THE LAST SONG ON OUR TITANIC
Though
I have lived in Mumbai for over four decades, and though I am a Christian (a
Catholic in that), I have never been to St Michael’s Church at Mahim on the day
of the Mother Mary Novenas i.e. on a Wednesday. I have been there on other days
when the church (shrine) is almost deserted… I have sat there alone, in the overpowering
silence… tears rolling down my cheeks, but asking for nothing, saying nothing, seeing
nothing, but feeling everything. I do not remember thinking of whom – Mother Mary,
Jesus, St. Michael or God, the Father. I just do not know what that solitary
moment called, what that presence you feel called… that sense of surrender… ‘Thy
will be done’!
On this Monday,
after my appointment with my doctor at the Hinduja Hospital, my wife and I decided
to spend some quiet moments in the Mahim Church. As I said, only the side door
was open… I could see only a couple of people inside (almost all of them seemed
non-Christians). But, then, just like my wife and me, they, too, sat there in
silence… and, they left. Outside, there was a small place for silent adoration/veneration
(silent worship)… Only the Eucharist is placed in the Tabernacle. The adoration
places are like your personal space with Lord… You hardly find a stool or two
if you wish to sit… but, before the Lord, you carry yourself knowing who you
are… your ego has melted… you are strikingly conscious of your sinfulness and unworthiness.
So, at a place like that, you mostly place yourself on the barren floor… kneel
down, bow down or just prostrate!
On this Monday morning,
when my wife and I went inside the adoration room, I could see a young girl sitting
in one corner with her eyes closed… another young girl sitting on the floor… a
woman sitting in another corner reading something from the Bible… a Muslim
woman prostrate on floor… and, they all said nothing… I do not know what had
brought them there… who they prayed to. All that they and we could understand, and
trusted in, was the assurance written next to the Tabernacle: ‘Do not be afraid…
I am with you.’
Moments like
this are the spiritual moments, and we can experience them anywhere and anytime…
a church, a temple, a mosque, a gurudwara, a synagogue, a monastery, even a
graveyard! God is nearest when we become aware of our mortality… our
helplessness, our sinfulness, our unworthiness. In a sinking boat, there cannot
be an atheist…. And, when our Titanic goes down, we sing : “Nearer, my God, to thee/Nearer to thee/E'en though it be a cross/That
raiseth me.”
I think, of all
the shrines in the world, the closet to Him is our own heart… Yes, when it is stripped
of all its arrogance. And, I think, of all the prayers in the world, the most
effective one is the silence in which we can experience this!
GERALD D’CUNHA
Pic.: Dr.StockPhoto.com
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