THE PRISON AND THE FREEDOM
My last Post was about forgiving and forgetting. It revolved around the
popular claim, that it is relatively easier to forgive than to forget. In most
of our lives, I think, the unpleasant incidents that have happened in the past
may not be of ‘extreme’ kind. Yes, someone may have hurt us by words or actions;
someone may have cheated us financially or in relationship; or, it may be some
family dispute or rivalry, may be a bad misunderstanding and so on. Sexual
abuse and violence are more traumatic… not easy to forgive or forget. There are
even more extreme and traumatic experiences in people’s lives… Some of these
people have shown us how they have made peace with them…
If forgiving
someone is tough, seeking forgiveness is even tougher. Particularly, when the
offence is very, very grave and trauma is extremely intense…
I was raised as a Christian. So, Jesus Christ’s act of forgiveness, even
as He was battling for life from his cross, is, indeed, an extreme case of
forgiveness. “Father, forgive them… For, they know not what they are doing,”
this was how He made peace with his tormentors. When He was going around the
towns and villages preaching, someone had asked Him this question, “Master, how
many times should we forgive our enemies… Seven times?”
“Seventy times
seven times,” was Christ’s instant response!
Don’t keep a count
when you forgive… Just forgive. Yes, this was what Jesus wanted to convey.
Mahatma Gandhi was hugely inspired by Jesus’ teachings. In Sir Richard
Attenborou’s film, ‘Gandhi’, there is a scene which I often revisit… Following
Partition, the communal riots have broken out all around the country… Hindus
and Muslims both are on a burning and killing spree… Situation looks beyond
control and emotions are very, very charged… Gandhi’s appeal has fallen on
hardened hearts… Nobody is relenting, nobody is trusting anybody… Gandhi,
finally, has resorted to his last act – ‘The fast unto death’… Nehru and other
leaders are worried… Prominent leaders from both communities are trying their
best to persuade the violent crowd… It is yielding results… Men and women come
to Gandhi’s bedside and drop their killing weapons… And, this scene that I was
talking about, is about to unfold…Om Puri, who acts as a Hindu, barges inside
the room and throws a roti over Gandhi’s blanket… “Here, eat… eat… I am going
to hell… but not with your death on my soul…” He says, that he has just killed
a Muslim child by smashing his head against a wall, because Muslims had killed
his son… Obviously, he is unable to carry the collective burden of his hurt,
anger, pain guilt… Gandhi says, “There is a way out… Go and find a little boy
who has lost both his parents and raise as your own ... But, make sure that boy
is a Muslim and raise him as one! A
moment to grasp the depth of this advice… the tormented man falls on Gandhi’s
feet and weeps like a child!”
The Australian Christian missionary, Graham Staines, who, along with his
two sons Philip (aged 10) and Timothy (aged 6), was burnt to death by a gang Hindu fundamentalists
while sleeping in his station wagon at Manoharpur village in Odisha on the
night of 23 January 1999. Staines’ widow, Gladys’ world was reduced to ashes in
that one act of insanity… But, she said what Jesus had taught her, “It is far
from my mind to punish the persons who were responsible for the death of my
husband Graham and my two children. But, it is my desire and hope that they
would repent and would be reformed."
Turkish-born Mehmet Ali Agca shot Pope John Paul II four times at close
range on 13 May 1981, with one bullet narrowly missing Pope’s heart. Yes, the Pope
miraculously survived. Agca was nabbed and sentenced to prison life… Just after
two years, the Pope met Agca in his prison cell in Rome and reconciled. On the
31st Anniversary of this ‘prison meeting’, Agca visited Pope John
Paul II’s tomb and offered white flowers!
In May, 1991, after our wedding in Mangalore, my wife and I, had been to
a beach resort called ‘Summer Sands’ at the outskirts of Mangalore. It was a
beautiful resort in those days. Just after we checked out of this resort, we
learnt, that there was tension in the city and a bandh had been called out… The
shocking news of Rajiv Gandhi’s brutal assassination in Tamil Nadu had just
broken out… We, somehow, made it back to our home… But, later, when I watched on
TV the funeral pyre, the disturbing images of late Rajiv Gandhi’s body, being
blown off into pieces, kept coming back to my mind… When I saw his widow, Sonia
Gandhi, and two children, Rahul and Priyanka, (who had barely crossed their
teens), I found it difficult to imagine their plight!
Such moments, in
my opinion, are the extremely traumatic moments… and, those are the ones that
can leave the affected persons terribly troubled… They are not easy to be shed
off… forgive or forget!
Priyanka Gandhi, who
is in news currently, did her own reconciliation act on March 18, 2008 (Seventeen
years after her father’s assassination) when she went to meet Nalini Sriharan, the assassin
of her father, in the Vellore’s special
prison-cell. This meeting had immensely helped both Priyanka and Nalini.
Nalini, who was carrying her baby, Murugan, in her womb, while she carried out
her act of assassination, was a victim of her own circumstances. Earlier, Sonia
Gandhi had pleaded for Nalini’s clemency. In an interview, Priyanka said, that her
mother had made the appeal because she could not let the same tragedy befall
another “innocent child”… “My mother has been through the suffering, then how
could she want the same thing to happen to someone else? Nalini’s child was
innocent. What has the child got to do with anything?” said Priyanka.
Priyanka was
burdened with her own pain, grief and anger… And, she wanted to unburden
herself by meeting Nalini in the prison. Talking about this meeting, she said, “I
realized...here is a woman who had gone through as much if not more than me.”
On the other hand,
Nalini, in her book, recalls being baffled when Priyanka cried. In her own
words, she “did not expect her to cry” because she knows “how painful a tear
is.” She told Priyanka, “Madam, I don't know anything. I won't even hurt an
ant. I'm a prisoner of circumstances. I've never thought of hurting anyone even
in my dreams."
https://www.thequint.com/news/india/priyanka-gandhi-rajiv-gandhi-assassination-killers-forgive-nalini-sriharan
Yes, this is what is
difficult for most of us to accept… We say, “How can you carry out such ghastly
acts and say ‘I don’t know’”… And, that is, also, what makes the act of
forgiveness and reconciliation so difficult.
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic.: From Nalini's book
Videos: YouTube
Comments