God hasn’t made all five fingers alike… Nor has He made me and my four
brothers, alike. We five are as different as our own five fingers. Some of us,
including me, are very shy – very introvert. Maybe, it’s come from our mom’s
genes. And, some of us are open - very extrovert. Yes, maybe, it’s come from
our dad’s genes…
Why five children of
the same parents are as different as cheese and chalk, yes, it shall, always, remain
a mystery to me!
I remember my
childhood. I, always, hid myself from the world… I did not take part in any
social events like singing, dancing, acting, public-speaking etc. As I turned a
teenager, I, also, turned more and more inward into my own shell… “The whole
world is watching me… and judging me”… Yes, this was how my mind operated.
Those thoughts – of self-doubts - were the seeds of my lack of self-confidence.
But, along this struggle to deal with my shyness, I, also, desired to open up.
Because I was too shy to express in speech, I began to express my deepest
feelings – including my fears – through notes in my personal diaries… The habit
has stood by me, even today; and, I think, it will stand by be till the end of
life. I write because I am shy; and, that’s the truth! Even the reason why I became
a teacher was, because, I wanted to ‘express’… There is a direct link between my
shyness and teaching profession. Finally, I would not have started THE DAWN
CLUB, if wasn’t a shy person!
“Shyness doesn’t go,”
I, often, tell others. Many agree and many disagree. It hasn’t gone from me
after all these decades of reading, teaching, preaching, writing and training…
There are so many areas where I sound very, very awkward and find it stressful when
I attempt to venture into those areas. So, I make peace and I let them be! All
that I have done, along the journey of my self-growth, is, that I have learnt
to overcome shyness just enough to feel good about myself… just enough to feel confident…
But, the shy core has
lasted!
“A man's
vanity is more fragile that you might think,” said Lisa Kleypas, “It's easy for
us to mistakeshyness for coldness, and silence for
indifference.”
Shy people are highly misunderstood lot. Sometimes, others mistake
us to be cold and indifferent, while, in reality, we are only shy. Similarly,
sometimes, we mistake others’ shyness to be coldness and silence to be indifference…
That’s the sad story of shyness!
This morning, I came across this heart-warming video…
Look at the little girl who, with her exuberance, steals our
hearts… And, look at the shy girl next to her! Look at the whole group of
little ones… The song is the same, the stage is the same, the opportunity to ‘express’
is the same… Yet… Yes, yet!
“My feelings are too loud for words and too shy for the
world.” Dejan Stojanovic seems to have spoken on behalf of
many of us here – who hide!
Pic.; Ashwin Mohta M y Hindi was always bad. It still is. One reason for this was, that they introduced Hindi for us only in 6 th standard. Or, was it in 8 th ? I don’t remember… I only remember struggling to write and read… leave alone speak! But, I loved Hindi movies, and, strangely, I could understand the dialogues and the lyrics of the songs… I used to sing those songs (of course when no one was around me!) as if I was the lyricist… One of the songs was a very funny one. ‘Muthu Kodi Kawari Hada’. It was from Mehmood’s super-hit comedy – ‘Do Phool’. I was a 15-year-old high-school boy when I had heard that song (not watched the movie). I could grasp the meaning of two words – ‘Muthu Kodi’… which meant ‘Give kiss’… But, what ‘Kawari Hada’ meant, I have no clue till date! It was just like ‘Why this kolaveri di’... Yes, why ask? Simply enjoy the beats… And, the beats are great… The rest... Who cares? Really! So, whatever bit of Hi
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone… It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula K. Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven T welve years ago, when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got married, the world began to hail the couple as ‘Brangelina’. It became a fashion for couples around us to call themselves so… Norbert and Teresa renamed them as ‘Noresa’… Amol and Vishaka baptized their relationship as ‘Amoshka’… and, Salman and Nargis became ‘Salgis’! I and my wife, too, got tempted to re-christian our matrimonial relationship as ‘Germa’... That is, Gerald and Anima, to be precise! B efore I proceed any further, let me make it very clear, here… that, I have no business to judge on the break-up of Brad Pitt and Angelina’ Jolie’s marriage. I have no inclination to go into why, how, what when etc behind it… The couple ‘chose’ to split. And, it’s their choice… Only they know how good or bad… how joyful or painful that
“I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.” - Kabir T here is a universal human weakness – and it dates back to the days of fallen civilizations – and it is: to place people on pedestal and trying to be smothered by them, feel loved and protected in their company… worship them as mentors, heroes, gurus, Mahagurus and Satgurus… Make these mortals larger-than-life cut-outs, worship them as flawless, pure and give one’s all… And, then, ‘take’ everything from them blindly as divine… Give everything to them blindly… Eventually, what happens is: one more dangerous bondage… What was supposed to free you now becomes a new prison… It’s sad to see this happen! T his room, where I am writing this Post, has no image of any deity. I have no image of any Guru or Master around me… My question is: “Am I not able to feel close to Almighty God? How does it matter
Comments