Strike’, finally. I said ‘Finally’, because, we were a bit apprehensive about any political overtures… The movie was released on the same day as ‘The Accidental Prime Minister’ was released and there was so much noise about the latter. But, when we heard from every source that ‘Uri’ was a brilliant movie, we wanted to watch it. In the end, PM’s josh did it… He, literally, pushed us to the cinema hall! ‘Uri’ is an action movie, a war movie. As movie buffs, most of us grew on the bollywood or regional flicks, which had the revenge story in them… Yes, ‘Badla’ … “Tera ghar me ghus ke marunga tuje’ … ‘Khoon ka badla khoon se’ … and all that. There is a child in all of us, and, n...

“Those blessings are sweetest that are won with prayer and worn with thanks.”  ―  Thomas Goodwin W hen we ask our near and dear ones to bless our children – when we say ‘Need your blessings’ – do we really believe, that the blessings help our children? Last evening, my friend Tabassum, who, like my wife and me, has only one son, messaged me… “Sir, Mustafa will be leaving for New Zealand tomorrow for higher studies… He needs your prayers and blessings.” Of course, young Mustafa will have my prayers and blessings. I promised my friend, Tabassum, that I would personally meet Mustafa and convey my love, wishes, prayers and blessings. So, this morning, I dropped by for a few minutes at Tabassum’s place. The atmosphere at home was charged with emotions… I could relate to it… Only one son… For over 21 years or so, he was the centre of your galaxy… and, now, the time has come to leave him out of your nest… Yes, the world, today, is not like the o...