WHEN WE WORRY OVER OTHERS' BUSINESS


















"There are only three kinds of business in the universe:
mine, yours, and God’s.”

- Byron Katie in ‘Loving What Is’




Some days ago, while on a vacation in Goa, my wife and I were on a motor-boat with a few other families. It was a small motor-boat and there was only one young man as its operator. It was supposed to be a trip for an hour, during which, we were to see from the sea a couple of interesting things, including the dolphins. One of the families, (They spoke Tamil), had about five members including a two/three-year-old baby… The man, who seemed to be the father of the baby, was frantically busy clicking pictures of his family, holding aloft the selfie stick… The baby restlessly ran all around, inside the boat… At times, a member of the family, about age 12/13, held the baby on his lap and they leaned to touch the water, giving my wife and me chills in our bones… “Hello there,” my wife and I called out to remind the family, that it was dangerous to lean out… A couple of times, we both thought, the baby had fallen off into the deep sea…We had closed our eyes… We had stopped breathing!

But, the father with his selfie stick was not at all anxious… Nor were others members of his family. Some members of other families did shout once or twice… But, when they found, that the ones who were supposed to be worried were totally unaffected, they chose to look the other way… Finally, my wife and I, too, did the same… We both looked the other way. We were on the boat to watch the dolphins and not worry about this irresponsible idiot who cared for his selfie stick more than his own little baby…

The boat ride ended… It was not possible for my wife and me to drop our anxiety, though we both pretended to ‘ignore the ignorant’, though we pretended to look the other way… The baby kept coming back to our mind, while we both prayed to God for the baby’s safety… and fumed at baby’s father…

After getting off the boat, I asked my wife, “Now that nothing happened to the baby or to the baby’s family… Why did we both worry about them so much?”

“Chalo, let’s drop the baby from our mind,” said my wife, “Let’s not spoil our vacation worrying over someone else’s business.”

I shook my head and smiled, remembering what Byron Katie said in her famous book, ‘Loving What Is’: When we worry over others’ business (Imagining, what if the baby falls into the sea during our boat ride!) or over God’s business (Imagining what if a storm or tsunami comes during our boat ride!), we experience unnecessary stress – as both these situations are beyond our control… Worrying too much about those situations will only make our life miserable and deprive us of our ability to enjoy life… Yes, we will only spoil our boat rides!

Byron Katie helps us to recognize those situations which are within our control… ‘Our own Business’… and, she urges us to focus our energies to deal with them. It will reduce our anxiety and stress and make us enjoy our vacations… the dolphin boat-rides!







GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Chapora, Goa

Video: Byron Katie/YouTube

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