IF YOU CAN'T FORGIVE AND FORGET, PICK ONE


















“Do not let the shadows of your past darken
the doorstep of your future…
Forgive and Forget.”
- Anonymous


Many a time, I think, that one of the greatest gifts God has endowed upon we humans is: the gift of ‘forgetting’…

I did not say ‘endowed to elephants and ants’… I said, ‘endowed to we humans’!

Similarly, I did not say the gift of ‘forgiving’… I said the gift of ‘forgetting’!

The gift of forgiving – let’s call it gift of letting go – obviously, has been glorified since the beginning of Time. Therefore, there is no doubt over its significance in life.

But, the gift of forgetting?

Imagine, what would have happened to our lives had our unpleasant memories refused to go? Blessed are those, therefore, who have been endowed with the shortest of memories, when it comes to unpleasant events in life…

We have, often, heard people saying, “I can forgive, but I can’t forget.”

There is truth in this statement… To forgive or not to forgive is a conscious choice we all make. But, to forget or not to forget something, particularly something unpleasant in life, we have no choice… The unpleasant memories return over and over again, giving us the feeling of discomfort and uneasiness... Often, the feeling of pain, sorrow, anger, guilt or regrets. Yes, memories do return… They just pop up from our subconscious mind and dominate the conscious mind…

That’s why, I said, if God gives us the shortest memories, when it comes to unpleasant things in life, our life is, really, a blessed one!

The choice to forgive or to hold on to our hurts, anger and pain, comes when we are hounded by unpleasant memories, when they refuse to go. Yes, to make that conscious choice to forgive, we need to just ‘see’ what holding on to our hurts, anger and pain does to our well-being… We need to ‘see’ how imprisoned our hearts become, how burdened…

Yes, in that very awareness lies the seeds of choice – to let go or to hold on… to feel the joy of freedom or to suffer in the self-created prison...

If what we call ‘grace’ is God’s blessing, then, we need it for both – to forgive as well as to forget. As a wise soul said, “If you can’t forgive and forget, pick one.”

And, I think, that would be enough!


GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Chetna Shetty


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