YES, IF WISHES WERE HORSES

“Commitment leads to action;

action brings your dreams closer.”

– Marcia Wieder

“If wishes were horses, even beggars would ride them.” I used to, often, display this quote in my classroom. The message was loud and clear: “Don’t just ‘wish’ to succeed. ‘Dream.”

A funnier version of this quote, which conveyed the same message, was, also, displayed, time to time:

“Everybody wants to go to heaven; but, nobody wants to die.”

Wishing is the pastime of the lazy lot… It’s daydreaming. Nothing changes unless you get up and do something about ‘the problem in hand’… And, that ‘getting up and doing something’ has a name. The name is ‘Commitment’.

Just get up and do. Sign up!

A friend of mine called me, the night before last. Her friend, a mother of 16-year-old son, wanted to meet me about her lack of self-confidence and English communication. I told my friend to get the lady call me the following morning. I got the call last morning. The woman said, that, even though she was married to a highly- qualified and well-placed husband and lived in one of the posh colonies around, she constantly remained anxious. While speaking to the strangers, she would, suddenly, get self-conscious and get tongue-tied… That would cause her make more mistakes… Then, she would brood over it, feel bad and low about herself… and, so on. “Can I come and see you Sir, today?” she asked me.

Thus, in a few hours after her all, we met in my office to discuss the issue…

Learning to communicate in English was not the issue with this young mother. She had studied in an English-medium school and had lived in many cosmopolitan cities as her husband’s job was transferable. The issue, as always in such cases, was her low self-esteem. She was so full of self-doubts… She constantly compared herself with others and tortured herself…  “Yes, but,” “What if” and, even tears came to her by the drop of a hat… “How to overcome this problem, Sir?” She kept asking.

“Do you want to overcome it?” I asked.

“Of course, Sir,” the woman responded, “That’s why I am here.”

“Great!” Then, you are already on your way of overcoming your problems,” I said, “The only way to overcome any of your problems in life is by committing to do something about it.”

That’s easier said than done. My experience has, always, been this: People want quick-fix solutions. They want the magic wand to succeed, to solve their problems…

“If my problems have not left me for more than 35 years, will they leave me in 35 days, Sir?”

It is not easy to convince someone who asks such questions. In those 35 years, this woman had not committed herself to solve her problems. She had not taken any action… She had only ‘wished’… not ‘dreamt’.

A journey of thousand miles always starts with one step at a time. The Mount Everest is conquered, too, with one single step at a time... An elephant is eaten, too, with one spoon at a time… And, this woman can build her self-confidence, too, with some concrete action in the right direction… one at a time. English improves the same way… “You cross the oceans, too, the same way, madam!”

“Why do you ask this question?” I had counter-questioned the woman, yesterday. “Why can’t you take one day at a time… do a few things at one time and let them lead you all the way to your goal? If you keep asking this question, why next 35 days, you will not be able to solve your ‘problem’ for the rest of your life… It’s is now or never, madam. Don’t worry about tomorrow… Think about what you can do today. Act. Commit. Get up and so something.”

“Everybody wants to go to heaven… But, nobody wants to die!” Does it ring bell?

And what about the other one: “I wishes were horses, even beggars would ride them!”?

GERALD D’CUNHA

Pic.: Chetna Shetty